Sleepy Hollow, Season 4, Episode 5: Blood from a Stone

There’s another magic item – a rock - to be collected by Dryfuss’s demon minion (it’s being used as a prop by charlatan faith healer who ends up properly dead which I am unreasonably happy about. Or reasonably given he was bilking people with fake cures)

Then everything goes a bit off – because another figure appears with superior woo-woo and promptly burns and murders the demon assistant (apparently called Job) and steals his magic rock.

Ichabod and Diana have some bonding, dubious soccer history knowledge and introducing the new themes of the episode: i.e. Diana has accepted that her daughter Molly is a Witness but what does that actually mean for her. It’s a nice moment because “witness” is very very ill defined. It doesn’t come with super powers, nor does it make you a demon magnet. Nor does it remove her free will – all of which are things Diana has been worried about. This is the theme – what does being a witness mean to Diana and Molly and what should Diana be worried about.

The gang meets for a strategy meeting – brief time out. I’m actually surprised that Jenny is still hanging around; I felt sure she’d be shuffled off so they could concentrate on the main cast. But she seems to be hanging around and is still a major part of the plot. At this stage maybe even as prominent as Diana.

The gang has finally realised that Dryfuss is doing evil things of evil and this needs to be investigates. This involves Jake, Alex and Jenny doing Research. This is good because they all have their own awesome specialties and all work really well together. Except that Jake is still all over Jenny despite her repeatedly telling him that she’s not interested, despite Alex telling him she’s not interested, despite it being obvious to everyone else that she’s not interested

This is turned into a huge ongoing joke but it’s really not funny. Jake asking Alex to basically work on Jenny for his sake is creepy and wrong. She’s made her no very very clear at this point. The response to “no” should not be “try harder.” Persistence is not a virtue when it comes to romance despite vast chunks of paranormal romance, romance in general any every bit of fiction with a romance. Please stop this.

While Jenny heads up the research crew, Diana and Ichabod decide to go use the pretext of a missing security guard as an excuse to question Dryfuss. Because Diana, homeland security, can totally investigate missing persons cases and it not be weird or anything

Lucifer, Season Two, Episode Seven: My Little Monkey

I think that they should have titled this episode, everyone's got shit to work out.  Mazikeen is struggling to find a paying job.  Linda has gone into hiding after seeing Lucifer's true face.  For his part, Lucifer is feeling adrift having been cut from Linda and is still reeling from the death of this brother.  Detective Douche seems to have it altogether on the surface but is still dealing with his mistakes and impending divorce.  Finally, Chloe learns that the man who killed her father is being released on a compassionate leave to attend his granddaughter's christening.

As we have come to expect, this week is of course another case of the week.  It's a good thing Tom Ellis rocks in the role of Lucifer because the whole procedural thing is so not interesting.  At any rate, after finding out that her father's killer is going to get a compassionate release, Chloe decides to follow the vehicle, only to find the van stopped, the guards shot dead and her father's killer dead in the back. And that's it folks, we're off to the races.  Because of a conflict of interest, Dan is assigned to the case because somehow, investigating the murder of your father in-law isn't a massive conflict of interest for him.

 

Dear writers, just for one damn week, could we please move away from cliche shit? Please?  Anyway, Chloe's out on this one but Detective Douche doesn't have to go it alone because Lucifer decides to partner with him in order to learn to be a douche himself. This includes, wearing similar clothing to Dan, combing his hair like Dan, affecting a bad American accent, and doing Dan's walk.  This of course is played for jokes but is unsurprisingly not amusing.  They've been trying to turn these two in a bromance for awhile now and so this feels forced as fuck. 

As Dan and Lucifer work on the case of the man who was convicted of killing Chloe's father, Chloe begins to re-investigate her father's murder after finding out that man who originally convicted, was in fact innocent. Chloe learns that when his daughter shows up to kill her, inspired by a recording on which the convicted killer claims to be innocent. 

After a little investigation, Lucifer and Detective Douche learn that people have been taking payments to admit to a crime in order to make money to support their families.  Chloe confirms that this is what happened with the man who confessed to the murder of her father.  Lucifer really could have gone a little further with this but of course dropped the first interesting thing in this episode quickly.

Damien, Season 1, Episode 1: The Beast Rises

This… is not selling it to me. And that takes some effort, because Bradley James can read Dickens to me (Dickens! Who nearly killed my love of literature) and I’d back it.

Not that that’s a criticism of his performance – he’s pretty epicly bringing the acting, the pain, the angst and the drama… but the show really isn’t supporting it and has a lot of problems besides.

So this picks up after the Omen films, kind of, with the evil devil child Damian now all grown up to the age of 30 with no real memory of his childhood, his parents or all the dark evilness. He’s now a photojournalist going to warzones and reporting on atrocities (supported by considerable wealth and connections) – like Damascus in Syria. He has a friend, Omani, and a not-quite-ex-love-interest-with-whom-he-has-issues Kelly. While taking photos he runs into an old woman who magically restores some of his memory of the BAD THINGS.

He quickly becomes obsessed with finding this woman. Which brings me to my first issue with this episode: what is happening in Syria is horrendous, brutal and deeply tragic… not only does this show use the atrocities happening in Syria as a backdrop, but they’re barely worth any attention at all. It could have been a natural disaster zone in China for all the actual Syrian conflict was relevant. It was just dropped in as background imagery and then absolutely none of the characters cared. Damian’s attempt to get back into Syria, Kelly tracking down where refugees were being forcibly removed? All of it was about Damian finding this old woman – the actual conflict didn’t even register with them.

They don’t find her, but Kelly is quick to help Damian track down more clues to his past because that woman said something ominous and Biblical in Latin. She starts making some hug comparisons between Damian and Jesus and generally pushes the whole ominous devil-child theme with little foundation. Which is my second – and third – issue. Firstly Kelly and Damian apparently have History yet one quick “I have ominous dark feelings so push you away” and ta-da dealt with! She’s on board again. I also don’t remotely buy how quickly she was to buy the whole devil-child idea with comparisons with Christ and deciding to visit an expert on revelations – because his mentor once knew Damian’s now dead dad. I mean, why would she run with this? Damian describes his nanny’s tragic suicide when he was a child which would point to deep seated mental trauma to address (especially as he’s just remembered it) not “oooh time to check the Book of Revelations!”

Brighter than the Sun (Charley Davidson 8.5) by Darynda Jones

We’ve seen Charley Davidson’s story continue through the books – now we look again at these events, but from Reyes’s point of view.

This is a book that largely recaps a lot of what has been spoken about and touched upon in the main series. Often I’m not a fan of that when it comes to short stories – or long stories for that matter. Retreading old ground too often feels like some kind of broken money-grab, leaching a book out of a series when it doesn’t really have an original book there. It has to bring something new to the proceedings, to the series – it has to bring a perspective that is actually useful and novel

The perspective this book brings is Reyes point of view

The actual events of the book are ones we’ve seen before. We know Reyes’s history – we know he was repeatedly abused by Earl, we know he was controlled by threats to his sister. Everything he endured is something we knew about. But seeing it from Reyes point of view helped explain a bit more about him, especially since he’s always been the awesomely powerful one Charley has turned to

Here we see what she brought to him – he isn’t just her protector (and frequently abusive controller). He relied on her on her light and on her presence to get him through the dark times.

It also brings some insight into him and his views. He’s always been ridiculously, impossibly beautiful in a way that is full of annoying Paranormal Romance tropes of the incredible love interest who just can’t be resisted. Well here’s the dark side – here’s Reyes, ab to sense people’s emotions and always feeling that endless, hungry all consuming lust. It’s a burden on him, a constant attack on him, a pressure that always drives him down. From there his appearance is never an asset to him, but a source of constant pain. A source of him hardly ever being able to have real relationships with most people.

This is also coupled with his knowledge of who he is and what he does and the inherent conclusion that he is damned, tainted and awful. Which, of course, he is in a way – he was created entirely to help the invasion of Earth and Heaven, he was created to co-opt Charley, her mission and her power.

Accidentally Catty (Accidentals #5) by Dakota Cassidy

After stopping to help an injured cougar veterinarian Katie Woods quickly realises that she just brought a ton of trouble into her life when her hand suddenly turns into a paw after being scratched.  With a set full of new teeth, Katie goes through all the logical medical reasons for her sudden transformation.  Lucky for Katie, the crew of OOPS is on the task. Having been through an accidental turning before, Wanda, Marty, Nina and Casey are on the case.  Katie thought that suddenly having a paw was pretty wild but when the cougar who scratched her turned into a handsome Englishman, Kate quickly realised that this already complicated situation is even more complicated - or, at least, that is what her quickly beating heart is telling her.

This book five of the Accidentals series and it's now absolutely formulaic. It goes like this: girl gets accidentally scratched/bitten by some supernatural creature, girl has a freak out cause she is no longer completely human, boy feels immediate attraction and of course responsibility for the change, boy is also dealing with some kind of mortal danger, girl and boy solve his problems and have their HEA.  These books are so formulaic that at this point I swear they've been written by the numbers.

Each male interest comes with their own little twist and in Shaw's case it's amnesia.  Because he cannot remember who he is let alone his own name, Shaw is of little help assisting Katie with her change.  Shaw is the typical tall dark and handsome type with a shade of commanding and creepy.  Creepy how you may wonder? When a man sniffs a womans panties to ensure that he is straight, I'd say a shade of creepy is an accurate description. On the side of good, Shaw is entertaining and sarcastic, easily my favorite character in Accidentally Catty.

Unfortunately, once again, Nina makes an appearance in this book.  I just want this character to disappear into a massive plot hole and never ever return.  Being a vampire, Nina is the enforcer of the OOPS crew but has the class of a billy goat.  Look, I'm not one with virgin ears or eyes but I am sick of Nina's dialogue because every second word she says is fuck.  The constant swearing doesn't make her look tough but it just makes her look ignorant with a teeny vocabulary.  I also don't understand exactly why the women are friends with Nina. They all constantly have to hold her back and tell her to shut up, even as she bullies them, curses them out and threatens them every second page.

Okay sorry about the Nina rant but I cannot stand that character and in fact, I deserve a cookie for putting up with her for FIVE books.  Okay, back to Katie.  Kate is in her early forties and recovering after a bad divorce in which her work reputation was ruined.  When Shaw enters her life, the last thing she is looking for is romance, particularly with someone who doesn't look old enough to vote.  Kate quickly becomes obsessed with the idea that she is a cradle robber and goes into complete denial. So how does she deal with having an attraction she feels is inappropriate? Well, she  tries to convince herself that Shaw is gay.

Sleepy Hollow, Season One, Episode 11: The Vessel

Ichabod is finally in clothing appropriate to the time and is not impressed that Abby has pushed him into a pair of skinny jeans. Abbey snarks that Maloch might not recognize him in his new duds.  Crane starts to talk about the fear that Maloch instilled in him and Abbey sends him off to try on more clothing. Crane appears back in his old clothing and Abbey tells him that he needs to learn about dry cleaning.

Irvin is watching an interview with the people from the park about the incident in which his daughter was threatened. Frank asserts that the man acted like he was just sleeping walking but believes the suspect did threaten his daughter.  The woman from the park appears in the station looking for Irving and she touches a cop and passes off the evil spirit.  Frank gets a call from someone who tells him that if he doesn't hand over the Washington bible, his family will be taken.  Frank looks around the station and sees the officer who was touched by the woman from the park. Frank attacks the officer but the evil is passed on before he can get to the cop.  Frank gets on the phone with a priest and talks about his fear for Macy.  The priest instructs Frank to take his family somewhere safe and promises to meet him.

Frank goes to see Abbie and Crane about Washington's bible. Crane reveals that Katrina said that the bible contains the answers to defeating evil.  Abbie admits that they haven't found anything out of the ordinary.  Frank says that he has to protect his daughter and asks Abbie and Crane to help him take evil down.  Frank leaves to take his family to a safe house.

Abbie researches and finds information about a woman who encountered a demon, who could jump from body to body.  Abbie puts in a tape where Corbin talks about the woman being possessed and his attempt to free her. When the woman lifts her head, it turns out that it is Jenny.

Abbie and Crane confront Jenny, who says that she doesn't remember any of it and has never seen the tape. Abbie asserts that they need to watch it to see how Corbin took down the demon because they believe the demon is back.  Jenny suggests that they hand over the bible but Crane says that the bible must be critical.  Jenny assents and Abbie turns the tape back on.

The demon in Jenny is not impressed when Corbin waves a crucifix in front of it.  The demon tells Corbin that he will die at the hands of the horseman of death and that he will kill Abbie.  Jenny rushes forward and turns off the tape.  Abbie and Jenny bicker about the fact that Jenny didn't confide in Abbey.  They talk more about how Corbin took care of the demon and Jenny starts to leave until Abbie reminds Jenny that Macy is only 13.  Jenny pauses, apologizes and leaves.

Macy, Jones, Frank, and Morales  arrive at a cabin.  What Frank does not know is that Morales is now carrying the demon. Frank tells Jones that he needs his A game, as Morales watches.  Cynthia gets out of the car and asks how serious this situation is. Frank says that he cannot share the details right now and orders Morales to check the perimeter.

Jenny is still sitting in the car when Crane finds her.  Crane acknowledges how difficult this is for Jenny but reminds her that the demon will come for Macy soon.  Jenny starts to talk about her time being possessed and how it was assumed that she was just another troubled kids.  Apparently, even after the demon was gone, Jenny still had thoughts about Abbie, so she deliberately had herself arrested to avoid harming Abbor.  We get a flash from the tape with the demon saying that Jenny has been chosen and that she has been marked.  Crane again asserts that they need Jenny's help.

The Dresden Files: Season 1 Episode 9: The Other Dick

To continue to be a police consultant Harry, apparently, has to get his private investigator’s license, which involves class rooms and tests (well, given that he continually uses magic which doesn’t look good on police investigations and half of the cases he’s worked on must be marked unsolved, I think it’s a miracle he’s still a consultant at all). Unfortunately for Harry, the class isn’t a charity and he isn’t paying his fees – sending him begging to Murphy for money.

Oh, and for extra fun, his teacher (Brenan) turns up dead. Really, murdering the teacher in a private investigator school? Surely someone’s going to figure it out! (But it’d make a great final test wouldn’t it? Who murdered your teacher – for an A) and, of course, Harry was found over the body (which is such a habit of his Murphy doesn’t even suspect him any more. Honestly, Harry must stand around bodies waiting to be discovered lurking over them). The man was also charged with electricity – shocking Harry when he touched him

The main clue they have is that he was working on something before he died – though his notes are in code and his assistant, Fontaine (who thinks Harry should be arrested) knows nothing about it. Harry wants to solve this case because the deceased was a decent man, a good man. And Bob thinks he wants to solve it because Fontaine is an attractive woman. Of course, Bob is a dirty old lecher – but not always wrong when it comes to Harry and his disturbing  habit of getting very close to female clients.

Using some magic on the notes translates them and he heads to see Ronald Jones, HR manager at a meat packing plant where he meets up with and teams up with Fontaine.  Turns out Jones hired Brenan to follow his wife who was spending a lot more time away from home – but Brenan cleared her of having an affair, something Fontaine doesn’t agree with. There follows much tug of war between Harry and Fontaine over who is in the lead.

Following the wife, Felicity, leads them to many many shops and a fertility clinic in a ley line cluster – something Harry wants to follow up alone but ends up having to bring Fontaine along with him. Naturally, hilarity ensues. But Harry follows a ley line into a room. Now, I think the writer was aiming for this “alternative therapy room” to be full of creepy occult stuff (so the music implies). To me I just see a metric fuckton of candles with some rather abstract artwork and odd little potpourri piles. It’s quite pleasant, really. Anyway Felicity is being treated in the pleasantly decorated not-very-spooky occult room. Other than Brenan being grabby with Fontaine, they don’t find much else and leave with piccies of the occult room and a sample of tea from it.