Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Almighty Johnsons Season One, Episode Ten: Like Jesus, Only Cooler

At the hospital, Axl feels responsible for what happened to Zeb.  He sees Ty in the hallway and he stops  him to tell him that Zeb is in the hospital because he broke the rules and told him that he is a God.  When Axl sees the flowers, he realises that something must be wrong with Dawn.  Ty is not very sympathetic and believes that he is suffering more because he loves Dawn more than life itself. 

When Axl and Gaia go and visit Zeb, he is covered in bruises and worried that he looks like a freak.  Ty goes to visit Dawn and tells her that Axl is getting married and that they cannot see each other anymore.  He tells her that it's not her but him.

Back at the flat, Gaia is treating Axl's burns.  He tells her that most of her patient must be in love with her and then he admits that he loves her.  When she asks why he didn't say so before, he responds that he was afraid of ruining things between them.  Gaia points out that it's a bit late, but Axl says that he would change everything to be with her and they share a kiss and end up making love. 

At Mike's, Valarie  learns about Ty and Dawn breaking up and of course she believes that Ty is a monster.  Valarie says that she has to take Rob to the doctor but will talk with Dawn later.  

Anders, he is not impressed with what Ty has done because he feels that Dawn will be difficult to live with now.  When Axl walks in and sees the fight between Ty and Anders, he says he will talk to them later.  A minute later, Dawn walks in and hands Ty back the gift basket and flowers he sent her, saying that when you dump someone, you don't give mixed messages like that before storming out, complaining of being cold.

After Dawn leaves, Axl announces that he is not going to marry Eva.  Mike points out that yesterday he seemed determined to go down the marriage path. Axl says that there is someone else now and Olaf points out that she intriguingly, Gaia has a goddess name.  Anders however believes that this is simple jitters. In the car, Mike asks again if Axl is in love with Gaia and if he has told Eva.  Mike wants to know if Zeb hadn't gone up in smoke, if something would have happened between them.  Axl says probably not but this feels right.  Mike tells Axl not to worry about any quest, or his brothers and to do what makes him happy.

Anders is dressed in a tux flirting on the phone with Michele.  (This man is so damn hot.)  Back at the hospital, Axl is visiting Zeb and he admits that he is thinking of skipping the event because of what happened with Zeb. Zeb believes that what happened was his fault and tells him that when he is Odin he can kick their asses.  He asks for Axl to put his hands on his eyes and points out that if he were the proper Odin, magic would have happened and he would have been healed.

Mike is getting dressed and Valarie ties his tie.  She tells him that she went to the doctors and Rob came with her.  It seems that Valarie is six weeks pregnant.  Mike does the math and realises that it is not his because they have not made love since Rob came to say.  Valarie admits that she slept with Rob on the road trip that they took and that she still loves him.  Rather than deal with what she told him, he says he has to go. Gotta point out that this woman has some nerve judging Ty when she was cheating on her husband. 

When Gaia walks in, Axl is dressed to go and she is curious to know if this is about his wedding. He says that there is some stuff he has to deal with. Gaia asks if he wants to write off what went on between them.  She is fine she says because she does not do affairs.  Axl promises to make everything right and Gaia says that she is going to talk to her boyfriend Jacob.

When Axl enters, Anders wants to know how his talk with Mike went.  Ty asks when Axl becomes a true God, if he can take away his God powers. When Eva walks in, she makes an instant connection with Ty.  Loki makes a toast in old norse and behind him Agnetha walks in.  The Johnsons are extremely curious about her. Before Axl can tell Eva that it's over, Colin promises the future couple a BMW and a strip of land on Omaha beach, to build a beach front abode and announces any duties he has regarding his daughter are cut.  Eva does not take that well.  Outside, the Johnsons brothers are talking about the dowry as they share a spliff.  When they return to the party, Eva is hacking at the roasted pig.

Anders takes Michele aside to ask about Agnetha and she tells him that Agnetha is Freyja - Goddess of prosperity. Over the pig, Eva notices Ty staring a her and asks him what his problem is. Ty asks if she loves Axl and she tells him that she doesn't need to love him and that love has nothing to do with the deal going down here. He tells her that this "sounds deeply fucking wrong coming from the goddess of marriage".  When Eva tells Ty that marriage and love are not the same thing, Ty responds that if she does not love Axl, not to marry him. They start arguing and Eva pulls a knife on him. Mike pulls Ty away and Axl grabs Eva.  Olaf and Ingrid rush over to the table where Eva and Ty were fighting and realise that all the food has instantly rotted. 

Outside, Eva is screaming mad and calls Ty an asshole.  Axl says that Ty is right and though he likes her, he loves someone else.  Inside, Michele and Anders are flirting again.  In the corner, Ty apologizes but says that from he moment Eva came in the room, he felt compelled to have a crack at her.

When Axl and Eva enter the room, Axl announces that the wedding is off.  Colin asks if he is sure because of the penalty clause.  Apparently, if the marriage contract is broken, then a life is forfeit, which means that Mike dies as guarantor. Didn't I say that Loki is not to be trusted? Ingrid mentions that no one said that and Agnetha looks down.  Anders says that no one knew and Colin says that they should have asked for the contract in English because he assumed they could read rune. Apparently, Mike will just die in 14 days if Axl does not go through with the marriage. Anders tells Axl that he has to marry Eva for the sake of Mike and Olaf asks, if it matters that she is not the frigg.

Ingrid tells the rest of the goddess that Eva is not Frigg.  Olaf points out that all of the flowers died and Ingrid tells the Goddesses that the food decayed. Ingrid tells Eva that she is Hel - goddesses of the underworld, ruler of the dead. You know, this makes perfect sense given her dark clothing and emo music career.

Mike calls Colin to tell him that Eva is not Frigg but Hel.  Colin claims that it all makes sense. Mike tries to argue that the contract is null and void, but Colin says that the contract stated that a God from the Johnson family would marry a Goddess of Colin's family and nowhere did it state that it had to be Frigg. When Mike asks why he is doing this, Colin says he's Loki.  Anders suggest that Axl marry Eva and keep looking for Frigg, but Mike points out that it would not be a good idea to cheat on the goddesses of death. Anders then suggests they marry and then have a quickie divorce, but apparently that won't work out.  Mike tells Axl to with his heart and so Axl asks if he wants to die and points out that he has Valarie.  Mike responds that Valarie left him for Rob.

Anders and Michele share a drink and Michele suggests that Mike marry Eva and they can be back where they started. Anders asks, "What do you mean we?" before walking away.

At his flat, Mike is sleeping on Axl's couch and Axl says that he is going to marry Eva and make things right.  Mike tells Axl that he is not going to marry the goddesses of death.

The next day Dawn is speed walking and Ty sneaks up on her.  He tells her that there is someone else and that means that they can never be together.  He says that now she has something concrete to be angry with him for.  

The next morning, Gaia asks about last night and Axl tells her that it was kind of out there.  She wants to know why he doesn't seem totally into her.  When Axl says that it's complicated and that he has no choice but to marry Eva, she wants to know if she was a pathetic excuse to get out of it. When Axl again asserts that he cannot tell her, she leaves the room slamming the door.

At his house, Mike tells Valarie that he is going to get a few things and leave.  He says that there is only one of him and three of them and that is why he should leave. When Rob points out that for hi, this was just picking up where he left off, Mike losses his temper and punches Rob right in the face and then he gets a call from Ty.

Axl visits Zeb and learns that he can see and then gets a call from Ty.  Ty, Axl, Mike and Anders all show up Colin's.  Ty tells him that he has been studying the contract and that he is right, it does not say which God will marry Eva.  Ty announces that he will marry Eva and that she agreed to it. Ty throws the marriage license on the desk and tells Colin that he is more than welcome to attend. Colin is clearly frustrated and simply says, 'you may leave."  Outside, Mike wants to know how Ty managed that.  

We learn that Ty went to see Eva and told her that she knew the moment she saw him that they were meant to be together until one of them dies.  Mike says that he doesn't have to do this and Ty responds, as Axl has his fate, I have mine. Apparntly, Ty is sporting a new Black eye because Eva punched him during sex.

Axl rushes home to tell Gaia that everything is sorted out but she is there with her boyfriend and plans to head home. 

The wedding is a somber affair, with both Ty and Eva dressed in black. Ty and Eva leave and Axl worries that Eva will kill Ty and that things need to be put to rights.  Mike says he agrees and since he is Ullr, the god of games, he will make it right. Finally, we are going to say good bye to the grumpy downer Mike.

When Axl returns home, he watches as Gaia grabs her things and moves out.

Anders brings a bottle vodka to Agnetha and points out that he knows that she has been employing his services for awhile with a shell company. He tells her that he does not have a problem with age, if that is what she is worried about, and she responds that she is more worried about the fact that she is his mother.  I think that is the only time Anders has ever been speechless.