The Strain, Season 3, Episode 5: Madness

This episode begins with the opening spiel that really should have happened about a season ago – Abraham describing how the Strigoi were now taking over many cities across the world, countries after county desperately struggling (and also Africa. Which. Is. Not. A. Country.). Now we finally have a reason to see this as a global threat rather than a problem confined to just one city

It would also have helped to actually have seen some of the power apparently being thrown uselessly at the vampires.

Vasiliy is continuing the fight against the Strigoi – actually putting tracking devices on vampires to try and track their lairs and see they are continuing to invade the safe zone. Because the vampires are still attacking places Christine thought were safe and she’s getting increasingly frustrated and desperate.

The vampires are digging tunnels which shows a disturbing level of intelligence – and under Central Park there is a huge nest of literally thousands of vampires – Christine decides they have to target this nest. That will definitely go wrong. So very very wrong

What may help is Dutch and Ephraim who are now happily experimenting on strigoi, capturing them, taking them back to the lab and then dissecting them, torturing them and experimenting on them. The way this is depicted is interesting – because Dutch and Ephraim are clearly desensitised (and even damaged, and possibly drunk) to the brutality of what they’ve done. But the brutality is still clear – they even talk about their experiments as torture. The starkness does a lot to show these characters

They do discover ways to try and cut off the communication between the strigoi – which also reduces the vampires to mindless animals which would give them a huge advantage, especially now vampires are showing more and more intelligence. Including the aforementioned tunnelling – and a captured vampire able to pick locks

Venom and Vanilla (The Venom Trilogy) by Shannon Mayer

Though having grown in an extremely religious family, Alena has managed to break away and make a life of her own. While not part of the religious group anymore, Alena still tries to live by some of its tenets. Though she still misses her brother desperately, with her husband by her side and a successful business, things are looking pretty good. Unfortunately, Alena should have listened to her mother's warning about being more humble. When Alena catches a disease associated with the supernatural that kills rapidly, she has to make choice between keeping her soul or becoming evil like the supernaturals she was raised to hate.

Venom and Vanilla is only 240 pages long and it's quite the wild ride.  At no point did the story feel rushed though it was filled with action. If anything, the times it did slow down were the times it felt disconnected. I really didn't need Alena's recitation of her baking recipes or the interlude making baklava.  It's set in a world in which the supernatural in North America are being forced to live beyond the 49 parallel behind walls.  As a Canadian, this had me rolling my eyes just a bit.  I had to admit that given that so much of Mayer's story is set in what would have been Canada, that I was a little bit disappointed not to get a sense of my home.  That being said, I suppose she gave Canada the interesting side of the border.

I started out really feeling for Alena.  Alena is hospitalized and dying, only to be told by her husband just how quickly he plans on moving on with his new girlfriend and what he plans to do with her money. Her husband doesn't even plan to wait until she's dead. Even Alena's struggle to decide whether or not she should allow herself to die or become supernatural really touched me.  At this point she felt real to me. If only Mayer had kept this tone throughout the book. By the time the action starts, Alena's refusal to swear, her ridiculous sayings, as well as her constant second guessing of herself based on her religious upbringing got on my last nerves.  Her constant insistence that she is still married though the government has declared her dead irked me.  It's rare to have a protagonist move from warm and easy to relate to, to downright irritating. It's a vicious pendulum swing.

Fortunately, the world in Venom and Vanilla makes up for Alena's shortcomings.  Mayer's world includes, all manner of supernatural creatures as well as the Greek Pantheon.  Yes, the mythology geek in me had a pretty big squee when all of a sudden I found myself reading about Zeus's marital problems with Hera. I very much appreciate Mayer painting Zeus as the douchebag that he is because in recent incarnations, the modern interpretation of Zeus has been far kinder than he deserves.  I love the idea that heroes and monsters are intrinsically linked and the idea that maybe monsters aren't who we believe them to be. I will however say that though the ending of Alena's battle with Achilles was extremely predictable, I at least enjoyed the battle.

Once Upon a Time, Season 6, Episode 1: The Saviour

Once Upon a Time is back and we begin with a little Aladdin/Jafar scene. I’m torn – part of me wishes that they’d managed to cast Naveen Andrews to make it more consistent with Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. At the same time this Jafar is decidedly yummy

It seems Aladdin is/was a Saviour as well – but he’s helpless, his hands shaking uncontrollably. Jafar taunts him – everyone asks a Saviour for help and the Saviour, naturally, gives and gives – until there’s nothing left

Is it disturbing to hear Jafar paraphrase the Giving Tree? Yes yes it is.

Apparently Jafar believes no Saviour ever has a Happily Ever after

So back to storybrooke where Emma and Killian’s sexy times are interrupted by Killian’s sexiness causing an earthquake (also possible the horror at the idea of Mary Margaret, the soggiest of characters, walking in on them caused the earth to recoil)

Or it could be the giant dirigible, I suppose. Filled with people from Hyde’s land of untold stories, it’s duly ominous. What is more ominous is that Hyde is pretty much immune to everything including Emma and Regina working together

(Awesome line:

Regina: I don’t know how strong I am without my evil half

Emma: Evil didn’t make you strong)

Did I mention how much I love how Emma and Regina bounce off each other.

So Hyde is the big bad and evil and… Jekyll jury-rigs an anti-hyde weapon and some anti-hyde handcuffs. He’s a prisoner now. Well that was anti-climactic. Is he just there to increase the amount of sexiness in the season?

I approve of this if he is. Now bring back the Knave. I know he doesn’t have a storyline, he doesn’t need one – he can just lurk in the corner and look roguish and sad.

Anyway, I digress.

Hyde is duly imprisoned but Emma is concerned – her hands have started shaking and she starts to have visions of her fighting someone. Her symptoms are looking a lot like Aladdin’s. While she absolutely refuses to talk to her knowledgeable, magically experienced and loving friends and family about this (even being reluctant when Archie shows up for therapy) and instead decides to question evil Hyde who makes Cryptic Comments and totally doesn’t have an ulterior motive.

Really Emma? You’re better than this. Or should be.

The Vow by Laura Daleo

Claire Matthews has returned home from college to spend the summer with her family.  It's supposed to be a great time in her life but when she lands at the airport, her usually punctual parents aren't there. Claire takes a cab to her childhood home only to find police swarming all over the place. Though Claire prays desperately that her parents and her little brother are fine, it doesn't look good. When Claire learns that her brother is missing and that her parents are indeed dead from an apparent vampire attack, despite the vow which hundreds of years ago ended vampires hunting humans, Claire is determined to find her parents killer and her missing brother.  The investigation will see her team up with a vampire as she negotiates the vampire world for the first time.

I had my doubts about The Vow from the first page.  To be clear, dead parents are absolutely a trope in this genre and in this case, both of Claire's parents are found murdered at the beginning of the book, making it far from an auspicious start. It also didn't help that Claire was absolutely alone in the world. How is it that she grew up in that home and didn't have a single friend to turn to? Did they all just disappear when she left for college? I understand that the purpose is to further isolate Claire but it really doesn't feel believable to me. However, Daleo did a good job portraying Claire's pain viewing her parents bodies and her fear that her brother might also be dead.

Where Daleo loses me is Claire's hunt for her parents killers.  Claire actually accuses the first vampire she sees with nothing to base her accusation on.  She casually decides that said vampire is shifty because he won't submit to interrogation by her and leaves at the first opportunity. Daleo then doubles down by having Claire volunteer at a vampire center (read: feeding area) and then interrogate random vampires coming in for nourishment.  She ends up agreeing to meet with not one but two vampires and of course it ends badly.  If that is not enough, a vampire priest sends her on a wild goose chase which turns out to be a trap and then Claire follows up on this faulty lead by disturbing a vampire in its lair during day sleep.  I quickly found myself wondering how it is that Claire is still alive. Sure, her vampire boyfriend and the police are there to pull her ass out of the fire but at some point she should have learned that simply walking off to meet vampires in isolated locations is not a good idea. Daleo attempts to explain Claire's repeated stupidity by employing Claire's grief over her parents death and fear for her missing brother as justification.  In the end, Claire simply comes across as a bimbo, making me wonder how she got into college in the first place?

Despite all of the focus on Claire's vampire hunt and her family legacy of vampire hunting, I don't feel like I really know who she is. It doesn't help that we are continually reminded just how beautiful Claire is and that her blonde hair and blue eyes practically make her vampire catnip.  It makes me wonder if this is intentional, so that the reader can place themselves in Claire's position? The problem however is then magnified because Daleo employs this tactic with all of the other characters in the book.  Neither Daniels (the investigating cop) or Conner (the vampire boyfriend) feel at all real to me either. I'm going to chalk this up to the very limited character development in this story.

Fear The Walking Dead, Season Two, Episode Thirteen: Date of Death

Just as the ending scene from last week promised, this week's Fear the Walking Dead told us the story of Travis and Chris after leaving Madison and Alicia. With the two hour season finale coming next week, it's clear that the writers are putting the characters into position to finish off the season.  I highly suspect that we will see the end of the Colonia and have everyone reunited at last.

Madison turned on the hotel light hoping to attract her ne'er-do-well son and just as Alicia pointed out, anyone could see the the sign lit up.  We saw Travis see the sign and start to head in the direction but so did many other people.  They all end up upside the hotel gates begging to get in while the hotel residents deny them entry and offer apologies.  It's only when Madison spies Travis that they open the gate long enough for him to enter.

Travis has clearly been affected by his time with Chris and bluntly rejects Madison's offer for food and a hot shower.   On one hand, Travis is thankful to be reunited with his wife but on the other, this means now he must relate what he believes to be his biggest failure - losing his douchebag son.

When we last saw Chris and Travis, James had been shot by the farmer as a result of the dudebros thinking that they could just come along and take the farmer's chickens.  Having been taught some first aid, Travis gets to work sewing up James's bullet wound as James screams in pain.  Chris takes a moment with Travis to talk about what happened and it's quickly clear that father and son are not on the same page.  Chris is still certain that they need the dudebros and points out that with Travis's quick thinking in helping James, this has moved Travis up a notch in the estimation of the dudebros. Travis however is not the least bit interested in playing hero to the group of douches.

Travis keeps checking in on James's pain level and James lies claiming to be fine when he clearly is not.  After eating all of the chickens, though Travis warned that should have only eaten the eggs, the dudebros decide that it's time to move on.  Even though Travis has warned them that there's nothing in the U.S., they are determined to see it for themselves.  Travis tries to call in Chris for backup to agree with what he has said; however, Chris claims that they didn't see it all.  Travis then brings up James, whom he believes in not ready to travel but James, acting in fear claims that he will be just fine.

Travis looks through the house and finds the driver's licence of the man that Creepy Chris killed. Travis carves a date of birth and death on a marker for his grave, much to the irritation of Chris who just wants to get going with the dudebros.  Chris makes it clear that his father doesn't fit in (ya think) and suggests that Travis start playing the game.  Travis however still isn't having it.

They manage to get James in the back of the truck and Chris and Travis ride back with him.  The moment the truck starts moving, James begins to show signs of pain.  James begs Travis not to stop the truck but when James passes out after only driving a few feet away from the farm, Travis is forced to get a very unimpressed Brandon to stop the truck.

Z Nation, Season Three, Episode Two: A New Mission

Last week we had a flashback episode to introduce a new antagonist.  It didn't really feel like a season opener to me at all.  Though this is the second episode of the season, to me it's episode one because we finally caught up with our hardy band of survivors. 

At the end of season two, we were left with a bunch of questions.  What's going to happen to Citizen Z now that he is has left the base?  Did Murphy and 10K get blown up with the submarine.  Finally, what's up with Warren and company? This episode answered all three questions and set about giving us a direction for season three.

Let's begin with Murphy and 10K, who did indeed survive.  After finding out about Zona's mission to save the top 1%, Murphy comes up with a new plan - hybrids.  This works for him because with his power he would be able to control everyone.  Murphy firmly believes that humanity has come to an end and that the world will be populated by those who are part zombie and part human, with him of course as the leader.  There is no visible mark on 10K unlike those who Murphy has taken hostage from the sub but he seems pretty content to do exactly what Murphy wants him to do.  Even when Murphy refuses to go and look for Roberta and company, 10K is along for the ride.

Murphy's big goal is to get out of there as quickly as possible.  Along their travels, they come across a herd of zombies who are attempting to feed on each other because there are not enough humans left. To Murphy this represents the way the world is now and yet another sign that his hybrid plan is the only way to move forward.  Two zombies fall off the pile of rolling zombies and Murphy orders 10K to take them out which he duly does.  This is when Murphy notices that 10K has stopped counting his kills. 

Up North we have Citizen Z, who as aforementioned walked away from the base.  He was saved by an Indigenous woman who takes him back to her home. Once there, because he's almost frozen, she gets naked into bed with him and they sleep.  Citizen Z is actually out for two days.  When he awakes, he finds that Kaya, the woman who saved him is a fan of his show.  Her deadpan delivery is priceless. Citizen Z learns that because the area wasn't extremely populated, the risk of zombies is low.  He sits back with Kaya, her grandfather and grandmother and enjoys the view of the Aurora Borealis.

Warren and the gang are captured by the Chinese.  It seems that the forces of Asia holed up behind the walls of the Imperial City.  Asia was not spared the apocalypse and so they pooled all of their resources to gather a team to collect Murphy's blood.  It's Doc who points out that even when Murphy isn't with them, he's causing them trouble.  Sun takes a sample of the team's blood hoping that even without Murphy they might provide some key to their survival. 

The team quickly becomes impressed with the tools that Sun and her people have brought to the fight.  When a zombie moves to take out Sun, it's Warren and Hector to the rescue.  Sun is touched by the fact that Warren gives the zombie mercy. Warren explains that they do it to retain their humanity and for the sake of the human that the zombie once was.  It's really a touching moment and reminds us that yes, Z Nation can be serious. This is enough for Sun to order the return of Warren and Co's weapons.

The goal is now to get to the supplies that the Chinese dropped but unfortunately, they aren't the only ones anxious to get to the supplies.  After a run in with the Enders, Sun is the only one left.  She's given no choice but to give mercy to a team member that she cared for. Sun is ready to give up on her mission and talks about the fact that she feels that she let her people down.  Warren assures her that they can work together as long as Sun promises that the cure won't only be for the Chinese but for everyone.  The plan now is to team up to get Murphy.

Van Helsing, Season 1, Episode 2: Seen You

Ok, it has to be said that the first episode didn’t exactly impress me. Of course, if Vanessa were to stab Axel or a vampire eat him or something we could be making some supreme improvement.

We don’t get that but I am left with a serious question:

Why wasn’t this episode first? Seriously this episode has all the world building, it introduces the main cast – it does everything the first episode should have done. Whhhhhyyyyy wasn’t it first? This would have made the series much more… approachable

Anyway back in 2016 to a backdrop of a smaller volcano in Yellowstone erupting and scattering the US with ash, we follow Vanessa and her daughter Dylan. Vanessa is clearly pretty poor, she lives in a ratty apartment, her best friend and neighbour is Sarah, a sex worker being abused by her pimp (until Vanessa beats him thoroughly proving she’s always been kind of badass). Vanessa sells her blood to try and buy her daughter a birthday present

Poor Dylan is not only embarrassed by her mother dishing out violence to violent pimps (really, c’mon Dylan your mother is awesome) but also has to deal with her estranged dad who hasn’t sent a present and is skipping out of seeing her so he can hook up, apparently.

The blood that Vanessa donated ended up in the hands of a vampire lurking in the basement

- Ok, can we go back to look at the feral vampires in the first episode? Because if they exist at this time how could they possibly hide from humanity. And if they don’t exist then what happened?

Anyway, the vampire dips into the blood himself and takes the rest to ridiculous creepy vampire boss Dmitri along with his minion Rebecca. This villain is terrible – he is such a caricature, I can barely understand him because he mutters and mumbles everything, occasionally drops into Russian and feels the need to ramble on about philosophy and ruling the night and utter nonsense. Honestly he’s comic. Said boss vampire realises Vanessa’s blood has turned his minion human – and quickly dispatches a vampire to go collect/kill/whatever her

This leads to a brutal, vicious fight in Vanessa’s flat with the vampire attacking her, being stabbed, but eventually overwhelming her…and biting her. The scene is utterly brutal, especially since Dylan witnesses all of it

You’d think Dmitri would have warned his minion against drinking her blood

Vanessa is taking to the morgue where she is examined by Doc Sarah – yes, Doc from the first episode who is a vampire. She quickly notices that something is up, what with Vanessa being dead yet having surprising living symptoms. She tells her sister Grace who is some kind of bigwig and declares everything classified: and causes the military to swoop in to claim the body

Van Helsing, Season 1, Episode 1: Help Me

The first episode of Van Helsing aaaand…. Hmmm… yes… hmmm

My first “hmm” actually comes from the fact Syfy has provided us a huge guide on how the apocalypse happened, the different kinds of vampires et al

Which is nice? I mean guides like this are great on, say, Defiance which is bringing two different media (TV and computer games) together or on Game of Thrones which has been running forever and built so many many plot lines

But if your new show requires a wikia? That kind of suggests “hey we suck at world building communication. Go do your homework”.

Then we have the fake lead in – where we start with the action half way through the episode: Vanessa Helsing being attacked by vampires as she lays comatose and having a nifty, but seemingly excessively gory fight scene.

Before cutting to “36 hours earlier”

I hate this trick, I hate this a lot in any episode – but if you’re doing it in the pilot, you’re virtually announcing that the first half of the very first episode has absolutely nothing to convince a watcher to keep watching. This doesn’t bode well

To the actual episode we get a nice little text lead in – it’s 2019. 3 years since “The Rising” began and civilisation has fallen

Wait wait… that’s 3 years from now… zomg it’s a dystopian world where Donald Trump won!

Vampires rule the streets… ah, not Donald Trump supports. Don’t worry guys, it’s not as bad as that! We also have a human saviour, y’know, conveniently labelled in case you don’t get it from the first episode (honestly it’s not exactly subtle. Actually, the whole dystopia isn’t exactly hard to see either – this show does love to beat you about the head with things to make sure you get it).

So to the ACTUAL beginning of the episode – we’re introduced to Vanessa in a secure hospital place where she has been snoozing for a very very long time. She is guarded by Axel, a marine who is all on his lonesome except for Doc, who is now a vampire so he keeps her locked up and feeds her blood. Doc and Axel apparently had a thing. I’m going to need someone to address this character rather than have her stuck in a cage making animalistic growling noises.

He is finally joined when one of his fellow marines returns, Ted, bringing a whole posse of survivors with him who all join them in the bunker after a fight against raging vampire-zombies (honestly at this stage vampire/zombie is fairly interchangeable. Bites infect, the vampires are “feral” so pretty mindless).

There’s a gazillion of these people, most of whose names I don’t remember and I imagine will die over the next few episodes – ablative extras. The ones to note:

Sam, a deaf man (which is very unusual in a post-apocalyptic scenarios to see any disability) and Mohamad a Black man. While neither of these are developed characters, they quickly support Axel during conflicts so will probably continue as Important Sidekicks

We have John who repeatedly fights with Axel because his wife was left outside and he’d kind of like to go out there and save her and Axel won’t let him.

There’s also Dead Lady, Cynthia (who gets upset over dead lady) and Nicole (who is generally hostile)

We have a fair bit of everyone sniping because Axel has all the diplomacy skills of a bull running at Pamplona and keeps pointing guns at people while the survivors have a couple of people who are just arsey for funsies and don’t really like Doc the vampire not being properly murdered.

There’s also Ted wandering around acting like Axel’s best friend in a totally not suspicious way. Oh and Vanessa is still unconscious as she has been for several months for reasons.