Where is the Penis?

With cable TV there is a lot of scope to show things which make the censors clutch at their pearls and stagger helplessly to their fainting couches. We can show mutilated bodies, horrific violence, even flayed bodies. We can show murder, torture, horrendously abused corpses from wall to wall and endless squishy, nasty rotting zombies.

And we can show naked bodies and sexy times. Something some shows have embraced with immense fervour - indeed it wouldn’t be a HBO show if we didn’t regularly see some breasts bouncing their merry way across the screen.

One thing we don’t show very much is a penis. Breasts jiggle from every angle, buttocks clench with regularity and even vaginas are a not uncommon sight to such an extent that such displays are barely worth mentioning- but penises? No those are still a very rare beast worthy of comment and shock when they actually appear on screen

We’ve commented on this unequal representation before and there have been numerous scenes (commented on by others as well) where this has been blatant. The naked, blood stained Lillith leaves nothing to the imagination, but the newly minted Billith gets shy and the camera is careful to keep it from the back or above the waist. Game of Thrones can show fully naked female prostitutes so commonly that they’ve virtually become wallpaper, but when Olyvar has sex with Loras or Oberyn the camera is careful to keep all crotches carefully hidden - and it wasn’t like there wasn’t enough space between the two men at all times to show everything!

Even when, again as another said very well, the coyness of the camera even damages the impact of the storytelling, we still are careful to keep those penises hidden. We see this also with True Blood when a naked and embarrassed Sam always has the full impact of his nudity lessened by careful camera angles - and naked male prisoners kept by the Vampire Authority are generally allowed the dignity of filming above the waist. In scenes meant to emphasise their vulnerability, the camera angle allows some dignity and reservation

Long Night Moon (The Seasons of the Moon #3) by SM Reine

Rylie is almost beginning to learn how to be a werewolf, or so she thinks. Her life is working, so it seems.

Except people are dying – is it the responsibility of the new werewolves in town? And even if it isn’t, can she control her territorial instincts?

And Abel is struggling with his newest werewolf bite from Rylie and it isn’t going so well…

Like the previous books, this book continues the story of Rylie and her development. Rylie the new werewolf trying to find her way even as she seems to have things sorted out at the end of the last book with her and Seth and Abel.

And it doesn’t go to plan

I like that. From book one there has been a sense that Rylie is a special werewolf. Sure she turns into a wolf, sure she has anger issues and sure she doesn’t remember what she does in wolf form, but she’s a special one. Her specialness is relied on repeatedly by Seth to keep him safe and is an underlying theme

Furthermore, contrary to this idea of specialness that has been implied and so pervades this genre, we also have an indication that there are people who may be better at this whole werewolf thing than she is. That there are people who are not only better than she but that they may be able to offer her something. Or, to put it another way, the awesome and powerful figure I know Rylie will become in the future

Rylie predominantly focuses on Bekah of the new werewolves. I’m hoping this means she will play a greater role in future books and may finally be the one woman Rylie’s age who she doesn’t loathe with the fiery passion of molten silver – because it’s about time. Of course, that focus in this book means she DOES focus on her with the fiery passion of molten silver quite unlike her brother (though I do question why she repeatedly thinks of Levi as sick or even rotting).

In terms of storyline, I don’t think there’s much to say because I don’t think there is much in the way of story. People are dying but only Abel really focuses on it and he in a not very coherent fashion. They’re more a backdrop to Rylie’s daily life that both lacks the mundanity of a daily life storyline and lacks the events to set it as other than that. We have mini events, a dance, a therapist visit, Rylie’s constant hostility towards Bekah and her struggle for control and, of course, Aunt Gwyn‘s illness. But an actual storyline? I think it’s lacking, even more than the previous book which left me at times wondering exactly what I was reading, what the point was and generally losing me.

iZombie, Season 1, Episode 7: Maternity Liv

A group of teens by a camp fire get a surprise visit – a pregnant woman in a night gown who staggers to the group and then collapses.

That’ll ruin most parties.

She dies which creates something of a media frenzy (her baby survives) but one reporter is very on point – why does this upper-middle-class dead white lady get so much resources and attention when the poor, possibly living and largely POC kids that Blaine has been eating are not worth police time and resources. Clive’s boss, Lt Suzuki quickly moves on from the question and cuts eyes at Clive.

At the morgue the dead woman, Emily Sparrow, is formally identified by her parents. They blame Emily’s boyfriend, Dylan. Though there’s absolutely no evidence – brain snack time. And to the autopsy (after nagging the security company about the complete lack of security in the morgue to try and keep Blaine out). And Liv is overcome by the new brain’s maternal instincts which Ravi snarks, of course he does (and she leaves, thankfully, rather than make Ravi a sandwich out of worry he hasn’t eaten. Ravi’s facial expressions are worth a show on their own).

Liv goes to visit her mother in the maternity hospital – well visit Emily’s baby, much to her mother’s disappointment. Though she recovers quickly to remind Liv how she wants her to do anything else in life than what she is doing. This sets off a flashback to Emma’s parents locking her up and assaulting her boyfriend.

To Clive to tell him that she thinks Emily’s parents locked her up for 8 months when they found out she was pregnant. But Clive is a member of a task force and not the lead investigator so he doesn’t really get to pick and choose how he investigates this crime. And what Suzuki has chosen him to do is join in the interrogation of Dylan who is not feeling very cheery since everyone has basically accused him from the very beginning. He tells them that Emily hitch-hiked and about some loudly barking dogs which may have been relevant - and his intention to claim custody of his child (Liv has a horrified face).

She expresses her horror to Clive who points out that he is actually the father of the child; Liv is not impressed by this counter. Clive’s day gets worse when Major calls about the missing kids – because he’s working with Rebecca Hinson the journalist with the pointed questions earlier. And now she’s just heard him say something unwise on speakerphone because he thought he was talking to Major – and, seriously Major, who puts their phone on speaker without telling the other caller? Clive is, naturally, furious – but he unfairly applies that anger to Liv.

Liv is indulging her new instincts with Ravi’s test rats and Lowell visits where he and Ravi, both Londoners, bond over football clubs before Ravi tests him for zombie stuff. And Lowell has eaten a scientists so is spouting lots of scientific terminology. Liv is also upset that their kiss goodbye was lacking in any kind of passion or chemistry.

Cover Review 20th April to 24th April

All Hallows' Moon (Seasons of the Moon #2) by SM Reine

...oh. Why?

She’s a disembodied torso. A sexualised torso as well, the pose, the focus - it’s all both unnecessarily sexual in terms of basic appropriation AND it seems like a completely unrelated to the book itself. Romance, sex, these are not the focuses of this book. Even with the wolf, this feels like the cover to a completely different book

Agatha and the Voice of the Castle (Girl Genius #3) by Phil & Kaja Foglio

After many adventures, Agatha has returned to the stronghold of her ancestors, Mechanicsburg, where generations of Heterodynes terrorised the continent. For many long years the people of Mechanicsburg have waited for a Heterodyne heir to return – a town full of minions just waiting for the Master to lead them again

But first she must prove herself in the Castle.  Sentiment, terrifying and immensely powerful structure, terribly damaged for years – few people survive who step within.

To complicate matters there’s a second claimant to her title – and it doesn’t help that Klaus, the Empreror, is convinced she is the Other, a terrible force that could tear his empire apart.

When reviewing books it is always important to remember that there are a lot of different tastes out there. I will look at goodreads and see people who loved books I loathes or hated books I adored, been a little bemused but then shrugged because taste is a weird and wonderful varied thing. I remember this because I try to be mature and sensible

Well, I’m throwing that out the window. If you do not love this book clearly there is something terribly wrong with you, I suspect you may not have a soul. Yes I call soullessness!

It is impossible for me to read more than a chapter of this book without a great big silly grin on my face. I think my face may actually be stuck like that. It’s the same grin from reading the previous two books – this series is just so much immense fun!

I love the sparks. I love these glorious evil geniuses with their brilliant mad science and whacky and terrifying creations! I love how zany and weird and wonderful it is. I love how much it made me laugh out loud over and over again as they do so many things, FOR SCIENCE! Including making exploding coffee THAT WAS PERFECT!

I love how so many of the characters are gloriously evil, and it just works in the most amazing way

I love the Jaegers, they’re immense fun, they’re evil and they’re hilarious and I want one. My only sadness is they don’t appear nearly enough in this book

I love the Castle, the product of generations of devilishly evil Heterodyne Spark masterminds who have designed it and increased it over the centuries to be a font of gleeful evil. I love how Agatha with her morality (occasionally overcome by her SCIENCE) tries to work surrounded by people and minions who are the very height of evil.

The Originals Season 2, Episode Twenty: City Beneath the Sea

Klaus lies in his coffin, as Rebekah and Elijah stand over him.  The crescent moon pack is loading Aidan's body into a truck.  Josh arrives home to find a note from Aidan asking him to call. Davina works on a spell trying to resurrect Kol.  Freya is lost in thought, as Dahlia continues to work on a spell.

Klaus wakes to find himself inside Dahlia's head.  When Klaus checks his chest, he finds that there is no dagger.  Klaus moves to attack, as he asks about Hope but Dahlia moves out of the way.  Dahlia tells Klaus that since Elijah daggered him, he has no choice but to listen to her proposition.  Dahlia takes Klaus back into her memories.

Dahlia and Esther are young women when the Vikings attack.  The two young women hide with Dahlia promising to protect them.  Dahlia and Esther promise to remain together no matter what happens.  A viking grabs Esther and Dahlia uses her magic to free Esther but the vikings attack again and this time, the two sisters are taken. Klaus snarks about vikings slaughtering their entire village.  Dahlia tells Klaus that the two of them can be allies.

Freya is ranting after Elijah has told her that Hope is gone.  Freya is adamant that there is no way to end Dahlia without Hope.  Freya wants to lure Dahlia to a killing ground and Elijah is not at all pleased that Freya is suggesting using Hope as bait now that Klaus has been removed.  Freya demands that Elijah make the right decision for Hope and Elijah points out that if Dahlia does die, then Freya will also be free.  Freya makes it clear that if Hayley does not return with Hope, then she will find them herself.

Marcel has brought Rebekah to the club to sit out the coming fight.  Rebekah is adamant that Elijah needs her but Marcel point out that Elijah cannot keep her and Hope safe. When Rebekah is still resistant, Marcel is forced to point out that she is linked to a group of teenage witches. Rebekah does not want to live like a porcelain doll but says that she has no way to undo the spell.  One of Marcel's vampire henchman brings Vincent in. Rebekah demands to be unlinked from the witches and Vincent says that he can do it but it is going to take some time. Vincent however makes it clear that Rebekah will be doing her own magic because he is through with magic.  Vincent declares that when he is done with this, he is done with all of it because he refuses to be their witch for hire.

Elijah goes to see Cami in response to her numerous calls and she explains that Klaus didn't kill Aidan and why Klaus took the blame.  This revelation however does not inspire Elijah to remove Klaus's dagger because he believes that were he to do so, all of the people who are helping to keep Hope safe would stop doing so.  Cami however objects, saying that Elijah cannot leave Klaus daggered while Hope is in danger.  Elijah believes that Cami is only saying this because of her feelings for Klaus.  Cami questions how long Klaus will be daggered and Elijah makes it clear that he intends to keep Klaus like that until Hope is safe.

Jackson is preparing to bury Aidan when Hayley approaches to say that Elijah called to warn them that Freya is working on a locator spell to find them.  It is then Hayley notices the method of burial Jackson is preparing for Aidan.  Hayley is not pleased because this is how the pack buries traitors. Hayley argues that Aidan was loyal to his pack in the end and that is why he was killed.  Jackson says that they don't have a choice because they have to flee. Hayley however makes it clear that if they expect the wolves to die for Hope, then the wolves need to know that their lives matter. Hayley decides that Aidan is to be taken downriver to receive a true Crescent funeral.

Rebekah waits impatiently as Vincent works on the spell, when Elijah and Cami arrive with dark objects.  Elijah reveals that Klaus's mistrust of Freya was not wrong because Freya wants to use Hope as bait for Dahlia. Elijah however wants to create a decoy now that Hope is cloaked.  Vincent stands to leave, saying that he only agreed to help break Rebekah's spell, only to be stopped by Elijah.  Cami intervenes on Vincent's behalf, offering to call Davina.

Josh is packing up his things when he gets a visit from Marcel, who questions if Josh really wants to pack up and leave. Josh points out that he cannot call his homophobic family and cannot get revenge on Klaus, who is already daggered. Josh adds that even if he could, going after Klaus would be a suicide mission. Josh questions if Marcel is here because he is needed to patrol the city and Marcel responds that he is not here to tell Josh what to do but is in fact there for him.  Josh reveals his plans to leave town with Aidan and how he didn't get to say goodbye.

Klaus is still lying in his coffin.  Inside Dahlia's head, she has taken him to the hovel where she lived during her viking captivity.  Dahlia was forced to perform dark magic so that Esther would be free of viking abuse.  Klaus is not at all impressed, saying that no old suffering will justify Dahlia's desire to enslave Hope.  Esther enters the hovel and Dahlia reveals that she has a plan for them to escape and live forever. It seems however that Esther has different plans now that she is going to marry Michael.  Esther wants to get married and have a family but Dahlia argues that she is Ether's family.  Esther tells Dahlia that they will always be sisters but she wants children of her own and loves Michael.  Dahlia begs Esther to sing their songs but Esther is adamant that she doesn't remember them anymore and storms out, leaving a crying Dahlia on the floor. 

Cami and Rebekah have brought the magical objects to Davina.  Rebekah discovers the dead birds that Davina is using to attempt a resurrection spell for Kol.  Rebekah grabs a golem and talks about Kol's idea to use representational magic.  Davina suggests that they replicate Hope's magic and transfer it into a doll to act as a decoy. 

The wolves continue to move through the woods carrying Aidan.  Jackson talks about walking through the woods when he was cursed in his wolf form.  Jackson talks about how only stepping up to protect the other wolves made him calm.  When Hope starts to cry, Jackson tells Hayley where the hideout is and leaves with a few wolves to establish a perimeter.

Klaus is not impressed that Esther was cruel to Dahlia.  Dahlia says that she is not the villain of the story as her shadow self destroys the hovel.  Klaus tells Dahlia to undagger him and state her deal but Dahlia is not finished showing Klaus images of the past. Dahlia warns that what she still has to show Klaus is not about Esther but about Hope, who will need to be saved.

The Returned, Season 1, Episode 8: Claire

Opening flashback – Claire photographing Peter then swimming with Peter, then kissing Peter then apparently having sex with him while she discusses how her life changed course when she met Jack, giving up her career as a photographer. She talks about her dreams becoming dreams for her children.

So Claire and Peter were having an affair before Camille died and she and Jack separated.

Despite her talk of her dreams changing, when she returns home she seems to visibly steel herself before going in.

In the present we have another reminder with Camille that the Returned are always hungry and Lena comes home. After a tense moment, the sisters hug and Lena cries. Claire watches and seems relieved

The next day, Lena tells Peter, Jack and Claire about Tony trying to hold her prisoner when she found Lucy’s necklace- implying that Tony kidnapped her in the first place. Jack storms off seeking revenge and certainly doesn’t listen to Peter when he tries to stop him (though he does have a territory-marking “that’s not your daughter, not your family” line.) Peter keeps following him

At the cabin Tony and Adam hear the cars coming and Tony tells his returned brother to leave. Jack attacks Tony and only stops when Peter smacks him with a branch – Peter seems rather bored by the whole thing

Back at the Winship house, Camille examines Lena’s wound and it’s reduced to a small, faded scar. Lena puts it down to a physical representation of her survivor’s guilt and it’s all gone because they’re reconciled and together. It’s a good moment to see the sisters together again

Over to Tommy and Rowan’s house as the emergency services cart out the body of Simon who Tommy just murdered. Together Tommy and Rowan lie about what happened to cover up Tommy’s murder.

Tommy decides the best way to commemorate murder cover up is with flowers, while Rowan has thrown out the carpet Simon bled all over. He has a brief moment of panic where he thinks Rowan has hurt herself – but she’s just resting and listening to music. Rowan helps Tommy justify murdering Simon – because Simon was suicidal it’s totally ok to murder him, apparently (and can we add how much worse this is since Rowan herself has tried to kill herself?). Now time for post-murder wedding planning and sex.

At the police station Nikki is doing her own digging – and finds the case in 1986 when Victor and his mother were murdered. With photographs clearly showing Victor. She hurries to Julie’s in the middle of the night to tell her about the zombie child she’s hosting. But Julie doesn’t want to know, she says whatever terrible thing happened to Victor is in the past (and yes we have a whole shed load of projecting here). She’s also decided she has been chosen by fate to take care of Victor.

Salem, Season 2, Episode 4: Book of Shadows

Mary is rather disturbed that she was magically attacked in her own bath as she shares with Tituba. Tituba naturally assumes it’s the same person who killed Corwin – though Mary realises the attacker didn’t want her dead since if they did she would be. She also turns her suspicion on Tituba (and assumes it’s a Hive member attacking her) though Tituba insists she’s always done what was best for Mary (ok that’s a little bit of a stretch). She does point out that she always gave great advice – to kill Mercy and Anne – especially since Anne is becoming a super witch.

Mary, of course, rather ignores her and instead tells Tituba to see the seer Petras for answers.

She finds his body (John killed him) so decides to eat his eyes. Because Salem.

The plague is still ravaging the town and John uses a plague doctor’s mask to go around unnoticed. He releases those locked up under accusations of witchcraft and leaves Corwin’s body in their place. The return of Cotton is much more noticed - he is quickly seen by the new magistrate, Hawthorne. Hawthorne is a not a fan of Cotton and the feeling is mutual.

The drunken Cotton goes on to meet Wainwright who takes a moment to mock the study of pointless theology before belatedly remembering his manners. Once he’s polite he and Cotton can geek about the Royal society – though Cotton is a little sad and mortified to hear everyone thought the evidence he presented of a witch-malformed foetus was supposed to be comic. Poor Cotton though he still insists the disease is a witch pox

Wainwright does tell Cotton that he thinks Isaac was the first person afflicted by the plague (and is duly derisive of Isaac being branded as a fornicator) only to find Isaac missing from his sick room. Isaac has left his stuff behind, including a large sum of gold and the Malum (much to Cotton’s horror). Wainwright isn’t interested in babbling about witches and focuses on developing his inoculation

Isaac is now being held by Mercy as part of her vengeance campaign against Mary. Whatever she has planned for Isaac involves a sharp knife – and makes Dolly cringe and apologise to him. She begs Mercy to stop as she cuts and abuses Isaac, pointing out that Isaac is one of them - one of the abused and abandoned of Salem. Mercy just hits her – she beats her until Isaac begs her to stop.

Meanwhile Mary drags in Anne to an interview to scold her about her uncontrolled magic and make it clear other witches think she should kill Anne. But she offers her training instead – to become an “ally” (or pet) rather than a rabid, uncontrolled animal. The first step of that involves Mary groping Anne while she imagines Cotton doing it. She also gives Anne her Book of Shadows – her own personal grimoire, to be a completely unreadable log of her life while alive and to return to the Coven when she dies. Mary has a full library of the grimoires of Essex witches; and she knew Anne’s father died because his book joined the library.