The Vampire Diaries, Season Six, Episode Four: Black Hole Sun

Back in Groundhog land, Bonnie has returned with several items that Kai has requested.  Kai makes it clear that Bonnie's magic, as well as his supposed element and whatever Damon was doing on May 10th, 1994 are the key to getting out of there. Damon threatens torture but Kai warns that if he is tortured, he will get angry and will not be in the mood to help, causing Bonnie to tell Damon to play nice.  It turns out that Damon doesn't want to play nice because it would mean relating the worst thing he has ever done. Hmm, a serial killer and a rapist has something beyond that to be ashamed of?

Flashback time:  Damon shows up at the Salvatore home and the door is answered  by Stephan.  When Damon tries to enter, he finds that he is barred from entrance. It seems that it's been fifty years since the brothers have seen each other and Stephan is not impressed by Damon's claim about wanting to change his ways.  Putting flowers on Lexy's grave 17 years after killing her, doesn't hold much weight in Stephan's book but he is curious as to why Damon wants to make amends.  Zack makes his appearance and Stephan introduces him to Damon.  Zack invites Damon in and Stephan again queries Damon about starting over.

Elena and Stephan talk by phone about their search for Sarah.  It seems that Sarah is not on any of the roads and so Stephan surmises that Sarah must be in Mystic Falls.  Elena believes this is horrible because Sarah knows that she and Caroline are vampires.  Stephan cuts the calls short and starts his bike up, only to be interrupted by Elena, who demands to know where the hell he is going.  When Stephan replies home, Elena tells him that Savannah is not his home and that it is merely an escape.  Stephan says that now that he can longer enter Mystic Falls, he has a new home. Stephan seems to be making perfect sense to me because there is a large world outside of Mystic Falls. It seems that Stephan plans to go to Savannah, pack up his things and start over because Enzo killed Ivy.  Elena demands proof that Stephan is happy and if he fails to seem happy enough for her, she will harass him.  Umm yeah Elena not believing to put this one horse town behind her seems far more problematic. It must be all of the brainwashing in those Founder's Day celebrations. Elena hops on Stephan's bike, saying that since she cannot enter Mystic Falls, it's up to Matt and Jeremy to get a handle on Sarah.

Jeremy is busy puking his brains out, while Matt and Alaric chat about Jeremy's drunkenness and the missing Sarah. Matt is on his way to Tripp's office to see if he can get Tripp to trust him enough to tell him what he knows. After ending his call, Alaric takes the time to flirt with Jo, saying that Jeremy needs a quick hangover cure, as well as an STD test.

 Matt arrives at Tripp's office to find Tripp notifying Jay's parents that he found their son dead in the woods last night.  Matt says that Jay was drunk and that he should have driven him home.  Tripp decides to go and see the sheriff and Matt volunteers to go because he might be the last person to see Jay alive.

Flashback time to 1994, where the brother's wash Damon's car, as they watch Zack and  the very pregnant Gail.  Stephan is quick to advise Damon to stop thinking of Zack and Gail as prey because they are both on vervain. Hmm let's see, new Black character, yeah Gail is vampire food. In midst of the telling of Damon telling this story, Kai falls asleep, causing a grouchy Damon to snark. Kai's swears that he wasn't sleeping and sarcastically questions if Damon killed Gail.  Damon tells Kai that the only reason he is still alive, is because Damon thought Kai could help them.  Kai replies that they will harness the power of the eclipse, using a mystical relic called an ascendant. Kai slices his finger, adding that they need a locater spell.

Back in Savannah, Stephan shows Elena his paycheck for the week, which is a grand total of 206 dollars.  Stephan questions if Elena wants to go and get drunk, to which Elena replies that she gets that the point is to live as human as possible.  Elena then points out Stephan's expensive classic car and a sheepish Stephan admits that Damon isn't around to torture him about the car anymore.  Elena snarks about Stephan working a dead end job but Stephan says that they get to decide who they want to be for the next thirty years.

Back at the hospital, Alaric talks with Jo about Jeremy's drinking.  Jo says that Jeremy will be fine, especially if Jeremy is anything like his sister and that this is something she treats every single night on campus. How is Elena, someone who clearly rarely attends class, suddenly a paragon of goodness?  Over her shoulder, Alaric notices a kid with a massively bloody nose and so Jo snarks that when a moderately successful, beautiful doctor is flirting with him,  Alaric should give her his full attention, before walking away.

Elena and Stephan have now hit the bar, where Stephan suggests that if Sarah "outs" her that she should start her life somewhere else. Why oh why equate vampirism with an GLBT identity? Stephan asks that Elena hand over her ring and then gets on one knee, before loudly starting to propose.  Elena queries whether Stephan is proposing because she is pregnant. Stephan loudly proclaims that Elena has stood by his side during addiction, multiple accidents, including a bull fighting injury.  Elena can barely stop herself from laughing, as she says yes, as the bar breaks out in applause.

The Vampire Diaries, Season 4, Episode 4, Episode 11: Catch Me if you Can

 Mat runs for his life through the woods, chased by an angry vampire. Which catches and bites him! Yay, excess character removed!

But Jeremy shoots the vampire with a crossbow. Damn it, Vampire Diaries, don’t tease like that.  Flashback to the bar where Klaus has had his mini massacre and Jeremy is not willing to go along with killing all the noobie vamps and Klaus can’t compel him, a hunter to do so. Klaus agrees – but he can compel all these many vamps to kill Matt (yay!) unless Jeremy saves him (boo!). Damon is Shocked And Appalled by this since he never agreed to have Mat imperilled. Oh look, making a deal with an Original Vampire doesn’t go to plan. Why, I am surprised. This has never ever happened before, truly.

Back to the present and the newly nibbled on Matt, Jeremy wants to get Matt to the lakehouse and safety and Damon agrees to slow the noobie vamps – which he does by killing them. Which completely wastes them being turned – how about super-speedy DAMON get Matt to the boathouse and Jeremy kill the noobie vamps? Elena joins the protect Matt party (damn it, Elena just has to be part of everything) and she, Jeremy and Matt make it to the boathouse where no vamp can enter without an invite.

Next day when the noobie vamps have either left or BBQed, Elena scolds Damon for the plan and killing innocent people (I believe this is because, as Jeremy is her brother, she doesn’t want to have sex with him – so the innocent people he kills matter, as opposed to the double or treble digit death counts Stefan and Damon have totted up). She reiterates not wanting the cure anyway and now they need a plan to keep Matt safe at nightfall (building they can’t enter without being invited? Sounds like a good plan to me). Damon presents the plan of him and Jeremy going hunting for baby vampire, problem solved.

Alas, we have to check up on Stefan (the shirtlessness makes it tolerable) and Rebekah (nothing makes her tolerable) reading his diary (oh, I know what it says! “angst angst, Elena, waaaah, Damon raaawr, angst angst, foolish plan, angst).  And he’s totally done with Elena, but their team (I shall call it Team Whiney) is in a severe disadvantage next to Klaus, Damon & Co (Team Sexy) and Team Shane & Bonnie (Team Extras) so Rebekah has a plan (oh dear).  Shane revealed that he knew about evil!immortal!Silas’s headstone while being waterboarded last week and Rebekah thinks if they grab it they can make Team Extras join Team Whiney.

To Team Extras where Bonnie is still upset that her spell nearly killed April (I’m upset about that as well – I thought we’d finally killed off the pointless character but, alas, she lived).  When she gets irritable she also starts fires (or mood lighting) but Shane reassures her with some worrisome looking hypnotism. Which is when Sheriff Forbes (Founderella, Caroline’s mum), comes in and handcuffs Shane for… reasons, and tells Bonnie to ask her dad (Dead Mayor Walking) about why.

Jeremy and Damon go hunting the noobie vamps at the bar and find that they’ve all already been massacred by Kol, the Aussie Original (it comes and goes though. I like to think that Kol’s accent is deliberately created to represent someone with centuries of different accents effecting his speech, but I rather think it’s an Australian actor aiming for an English accent with the help of a South African language coach) got there first and wants to talk to them.  He wants everyone to stop looking for the cure because he’s worried about Silas; seems Kol has come across Silas worshippers in the past who believe Silas will bring about the end of time and he’d really rather time didn’t end, being immortal and all. So he murdered them (this may have been to stop Silas or just because that’s what Kol does for shits and giggles).

Of course, the Hunter’s Curse stops him killing Jeremy, so he decides to rip off his arms instead (actually, when it comes to problem solving, Kol may be the most efficient of the Originals). Damon attacks him to give time for Jeremy to run before Kol quickly gets the upper hand.

Back to Team Whiney, Stefan and Rebekah search Shane’s office. Stefan is pouty, Rebekah is nostalgic and they find Shane’s herbs.

On to scenes that may be remotely relevant – Sheriff Frobes is questioning Shane watched, via camera, by Bonnie (because highschool students often get to watch police interviews) and her father, Mayor Rudy Hopkins (Dead Mayor Walking). Bonnie protests Shane’s innocence and thinks her dad’s just trying to keep her away from Shane, but Dead Mayor Walking points out April told them what Shane did and Rebekah said Shane had confessed to her. Bonnie decides she should be the one to interview Shane because we’ve stopped even pretending Mystic Falls has a legal process. Bonnie tells Shane Rebekah lied about him and Shane reveals that she actually told the truth (but covered his mouth from the camera – hah, like anyone even remotely cares about chain of evidence here).

Secret Circle, Season 1, Episode 21: Prom.

The Circle is gathered in angst and melodrama discussing that Cassie and Diana saw Nick last episode and that he’s looking surprisingly good for a dead man. There’s debate as to whether it’s Nick, whether it’s a demon, whether he’s merrily mauling people. With high emotions from Melissa (who loved Nick) and Jake (Nick’s brother). We also have some flaring of the trust issues between John Blackwell and Diana with Cassie trying to sooth it all over and declaring her trust for John because… actually I don’t have a reason.

Later Faye chides Jake on not being sensitive over Melissa’s feelings over Nick which is almost funny coming from Faye. Did everyone skip the part where Nick is Jake’s brother and there’s probably a big reason why Jake is upset over the whole issue? She tries to get him to “talk it out” but he’s not especially open to that. Faye, again, has the best line “you’ve got that look… that look that you’re about to invade a small country with nothing but your tortured soul.” Such a perfect line, I have to steal it. And Jake decides to arm himself just in case

Cassie’s super special blood is going to help her find the crystal hidden in the school – so off she toddles (alone, of course) and she gets to hallucinate the past – including seeing her mother with the crystal. She hopes to see more so she recruits Diana to help her see more (despite her outrage over Black Magic). They plan to do it the next night on prom so the school will be open (and full of people. In fact, I’d say this makes prom the worst possible night to choose) though Diana is upset that she will miss Prom – the most special day of the school year

We top up the angst with Diana and Charles (her father, Evil Parent#2) and then some more prom drama with Adam, Faye (who has invited Jake), Cassie and Melissa with Faye pushing to have a “normal” prom and celebrating it properly – I actually kind of love her ultimatum “There Will Be Dancing”. Faye continues to push for more promness. Diana also meets up with Grant (pointless Australian Guy) just to keep the angst levels nice and high.

Finally plot wise we get Melissa meeting Nick at the Magic House. Nick needs the crystal and says he’s dying but he doesn’t seem to be in his right mind and storms off when Adam turns up. Yeah, Adam kind of makes me feel the same way. Melissa insists that Nick is in there to be saved by Ada (Wet Lettuce) and Jake (Sexy Evil One) think he was just after the crystal and he’s wild, feral and dangerous.

At prom they cast the spell (choosing the worst night of the year also allows them all to have magical hijinks in formal dress) and they flash back to the school in past and see the Amelia and Elizabeth (Diana’s dead mother) arguing over John and how evil he is and how it’s Amelia’s fault for trusting him (oh and to ratchet up Diana’s angst levels even more)

Amelia returns the crystal to the Adam’s (Wet Lettuce’s) grandfather who is a teacher at the school – and tells him that Ethan (Wet Lettuce’s dad) is turning John over to the Witch Hunters to have him killed – Granddad Lettuce isn’t best pleased at the idea of trusting the Witch Hunters but it turns out that Blackwell has been casting fertility spells ensuring that all of the women in the Circle got pregnant at the same time – ensuring their children would (also explaining why they all had kids while still in high school) grow up together. (Did the Elders do the same thing with the Parent Circle? Because they all seem to be of an age as well). He’s creating his own Circle with the kids. Granddad Lettuce agrees to hide the Crystal while Amelia flees.

Discovering that John Blackwell has been manipulating the parents and the kids, Diana has a huge hissy fit and blames it all on Cassie before flouncing out of the room, letting Cassie up her angst levels.

In the present, Melissa adds some more angst, lamenting to Adam about how they never have a normal life because of magic – Wet Lettuce uses some magic and dancing to cheer her up. Faye and Jake discuss how Jake stood her up at prom years ago and drags him out to the dance floor. This gives her the chance again to try and make Jake talk about his brother

Anyway the crystal is found but Nick finds it first so they all (except Diana who is having an angst meltdown) chase him (humour moment – all of the girls run while putting on their coats while chasing him outside, no really, because in a chase scene you worry about getting cold) and, yes, everyone is running not using magic. And they’re all running in formal clothing and formal shoes. They, naturally chase him into a deserted, spooky junk yard (but Faye wonderfully mocks it of course)

Nick is meeting Eben (Evil Black Witchunter) and wants to trade the crystal for his demon – which Cassie says is what’s keeping him alive, so he wants it back. Melissa, Chief Angster for Nick declares that having a demon inside you is no kind of life (this is foreshadowing for why it’s ok to re-kill Nick/let him die again). Now with 3 of them (Adam, Cassie and Melissa) they could use the magic of their Circle together to get the Crystal back – but of course Cassie can’t do that and stomps out on her own all dark magicy to make Nick drop the Crystal. Eben sends Cassie flying (with magic… somehow? Was that ever explained?). The rest of the Circle tends to flutter around not doing much – and Blackwell shows up for a show down with Eben. Faye stays to help Eben (alone – so how her bound powers can help I don’t know)

The Secret Circle, Season 1, Episode 13: Medallion

So, after completely destroying its canon in the last episode, Secret Circle went on hiatus for a week. Now it’s time to catch up and see if they can put the pieces back together again.

And we begin with teen angst. Adam just can’t believe Cassie dug up her father with Jake. I mean with Jake – how could she! And just when the sad Wed Lettuce eyes were finally starting to take effect, that’s so sad and mean! How could you not have invited Adam to your grave desecration! (Exhumation of her father’s corpse is less important than the fact she did it with Jake.) Adam continues to have a little pout about the big bad Jake.

I could almost, ALMOST, see Adam, the Wet Lettuce, as having a point by saying that she’s going really fast to find out about her power, taking risks, for no good reasons. Except he made common sense all about jealousy because the Wet Lettuce doesn’t want Jake coming between them (because they kissed once and now they’re fiiiiinnnnalllllyy together. One kiss man. One. I know it’s been a while for you since you broke up with Diana, Chief Scooby, but seriously, one kiss. Does that even count as an “us” for Jake to get between?) Never mind that there’s no real reason to be hurried here, never mind that there’s actually. Never mind that the Witch Hunter rituals are about 8,000 times less threatening than a guy just stabbing you with a nice, common knife.

Ok rant over. On with what I will call (with deep reservations) the plot.

Cassie meets Lucy Gibbons, a psychic who was on the boat during the big witch hunter fire. As a younger woman, she saw Cassie’s spectral self visiting Jake’s memory and told Cassie to get out – she’s not tracked Cassie down since her memory of that fire has changed to include meeting Cassie. And she’s here to warn Cassie about the Witch Hunters (the guys who really need to just get a gun). Then she disappears again.

This causes Cassie and Jake to do some unwise experimenting with dark magic, as you do, which ends up with them in awkward, accidental sexy hold while Adam comes and catches them. Angst and jealousy, yay. And Adam is again using Common Sense because they have a whole circle of magic to protect themselves – they should be playing with THAT magic that they don’t understand rather than Cassie’s magic that they don’t understand. What a choice!  

Cassie, naturally, chooses dark magic because Sexy!Evil Jake says so and they go tracking down Lucy who has a ritual to open up the Blacoin amulet to allow more lovely dark magic they can’t control. Sadly, Adam has decided he needs to protect Cassie from herself by stealing her amulet! Go go patriarchal, patronising control! Though Adam does redeem somewhat by giving it back and saying he has no right to make decisions for her. See, this is the problem with Spunky Agency, because while I think Adam is grossly out of line and patronising to try and make this decision for Cassie, Cassie’s own awful decision making makes me think someone has to! Also, again with Adam’s opposition being all about jealousy when there are perfectly sensible reasons to oppose Cassie’s black magic palooza.

Betrayed by Morgan Rice, Book 3 of the Vampire Journals series

After the last book, Caitlin wakes up as a vampire half way through her change. But the world has no time to wait for her to adapt to her new state. The evil vampire Kyle has the Sword of power they had fought so hard for. With this sword he can take over the Blacktide coven and from there expand his war against all humanity and the benevolent vampires. Already, thousands of vampires rage through the plagued streets of New York.

Caleb cannot afford to wait for Caitlin and has to leave her with friends while he goes to try and protect his home and the White coven –but they cannot part on easy terms as Sera, Caleb’s ex-wife, is determined to drive a wedge between them.

While Caitlin learns to adapt to her new form while at the same time mastering her painful emotions over Caleb, Caleb is faced with the suicidal task of stopping the Blacktide Coven

Meanwhile, Sam, Caitlin’s brother  is still with Samantha, a vampire of the Blacktide Coven. Still trying to redeem herself from her failure, Samantha is forced to turn Sam into a vampire – and they both most work at surviving as members of the Blacktide Coven in less than good standing

I have to say that the writing of this book was such a barrier to any kind of enjoyment. People don’t speak, they have speeches – seriously, people can’t have a conversation they have to take it in terms to declaim several paragraphs at each other. It’s like a series of monologues. The writing itself is very very overwritten, exacerbated by Caitlin’s habit of having epicly long emotional  internal monologues that we are treated to constantly to a point where I either wish Caitlin would just go get drunk or I could. The writing is florid, purple and horribly over-written and this already short book could have been much much shorter if the excess description, excess “plot” points, the cumbersome dialogue and the endless emotional maundering were curbed.

And the characters? So much melodrama! So much angst!  The bad guy virtually twirls his moustache and ties young women to train tracks – he spreads plague! He cements his minion’s loyalty by making them kill their loved ones (is that supposed to work?). The good guys are so pure and noble – Caleb and Samuel are willing to sacrifice themselves like the noble good warriors they are! The staid leaders of the White Coven are so conservative and inactive they may as well be statues buried upside down so their heads are in the sand. New York is being ripped apart by the Blacktide Coven and their plan is to pretend it isn’t happening.

On Vampire High School (Pollopel Island, but, really Vampire Highschool is easier and sums up everything you need to know about the place without me having to describe it), where Caitlin goes to hang out we have a selection of non-entities who do nothing except love and adore Caitlin. Oh and Polly, who exists to provide pointlessly long exposition. Seriously, she’s like a walking Wikipedia that won’t shut up and is extra extra perky. She lives to info-dump.

The Vampire Diaries Season Three: Episode Eleven: Our Town

It seems that "our town," is made of teen angst, love triangles, serial murder and founders day worship, and this basically makes it just another day in Mystic Falls. It seems that the big plan is to drag out the opening of Klaus' family coffins.  To keep us interested however, we learned this episode that there is an extra coffin.  Seeing as how his brothers, sisters and father, are all accounted for, someone significant must be in the extra coffin, and Bonnie believes that whoever is in that coffin has the power to kill Klaus.  Since Klaus' mother is dead, I believe that the person in the extra coffin is the witch friend of Klaus' mother.  Who do you think it might be?

Alright straight into the angst shall we? The love triangle between Elena, Stefan and Damon is still running strong.  This week there was the suggestion that despite all of his bravado that Stefan might still have very strong feelings for Elena.  When Stefan threatens to kill Elena, by driving her off the same bridge that her parents died on, Klaus is resistant to believe that he will turn her into a vampire and says to Damon, "love like that never dies."  Okay people, say it with me, awwwww.  After Klaus capitulates in order to ensure that Elena will live, because she is the key to him making more hybrids, Stefan stops the car.  (Don't you wish they would just stop putting Elena in peril when there is zero chance that she will do us all a favor and disappear from the show?) Elena is visibly upset.  She later attacks Stefan and asks how he could do this to her, and he answers that he has lost everything, and that he knew when he left town that he had lost her for good.  When she asks him if he is trying to make her hate him, he says that he no longer cares what she thinks of him.  Nothing like lovers games: go away, come back, go away, come back, go away, come back.

Why or why is Elena even talking to Stefan?  He is supposed to be the so-called good vampire, and yet she has witnessed the corpses he has left behind, as well as seen the long list of his victims.  Just that night he threatened to kill her violently, and forced his blood down her throat (note: blood transfer this way is a metaphor for semen and rape), and yet she is still concerned with whether or not he might love her.  This absolutely disgusts me, and doubly so because this crap is aimed at young women.  Violence is not romantic, no matter how much the abuser claims to love you, and there is no doubt about it, Stefan is a violent, abusive murderer.

On the other side of the triangle, we have Damon, who seems to have turned into Elena's faithful pet.  At this point, I no longer recognize him.  On one hand he is in collusion with Stefan to bring about Klaus' death, and the other he has become Elena's night in shining armor, waiting patiently upon her to decide that he is worthy of her love. What happened to the vampire that showed up in season one, unafraid to kill for his own amusement? What happened to the dark and terrifying Damon? And on that note, why is Elena even considering Damon after he killed her brother in cold blood just last season?  The very same brother that she lied to in order to protect just last episode?  Yeah, yeah, I know, the senseless pretty teenage protagonist always comes with the magical ability to change the basic personality of her lovers simply be her power to be awe inspiringly dense at every opportunity, thus causing his protective mode to kick in.

The Secret Circle, Season 1, Episode 10: Darkness

So after the long hiatus, The Secret Circle is back with us. Let me remind you where we left off. Cassie has powerful dark magic because of her ancestry, the witch hunters want to use her to help hunt witches (after all, Jake bought into the plan) and there are so many love triangles that plotting them all in pretty colours could be sold in the Tate Modern as art. Evil!Parents are trying to get back their powers that were stripped by the elder circle and they killed Henry, one of the Elder Cirle, stole Cassie’s grandmother’s memories (another member of the Elder Circle) and in doing so – causing her to exhibit early dementia-like symptoms. Faye is still a Mean Girl, Adam is a Wet Lettuce, Diane is still control freak Chief Scooby, Jake is Sexy Bad Boy and Melissa is Pointless Token Racial Inclusion. I think that pretty much covers everything

So, on with the show.

Cassie isn naturally somewhat perturbed about having dark magic in her blood and is having a disturbing dream about killing Jake, the Sexy Bad Boy. Frankly, I’m disturbed as well. She had Jake in her dreams and wastes this quality fantasy time with killing him. Very disappointing. I think the stage is being set for lots of Cassie!Angst about how terrible it is to have super powers.

And yes, that may sound cynical, but I am so so so so tired of this trope. Take teenager, give them PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWER (with no living space consequences) and inevitably they will turn round and start crying about how abnormal having super powers is.

Adam soggily arrives to puppy dog eyes all over Cassie and assure her that her special super powers may have nothing to do with her black magic and may just be because she’s a super special good person. Not particularly willing to put on Adam’s Care Bear glasses, Cassie wants him to keep it all a secret (because absolutely no-one else in the circle is questioning why Cassie can do magic?). Adam’s ability to keep a secret lasts all of 2 seconds before he spills to Chief Scooby. Cassie is understandably upset and magically strangles Adam – don’t feel bad Cassie, I’m sure we’ve all dreamed of strangling him at some time or other. Her secret out they have a Scooby meeting (well, without Melissa. She doesn’t count, again. Seriously, repeatedly involving FAYE of all people in your big plans but not Melissa is ludicrous) about her black magic which gets all awkward so Cassie does what Cassie always does in these situations – leaves. Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. No-one can have a serious conversation with Cassie because she’s constantly fleeing.

Meanwhile we get a new character – Kate, Chief Scooby Diane’s grandmother and Evil!Parent#2’ Charles’ mother. Also, presumably a member of the Elder Circle and user of super-magical Olay products. Olay Elder is also here to help Chief Scooby Diane with her broken heart after breaking up with Wet Lettuce Adam (though since she instigated the break up and kept trying to force Adam and Cassie together, I have to raise my eyebrows at this). Kate follows up by visiting Evil!Parent#1, Dawn and to talk about Henry’s death – and gives Dawn some quality stink-eye and make it clear she knows something’s going on and she is not happy about it.

Dawn demands a meeting with Charles – and wants rid of Kate. Actually, she wants to kill Olay Elder. Unsurprisingly, Charles isn’t overly thrilled at the idea of offing his mother (or going on a killing spree of the whole Elder Circle). This continued attempt at matricide puts a rift between Charles and Dawn while Dawn tries to find a way to say “let’s kill your mum” that actually sounds good. It’s a tough sell.

Meanwhile, Mean Girl Faye is being her usual respectful self towards Melissa’s pain and trying to manipulate her into getting their magic back. Stay classy Faye. Melissa manages to maintain her independence for all of 2 minutes before settling back in as Faye’s sidekick, using a page stolen from Cassie’s Book of Shadows to use Voodoo (oh dear) to get their un-circled magic back which leads them to a voodoo practitioner (a white voodoo practitioner no less) who, after much wrangling, is going to work with Faye to get her powers uncircled. I have a feeling this storyline is going to be tiresome. One good thing that comes out of this pointless little storyline is Melissa pausing in her following Faye around long enough to announce she won’t be Faye’s little servant any more. I’d praise this but I suspect it will lead to Melissa getting even less screen time than she already does

The Vampire Diaries Season Three: Episode Ten: The New Deal

The hiatus just seemed to fly by didn't it?  When last we left Mystic Falls, Elena had finally decided to give up on The Ripper otherwise known as Stefan, after he fouled the plans of the scooby gang to kill Klaus.  For his part, Stefan finally got proactive and kidnapped Klaus' family, whom he had been carting around in coffins for centuries. Now that is a dysfunctional family.

 Once again Mystic Falls is a hotbed of action, because Klaus wants his family back, Elena wants to be safe and Stefan wants revenge.  In an effort to find Stefan, Klaus talks Tyler into hanging out with Jeremy.  This of course concerns Elena and she attempts to forbid them from spending time together.  Jeremy rightfully calls her a hypocrite and invites Tyler in.  I don't even know where Elena got off giving Jeremy that speech, when she spent the entire summer trying to save The Ripper - a man who kills so savagely that he tears their heads from their bodies and then writes down their names in order to have an accurate record of his kills.  I think Jeremy made a great point when he suggested that they should leave Mystic Falls.  When you think about it, there is no logical reason to stay. Bonnie is a witch and Caroline is a vampire, which means that they are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Elena is staying because she likes the excitement and wants to stay in the thick of things.

In other news, Elena decides to call Bonnie to talk to her about Stefan having the coffins.  Bonnie tells Elena that she should stay out of it, but two seconds later, she is ready to do Elena's bidding.  I would like to point out that this is twice in one episode at this point, that Elena has been given perfectly good advice that she has decided to ignore.  Once Elena gets to the house, she tries to reason with Stefan, and even goes as far as to say that Jeremy is in danger, but Stefan will not budge. Damon comes up with the plan of each taking the time to deal with their own sibling. 

We learn that Stefan ended their little plan to kill Klaus to save Damon.  When Damon wants in on the plan, Stefan rejects him.  This, believe it or not is actually a sensible decision.  The moment Damon got involved, he would only run to Elena, who would interject herself into whatever Stefan is trying accomplish, firm in the belief that she knows better than anyone else.  We all know that logical planning is not high on Elena's priority list.  It was only a few weeks ago she thought it was a good idea to approach a group of werewolves on the night of the full moon in an isolated location.

Tyler finally gets around to confronting his lord and master.  Would you believe that he actually expressed shock that Klaus would kill someone to get what he wants.  I get the whole blood bond thing, but his faith in Klaus at this point is ridiculous.  If he was so sure that Klaus wasn't really all that bad, then why did he knock out Caroline and have her physically removed from the party, at which they tried to kill Klaus?  I suppose consistency is too much to ask for on The Vampire Diaries. I don't understand what they are doing with Tyler's character at all?  They went from building so much empathy around him becoming a werewolf to turning him into an empty beast without the ability to think.

The Secret Circle: Season 1, Episode 4: Heather

Well we open to see that Melissa (Doormat) and Nick (Hot Guy) seem to be having a much healthier relationship. I bet it can't last – more angst is needed. Meanwhile, Cassie is looking up Heather Barnes (her mother's old school friend) after Zachary mentioned she wasn't dead and that Cassie's mother did far worse than that to her. Cassie is looking her up because... because... actually I don't have a clue, maybe she's chronically bored or needs to top up her angst levels or something. Anyway she's googling. She does her best to find her, but her cyberstalking skills are sadly lacking as she tries to trace where she lives, what family she has and their contact details (she turns up a brother). Not perturbed, she goes to school and enlists the aid of Diana (Chief Scooby) to go on a happy stalking field trip! Yay!

But alas, Diana can't go but she nominates Adam (Adam may not make decisions, Chief Scooby decides!) so we can have more puppy dog eyes between Adam and Cassie. And here I side-eye. After last episode Diana admitted she thought there was something going on between Adam and Cassie, it's obvious they're both into each other and fine, she trusts them – but then decides to all but set them up? Really? Go take some Mean Girl lessons from Faye!

Thoughts on 'Teen Wolf': Episodes 1-4

So when I first heard about MTV's Teen Wolf, I could not get the image of that campy 80's movie with the same name staring Michael J. Fox.  Honestly, I was scared to watch.  It turns out it is not in the least bit camp.  The special effects are also pretty awesome and the male stars are not hard on the eyes at all. Okay, okay before you start chanting jail bait and accusing me of robbing the cradle, this is who I am referring to most specifically:

Ummm. Mine Mine Mine Mine

Tyler Posey is bitten in the woods by an alpha werewolf but it his best friend, Stiles who figures out right away that he is a werewolf when he starts to exhibit weird skills and behaviour.  Suddenly, Tyler is not only agile, but has a strong sense of smell and improved hearing.  Rather than showing concern about the changes happening to his body, in typical teen angst urban fantasy Tyler is lusting for the new girl Allison Argent.  Yeah why worry that your life will never be the same when you have the attention of a hot girl. Unfortunately for Tyler, Allison comes from a line of hunters that hunts and kills werewolves.  Her father, Argent is absolutely on to him, but that is not enough for him to think that maybe the cute girl isn't worth the risk. Unfortunately, to think that way one would actually have to be thinking with one's head and not one's groin.

Ian Somerhalder's Famous Facial Expressions

Ian Somerhalder was almost hot enough to make The Vampire Diaries worth watching. Almost
Unfortunately, pictured above is one of his 6 facial expressions.Which is good - it’s 3 more than Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley have between them. I think they had to share. And the whole cast practiced their “long intense stares” together in a mirror