Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Secret Circle, Season 1, Episode 12: Witness

So we pick up where we left last week with Jake (evil Sexy one who is a witch hunter. Yes I have to keep repeating that because Cassie keeps forgetting) interrupting Cassie (the Special One) and Adam (the Wet Lettuce) almost almost doing something about their angst laden sexual tension that has been building for a gazillion episodes (of which I am amazingly uninterested. Magic now, teen hormones later). And Jake is here to look after Cassie – because the Witch Hunters know she has dark magic (because he told them)  and now she is in danger (because of him) and they have a special special ritual to kill dark wizards! And it’s what they used 16 years ago to DUM DUM DUM kill Cassie’s father. And then we ask… was it this that killed all the circle’s parents?

There follows Adam and Jake having a testosterone battle which breaks up – and lo, Cassie still trusts Jake because he cares for her. Because he has given her so many reasons to trust him, right? Cassie, stop making me agree with the Wet Lettuce, it’s embarrassing. But, no, Cassie decides she needs to go have tense sexy times – I mean, a solo meeting with Jake (that would be he who helped the witch hunters, in case you’ve forgotten like Cassie clearly has).  But he can help her – because he knows what happened that night when their parents died – because he was there! Yes as a small child! And he just remembered – yes he was suppressing the memory but he just remembered, just as it was needed. And of course, Cassie’s specialness will allow her to see the full memory! (I don’t know what’s more depressing here. 1) that Jake actually expects Cassie to believe that convoluted crap, 2) that she DOES believe it or 3) that the writers expect US to believe it).

Of course, we can’t have this convoluted plot can’t go ahead without Adam Wet Lettuce also being present for some relationship angst. And we have another depressing moment – Adam points out how ridiculous it all is, but of course it’s because he’s jealous of Jake! And not because the whole thing is an offence to common sense. It’s sad that he’s saying it’s ridiculous and HE will be the wrong one! Don’t worry the only risk is if the mind disconnects from what’s real – oh how I laugh, like any of these characters are grounded in reality? Diana thinks it’s all a splendid idea and wants the whole circle to gather for experimental dangerous spellcasting! Such fun! Hey, there’s only one bar in this town, there’s not a lot to do on a weekend. Sadly Melissa is still stuck in her plot hole (hello? Has anyone seen Melissa? Hello?) and Faye is busy doing her own thing (more on that later).
So the spell is cast and Cassie and Jake go back into the memory. Jake gets a headache so Cassie must go forwards alone. Yes because she’s sensible like that.

We learn that there was a push for a truce between the circle and the witch hunters (such a great idea!) and lo, that’s not actually a good idea! Yes the witch hunters arrive and make with the stabbing (oh look, Black villain. Why am I not surprised) and killed all their parents with knives. All of the parents who trusted the witch hunters and their truce were murdered. Before burning John  Blackwell (Cassie’s dad) with fire and a ritual which goes horribly wrong because John is a mite more powerful and turns the fire against the witch hunters – and yes, it looks like John Blackwell is still alive.

Jake learns that actually it was the witch hunters who started to fire and killed them all. Witch hunters actually killed witches! He must be shocked, shocked. And Adam learns that Ethan was on the boat but got out in time – his father was there. Cassie hangs around and gets her father’s super dark magic amulet she is now safe from whatever ritual the witch hunters use. Then we wrap up with more angst and some grave digging to see if Cassie’s dad really is dead – surprise surprise, he isn’t.

Evil Parents Dawn and Charles are still on the outs with each other since Dawn tried to kill Charles’ mother. Charles is considerably upset and believes Dawn is playing her own game – so there is much pouting. Dawn continues her plotting by trying to drag Ethan (that’s Adam’s dad) into her web – lying about him to Ethan to get him on side. She’s using Ethan to steal Charles’ crystal (which was important waaaay back in the day when this plot line was moving). Ethan decides the best way to do that is to call Charles and threaten him with the Elders.

Charles to come hunting Ethan and Ethan to smack him round the back of the head. Ethan takes the crystal and believes Charles is the one who murdered Henry; he gets to use the nice drowning spell now and Ethan now controls the crystal – and isn’t willing to give it to Dawn.

And while we’re on rather pointless plot lines, Faye is with Lee, her white voodoo guy and gets to meet Callum who is unpleasant and… well, actually that’s about it. He shows up to be unpleasant. Oh and it turns out Lee was a drug dealer and Callum was his co-worker – and Callum wants Lee to get more special drugs leaving Callum alone with Faye and a big knife. Oh and Faye is interested in a drug that “gives you super powers.”

Melissa… well she’s in a plot hole. We had one brief appearance of a black villain so that clearly filled our POC appearance for the week.

Ok, looking at this episode I just have to say:

Holy retcon batman!!!

Remember how the elders stripped the parents of their power because it caused the dreadful events of that night? This is the entire reason why Charles and Diana are running around with crystals! Actually no, it was the witch hunters – which every surviving parent KNEW they were dealing with.
Remember when such abuse of powers was considered so worrisome when the kids bound their circle because history may be repeating itself? In fact, wasn’t Heather supposed to have been there? Well, no, it was all the witch hunters.

Remember when it was all about the demons that the old circle summoned foolishly that lead to their demise? No, it was the witch hunters!

In one flash back scene we’ve rendered a good solid chunk of the canon irrelevant, has undermined the very premise of much of the story and made the motivations and actions of several characters ridiculous – the elder binding makes no sense, Evil Parents storyline is similarly dubious. The mysterious deaths don’t even make sense! What’s so mysterious? They went to make a truce with the witch hunters and were massacred. The surviving parents knew where they were going, who they were meeting with and why – and the only reason THEY weren’t there was because they DIDN’T trust the witch hunters. How are these deaths suspicious? How does Ethan, Amelia, Charles, Dawn and Absent Melissa Parent not ALL know EXACTLY what happened that night (or at least be able to make a pretty damn good guess). And were none of the bodies found? The ship didn’t sink! Didn’t any forensics show the great big knife wounds on at least ONE of the bodies? Or report the many witch hunters who ALSO died in the fire? And for that matter, the division makes no freaking sense. If you have 6 couples and those who trusted the witch hunters went – what are the chances that 5 of those couples would split down the middle – these are apparently established, stable relationships with children yet 5 of them split up over the truce? Not, say, 3 couples trusting them and 3 being suspicious?

For that matter, why have they even kept the kids ignorant of their magical heritage? It made sense when it was a case of them not abusing their powers – but the circle was killed by witch hunters! Robbing them of their magical knowledge merely made them more helpless when the hunters arrived. And you can’t even argue that if they didn’t practice the witch hunters wouldn’t care – because the parents who were killed were those who AGREED a truce based on NOT PRACTICING MAGIC!

Something major better happen in the next few episodes to make this remotely sensible again.