Haven, Season 4, Episode 11: The Monster's Ball

Seth and Anderson, inept paranormal researchers, have arrived in Haven. Let us hope a Trouble turns them inside out very very soon. Though I do have to laugh at the “how many gas leaks does a small fishing village have to have before they get new pipes?!” Perfect, A+ self-aware lamp shading!

They hear a scream and a roar from a house and see the door is ripped off – they go to investigate. Inside the house is ransacked and there are large claws marks marring the walls – and then something chases them, something that growls and roars.

A Haven werewolf?

To the police with Dwight and Gloria (who is absolutely awesome and delivers some quality snark, as ever) describing how the dead had been found with its heart eaten out of its chest: and all of this is witnessed and heard by the two useless researchers with a direction microphone. They’ve just annoyed Gloria. I have pity for them now. The researchers call it a Rougarou (Loup-Garou – basically a werewolf). They’ve now heard about the Troubles and wish to research more – before Dwight comes in to try and move them on.

Back to the actual plotline – Audrey is apparently not dead but is presumably receiving medical attention. Duke decides to be a rock for Nathan while sending Jennifer to see if Vince and Dave have any idea about Audrey’s connection to William.

Audrey is in the hospital, as is William and there’s a suspicious doctor who really should have seen enough weird things in Haven without this being surprising. Duke and Nathan are with them and Nathan thinks they can just keep William sedated (at what point does an injury cross the line? I mean, wouldn’t eternal sedation make Audrey sleepy?). Vince arrives to ask Nathan to help with their heart-eater and the paranormal researchers. Duke mocks the whole idea – no-one takes these researchers seriously, but Audrey points out that’s because the researchers never find anything real. If they did, in Haven, they could attract unfortunate attention. She sends Duke and Nathan out to help, it’s not like they can heal her wound anyway.

With them gone she talks to Vince about her connection and causing the Troubles – Vince promises her they know nothing about it and doesn’t believe Audrey is the cause of the Troubles.

Duke and Nathan go to question a relative of the last victim and run into the researchers who, of course, won’t turn off their camera. A squabble follows – and all the lights spark and go out. They hit the back and plan to sneak out the back (Nathan gives Duke a tiny gun, he draws a much bigger one). They’re all very quite – until something large and growly moves into the store. There’s a tense, really well shot scene of them dodging around in the dark, dodging the barely seen creature and firing at it until they finally hit the lights. The creature is gone – but Gemma, the relative of the last victim – is dead, with her heart eaten out of her chest.

Haven, Season 4, Episode 10: The Trouble with Troubles

So we had many many many revelations last time – so where do we go from here?

We open in a disaster zone – lots of things burning, lots of chaos and fear and soot stained Duke in a white tank-top (every cloud has a silver lining). William has struck again – before this woman remembered her trip to Hawaii and had sand in her shoes – now she conjures a volcano (I’d go with the volcano – I hate sand in my shoes).

Audrey and Nathan go back to her place where Nathan wants to be lovey-dovey and Audrey is more concerned with who William thinks she is and all the chaos he’s causing. Nathan manages to be very distracting.

The next morning, Audrey wakes up to find her flat drastically changed (and she’s sleeping on the floor), the Gull is a baitshop and her car is missing. Damn Troubles – as she mutters and grumbles walking into town bare foot and in her pyjamas. Thankfully she sees a passing police car – out of which steps Duke. In uniform. And he doesn’t recognise her or know her.

He takes her into town while Audrey tries to convince him something Haven-y has happened (which he also doesn’t seem to know about) but he’s actually investigating a case of vandalism – something which the old Haven PD never had time for. She sees Vince and Dave and they have the same amnesia and assure her there has never ever been any Trouble in Haven (and are horrified that Audrey’s clothes means Haven has its first homeless person). The Troubles are gone.

Audrey gets checked out in a hospital at Duke’s insistence. Before seeing the doctor she questions Duke no-one has heard of Nathan. The new chief of police in weird Haven is Duke’s father who is, presumably, less murderous. And the doctor is a Dr. Hanson – Nathan; because Nathan’s biological father is Max Hanson, in this reality he was never adopted by chief Wuornos. She quickly adapts everything she’s said so she doesn’t end up in a psych ward. She gets the all clear and Dr. Nathan is called to an emergency. Audrey follows and runs into… William. Who isn’t affected by the amnesia.

William denies he’s done anything (quite the opposite, he finds the new Haven dreadfully boring) but, like Audrey, he is immune to the Troubles. He needs to bring the Troubles back if he wants Audrey to remember the past self in which she is in love with him (see my nifty little recap there?). Audrey isn’t going to help him though, even seeing Nathan with a family – she’s not going to bring the Troubles back and cause all the problems again. William has no such compunction and warns her if he brings the Troubles back he won’t be delicate about it.

And he starts that by going to menace Vince and Dave (who are horrified by Audrey thinking she represents a plague of “bag ladies” coming to their town)

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Season 1, Episode 6: Who's Alice

The White Rabbit has dug his portal to Jafar so he can find someone Alice cares about – and he emerges in London. Old timey London anyway. He asks a witness to this emerging from the ground with an animated bunny the direction to Bethlem – after a moment of stuttering, good manners takes over and the man gives Jafar directions. Followed by Jafar assaulting him for his clothes.

Jafar, newly attired arrives in Bethlem posing as a doctor to consult with Dr. Lydgate – Alice’s doctor. He brings up Alice and Dr. Lydgate claims ignorance and becomes agitated (since he saw a lot when Alice escaped) and he certainly wishes to deny seeing a talking rabbit. Especially when Jafar opens his bag and shows him – the White Rabbit. Poor Dr. Lydgate, he’s tried so hard to deny the impossible. Jafar wants to know everything Dr. Lydgate knows about Alice – and as a man trained to get inside heads, that should be a lot.

In Wonderland, the Red Queen arrives at Jafar’s tower to find everyone gone – the guards, Jafar and the genie. Only the other prisoner remains – she batters him around a bit to get him to talk and he claims that Jafar took Cyrus with him. The Red Queen is no fool, Cyrus’s cage has been cut open, Jafar would have opened the door. Thwarted in his lies, the prisoner resorts to sappiness – Cyrus has the power of True Love! The greatest power of all….. Yeah, I kind of think a 12 gauge could make pretty short work of even the truest love, personally.

Cyrus has climbed down the tower and uses his genie powers to hone in on Alice’s necklace – and heads towards her. Alice, of course, isn’t standing still and is making her way towards the tower though is accosted by two bandits who exposition that she’s heading for the Black Forest before she beats them both up.

We flash back to a year before in Victorian England with Alice returning from Wonderland crying over having lost Cyrus. She is found by a little girl called Millie and her father, who is rather shocked to see her. Shocked to see her alive as well after years of her absence – while she’s been gone he has remarried and Millie is her new little sister.

Present! And Alice enters the Black Forest, walking past numerous warning signs and remarking “seems like an awful waste of wood when one sign would do.” This may be the most perfect line ever and had me cackling for quite a long time afterwards. She comes to a wall of liquid darkness that ripples like water when she touches it – she goes through.

Poor Knave staggers around until he finds someone to borrow water from (he says he’s been stoned, the old man remarks that he has been at the wrong stuff. This episode is really hitting the one liners). He runs into the two bandits Alice just beat up and they direct him towards the Black Forest.

Alice, walking through the Black Forest, grows increasingly more nervous and afraid, surrounded by ominous sounds – until her torch gutters and go outs. But the blackness is pierced by a bright, white light. Think it’s the exit, Alice runs towards it and emerges into a beautiful flowered grove filled with purple scents. There is the Carpenter who tells her she’s in the Borrow Grove. He encourages her to stay in the beautiful grove and bask in the sun – she becomes very confused trying to think of a reason why she shouldn’t. She forgets, drops her sword and is mesmerised by the beautiful grove.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Season 1, Episode 5: Heart of Stone

Starting flashback – the Knave and Red Queen (or Will and Anastasia at this point) all prepared to run off together when Anastasia’s mother arrives disapproving most strongly of her match with a “loser”. She spent her whole life working to help Anastasia climb the social ladder (by marrying well – a nobleman, she doesn’t think Anastasia is princess material) and now she’s going to marry a thief. Her mother tells her that she can’t live on love and if she comes back it will be as a servant.

In the present the Red Queen is messing around near the edge of a precipice and Alice is concerned about the new Statue Knave getting cold and puts a blanket on him. She mopes about not knowing what to do or even where Cyrus is – and the Red Queen appears; she knows where Cyrus is. Alice rejects her help but the Red Queen knows where the genie is and tells Alice to get down off her high horse so they can make a deal. They have a shared problem – Jafar; the Red Queen calls him a means to an end but she needs a way to protect herself from him once she reaches that end.

The Red Queen wants some dust that will protect her from dark magic – a near suicidal quest. Alice gets her that and the Red Queen will show Alice Jafar’s hidden tower – which is shrouded by magic and impossible to find otherwise.

In the Tower, Cyrus’s fellow prisoner is returned to his cell after being forced to drag giant rocks up a staircase (hi, Sisyphus!) who also has something Jafar wants, though he says Jafar will never get it. Cyrus shows the hole in the bottom of his cell he’s carved – today’s the day they escape. The old man is worried about the guards and Jafar’s craftiness but Cyrus is all optimistic and hopeful and no-one deserves to be a prisoner! (What about murderers?). He escapes – and kicks the guard into the pit the cages are suspended over

Flashback to Will and Anastasia, struggling to find food and make a life for themselves in Wonderland. They hear from a passing baker that there’s a ball at the palace – Anastasia wants to go; a bit of fun gatecrashing. Once they “borrow” Anastasia a new dress.

To the present with the Red Queen giving Alice a lift in her carriage to the place the dust is and Alice threatening the Queen. Alice wants to know exactly what the Queen wants but they just go round in circles of wealth not buying everything and everyone comes to Wonderland looking for something (and she snarks at Alice wanting her father’s love)

The Red Queen isn’t the only one who can plot –  Jafar has one of his minions deliver the White Rabbit to him, curious as to why the Rabbit would betray Alice. He’ll sort out the Rabbit’s debt to the Queen if the Rabbit spills everything about Alice and everyone she’s ever loved so Jafar can force her to use more wishes.

The Vampire Diaries, Season 5, Episode 8: Dead Man on Campus

Dr. Maxfield is experimenting on his captured Jesse vampire and feeding him “Augustine blood” (whatever that is). Interesting new development – Augustine blood makes vampires super strong! Either that or he’s just grossly underestimated the strength of an actual vampire and hi bonds are far too weak. Either way, the doc becomes snack food.

To college! Where Bonnie is lampshading how ridiculously huge their dorm room is and excitedly telling her mother all about being in college (and how, y’know, she spent all summer away somewhere even during her dad’s funeral – but let’s move speedily past that). Caroline and Elena arrive with supplies for Bonnie’s welcome party and wave the booze around while Bonnie calls it low key (I so would do the same). After the call ends, Caroline and Elena also fill in the exposition in case you missed last episode – Bonnie is the anchor to the other side, technically a ghost and no longer a witch any more.

They plan to have a massive party to celebrate absolutely everything (and because it has been WEEKS since they last had a big social scene) and quickly recap Bonnie on what’s been happening (though Bonnie has been ghostly stalking them out of sheer boredom and even her afterlife revolving around them) including a reference to the Augustine secret society (Founder’s Council #2)

Oh and they’re not just going to move to another college without a Founder’s Council #2 because… reasons.

Bonnie makes her excuses to go make out with Jeremy – even though Caroline and Elena see through the excuse and find it hilarious and laughable, Bonnie still isn’t massively comfortable parading a relationship with Elena’s baby brother in front of her. Nor does she particularly find Damon’s house ideal to meet either – so it’s in the park where an older woman in borderline hippie-clothes can stare at her like she’s just been poleaxed by a ballistic salmon – but Jeremy doesn’t see her. A ghost? Wouldn’t Jeremy see a ghost? Isn’t that his thing?

Bonnie heads off quickly, making excuses but the old woman follows her and says “I’m ready” and grabs Bonnie’s arm, disappearing. Bonnie collapses in pain – it’s another dead supernatural passing on to the Otherside through her.

Elena, meanwhile, calls Damon to drag him to the party and tries to get Aaron to come as well. Either because she’s extremely pushy and has no concept of when a guy is desperate for her to just leave him alone, or because she has so few friends that this party is going to more deserted than a Miley Cyrus dance school. Elena tells him he’s just pushing people away as he told her at the last party – except she compelled that out of him and then made him forget. Oopsie – quick compulsion including compelling him to come to her party. She also tells Damon to invite Stefan despite him remembering everything and hating them. Stefan isn’t up for a party because he’s having traumatic flashbacks and damaging the furnishings

Bitten Sneak Peak

Bitten will be coming to Syfy on January 13th. We've been a fan of Kelley Armstrong's books, so we're interested in seeing how this adaptation works

Revolution Season Two: Episode Nine: Everyone Says I Love You

Charlie loads a gun and says that she saw an access on the roof.  Charlie, Miles and Rachel discuss going in to save Aaron, Cynthia and Gene, with Rachel saying that they have no choice.  They prepare to move and Miles suddenly stops. When Rachel checks, she sees a field patriot soldiers.  When Miles checks the pulse of one soldier, he discovers that they are not dead, just out cold.  They head to the front door which is ajar and make their way through the building to find more soldiers passed out. Miles wonders if the soldiers were gassed and Rachel wonders where Gene is.  Charlie hunches down to check out some prints and surmises that Aaron was there.  Miles questions if Aaron knocked out 40 guys and then strolls out.  Charlie takes the lead and they follow Aaron's footprints into a room.  They find a big hole in the wall, as some of the soldiers start to regain consciousness.  They decide to leave before they are discovered.

At at the train station, Roger is complaining about having to bring both Neville and Jason on his security detail.  Neville of course claims that he only wants to be of service.  When Roger points out that Jason is an escapee, Neville deftly reminds Roger that he helped him with his little problem. When Roger walks away, Neville informs Jason that they are going to the White House.

Horn is preparing a syringe when he is interrupted by a Patriot soldier informing him that they believe Aaron just walked out through the tunnels. Horn comments that there is no end to the surprises with Aaron.

Charlie, Miles and Rachel are outside the town walls and Miles wonders what the Patriots are doing with a tunnel like that.  Charlie suggests they follow the trail and Miles questions if Aaron is responsible for the foggy day.  Rachel then says that she has to go back and get Gene.  Miles points out that the Patriots are going to be looking for Aaron and adds that can go looking for Gene after they find Aaron.  Miles says that he is totally out of his depth.  Rachel points out that Gene might be dead but Miles argues that if Gene is, he did it to save them so they could save Aaron.  In the distance, they hear a horse neigh and hide in the bushes, as Patriot soldiers go riding by with Horn in a wagon.

Aaron awakes in a high school and sees Cynthia unconscious a few feet away.  Aaron checks for a pulse and then notices that the wound on Cynthia's abdomen has healed.  Aaron questions whether he did this and then suddenly hears a noise.  Aaron stands and moves about the room to investigate and runs into a little boy. The boy claims to live at the school and says that Aaron walked in carrying Cynthia.  Apparently, Aaron has no memory of this.

Monroe is hiding in the woods watching the Patriots.  In another area, Charlie reveals that she has lost Aaron's trail.  Charlie, Rachel and Miles stop walking as three Patriots head towards them. Charlie throws her knife and they manage to subdue a soldier but not before he gets a shot off, warning the other soldiers.  Miles, Charlie and Rachel turn to find a soldier pointing a rifle at them but before they can react, Monroe sneaks up and slits the soldiers throat. Monroe says, "I'm Batman" and they all take off into the woods. Was that supposed to be comic relief? If so, it failed miserably.

On the train, Roger approaches Jason to find out where Neville is. Neville has gone up front to find out why the train is stopping.  Roger retreats and Neville returns.  Neville looks out the window and watches as man kisses Julia, the wife Neville thought was dead.

Aaron has Cynthia's head on his lap and he gives her some water as the boy watches.  Aaron tells the boy that he looks familiar and asks where his parents are.  The boy says that he is from Oklahoma and is looking for his parents. What they don't know is that a Patriot soldier is looking in the window at them.

Horn starts to hear voices and is interrupted by a soldier who suggests that they should wait until the fog lifts and the scouts report.  Horn says no and instructs the man to get back to town and tell Truman to send every man he's got.  Horn adds that he is out of time but does not explain what he means.

The group has returned to Monroe's hiding spot and Miles wants to know what happened.  Monroe replies that he did the best that he could. Miles suggests that Monroe's best sucks. Monroe makes it clear that the reason he saved Miles is his son and demands to know where he is.  Miles shows Monroe his infected arm and Monroe checks and discovers that Miles has a fever.  When Monroe suggests that Miles needs a doctor, Miles points out that he is having a hard time swinging a sword and adds that he needs Monroe. Monroe insists that Miles needs help and that Aaron is not worth dying over. Monroe tells Miles that he has gone soft and says that this is not his problem. Miles tells Monroe that if he doesn't help, he will never help him find his kid.  In the backroom, Rachel talks about how she left things with Gene and says that she needs to talk to him.  Rachel tells Charlie that she loves her. Monroe tells Charlie and Rachel that they should go and find Staypuff. That was a nasty little bit of fat shaming Aaron. 

Six years before the blackout, Miles is dressed in military gear heading into the station when Rachel arrives and questions why he didn't say goodbye. Miles shakes his head no and says that they cannot keep doing this.  Miles says that Ben is his brother and that he is a smart good man, who is better for Rachel.  Miles suggests that Rachel start a family with Ben and be happy.  Rachel questions if this is how he really feels and adds that all he has to do is say that he loves her and she will leave Ben and wait for him. Miles says that he doesn't love Rachel and she tells him that she doesn't believe him.  Miles turns and leaves a teary Rachel behind.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 7: Limbo

There’s apparently a “lunatic” on the loose. So much so that a man is escorting people from a building to the subway or their cars. But one woman doesn’t want to wait for him to come back – to be fair, she can actually see her car. Seriously, she could throw a rock and hit it, so being escorted, say, 50 feet does seem a little silly (or he could escort her first).

Anyway, of course she is accosted on the way – by a man who disappears from one place and appears in another. She tries to pepper spray him and he reflects it back – and teleports away with her.

Stephen wakes up in a hotel room and reaches out telepathically for Cara. Who is in the bathroom and having a massive case of the regrets.

And at HQ, John and Russell are back from their road trip and John has even bought her a present. Feel that guilt churn! She also claims she was in a hotel for “me” time – right before Irene and Tim arrive with news of a breakout to cut the awkward: the man who sexually assaults women. Cara is shocked that one of them can become a rapist and has a bit of a rethink of the whole “homo superior” thing. John points out that their powers make them more powerful, not more moral but Cara seems to have been really invested in the whole idea of them being better people, especially with her history.

                                                                                                                                                                     

They decide to go after the guy because they’re better than Ultra and may get him before another woman is attacked – but they need Ultra’s intel so John suggests Cara contact Stephen. AWKWARDNESS!

At Ultra, we have a new character giving Stephen grief for killing his partners – repeatedly. He says “you’re too young, too green and your partners end up dead” no lies detective – except he missed the part where Stephen is so obviously a double agent that it’s amazing everyone doesn’t burst out laughing at the idea it’s even a secret. Jedikiah interrupts to tell them about the rapist and shockingly is more upset about exposure than women being raped. Stephen is shocked and appalled that his evil uncle is evil despite endless proof of said man’s evil and has a little tantrum. He also adds more angst for killing agents (in the evil organisation that you are supposed to be actively sabotaging, remember Stephen) and Jedikiah gives him time off and reminds him that quitting gets him killed (since Stephen seems to have forgotten the whole evil thing yet again).

John drops in to learn Stephen is being given time off for stress – and Stephen adds that it’s extra stressful keeping his secret identity! I KNOW! He actually believes his being a double agent is still somehow secret?!

At school, Stephen is keeping up his angst marathon about how he breaks everything and Astrid advises him to have a little fun with his powers (and try not to listen to classmates thinking they have crabs). This involves playing basketball and stealing a scene from Teen Wolf (the original movie) where he uses his special powers to make his team win despite being apparently underclassed (the ones supposed to be good athletes appear to be Black men while the lesser athletes are either women or unfit white men – there’s some lazy coding there). Downside is, the coach pushes him to join the team since several of his normal players are out.