Monday, August 27, 2012

True Blood, Season 5, Episode 12: Save Yourself

The fae are blasting Russell but it is not effecting him.  Before he can kill them, Eric grabs Russel and places a steak to his chest.  Before Eric can act the light bursts through Russel's pours and he melts away.  What an anti-climactic way to get rid of Russel.  What was the point of bringing him back to have him die this way?  It makes absolutely no sense to me. Nora shows up and smells Sookie's special fae blood and of course wants to feed on her, but Eric stops her from feeding on Sookie.  Eric forces Nora to swear on godric that he won't feed on Sookie.  Jason is passed out on the ground and when Sookie tries to wake him, he confuses her with their mother.

At the compound, a naked Sam is brought in to see Bill, who  is shocked and asks for Sam to be ungagged. Sam tries telling Bill about Luna, but it is clear Bill is not interested in hearing what Sam has to say so Sam turns into a fly and escapes.  I was actually amused to see Bill the vampire hopping all over the place trying to catch the fly that Sam had turned into.

When Eric shows up at Fangtasia, Tara tells them that the authority have got Pam.  Nora is not the least bit impressed and so Eric says that Tara and Pam are both family and are to be treated appropriately.  The three show up at Sookie's to ask her to go to the vampire authority to pick up Bill, Jessica, and Pam.  Jason is not impressed and says that she should "tell all the fangers to go back to hell."  Eric believes that Sookie is the only one who can through to Bill and Tara repeatedly reminds her that she owes Pam.  I guess that this should have been the hint that Tara has feelings for Pam. Jason agrees to go because he can hear the ghost of his father whispering in his ear.

At the compound, Bill sends the guards on a mission to kill anything that moves. Bill admits to Salome that he killed the counselor and then further lies and says that Lilith actually chose her.  Back in the cages, Sam tells Luna that Bill has lost his mind and that there are surveillance cameras everywhere.  Sam instructs Luna to shift if they come for her but Luna says that she is not leaving Emma.

In another cell, Jessica tells Pam that Eric and Bill are religious fanatics.  Pam does not believe it and says that Bill is always looking for something to be guilty about. Pam says that the worst thing about being immortal is having to watch the same thing over and over.  When Jessica brings up Sookie, Pam says. "must all things lead to Sookie?" That right there without doubt is the line of the night.

Martha shows up with Alcide's lover, who has been force fed V.  It seems that J.D. did this to the whole pack and attacked some of the younger girls.  Herveaux Sr. suggests that Alcide amp up on V and take on JD.

Jason and Sookie go to load up on weapons and she tries to tell him that the vampires are their friends. The entire time Sookie is talking, Jason is hallucinating their parents.   At Merlott's, Lafayette is handing out margaritas and dancing. Andy shows up with Marella to talk to Holly. Holly is not impressed that Andy cheated and Marella starts to groan in pain, as light shoots out between her legs.

On the way to the authority compound, Jason points out that they keep falling for people who are unavailable. In the background their father says to Jason, "vampers made you orphans."    At Merlott's, Holly is acting is midwife to Marella, who is pratically orgasmic on the pool table. Marella has a girl, raises her legs and the moaning starts again. 

In the compound, Newlin shows up with a leash for Emma, crying and shaking. Talking to Chelsea about taking Emma out, she realises that Steve doesn't have a southern accent anymore. Clearly this is Luna masquerading as Newlin and Sam is the fly in the elevator.

Marella gives birth to four girls  and tells Andy to take good care of them and leaves the bar.  She tells him that he sired them and that it is now his duty to make sure that half of them make it to adulthood. He smiles at Holly who simply calls him a dick.

In the woods, JD has a young vampire strung up and is draining him when Alcide shows up. Alcide kills JD and then all of the weres fall to their knees in front of him. Alcide says, "this stops tonight, we're wolves and we do not surrender to nihilism." I guess that was his big captain Kirk speech but honestly, I couldn't give a damn.

Nora and Eric show up at the authority compound with Sookie, Jason, and Tara tied up in the back of a truck.  Bill clears them, but is shocked to see Sookie tied up in the back. Luna starts to read the script on live television and then promptly vomits blood. She shifts back into her own body on camera and announces that vampires are keeping human captives in an underground bunker.  Luna begins to pass out. I guess this means that now the world knows that shifters exist.

Salome enters the chamber where Lilith's blood is being stored. She goes down on her knees and swears that she will do Lilith's will.  In the elevator, Pam shorts out the security for the compound.  The emergency protocols are activated and so Salome grabs the vile and runs.  Nora and Eric bicker about breaking into the system and when Tara finally gets the door open she kisses Pam.  There was no reason to see this coming beyond Jessica pointing out that both Tara and Pam like women. Can we just stop putting people together because they have the same sexuality.  They did it with Newlan and Russel and now they are doing it with Tara and Pam.  It does not work, shows a lack of creativity and any kind of investment in the same sex couples on the show.

Bill finds Salome with the blood and he tells her to reconsider because she does not know what drinking all of it will do.  He suggests that Salome would be a tremendous loss to the movement but Salome says it's not a movement; that this is the rapture.  When Jessica sees Jason, she professes her love but Jason says that he can never love a vampire.  Everyone goes up in the elevator except Sookie and Eric, who stay behind to save Bill.

It seems that Bill laced the blood with silver and the blood Salome drank was not actually Lilith's.  Bill then stakes her and reaches for the real blood in his back pocket.   He is just about to drink it when Eric and Sookie burst through the door. Bill says that he has lived his entire life believing that God has forsaken him and starts quoting the vampire bible. He downs the vile and starts to bleed from his eyes and then explodes into a pool of blood.  As Eric watches, the blood starts to move and from it emerges Bill covered in blood just like Lilith. Funny how when it's a woman, full frontal nudity is not a big deal, but when it comes to a man, a penis is just to overwhelming.

That's it folks.  I don't know about you, but this season was a huge disappointment for me and I don't feel like it actually got started until two episodes ago.  There was so much excitement going into season five back in June.  The all time favourite big bad Russell Edgington was slated to come back and there was a lot of anticipation for Christopher Meloni who was set to play Roman Zimojic.  This should have been an absolute rocking season and instead it simply limped and stuttered along until the end.

Instead of getting a lot of Russell and Roman, what we got was Terry running from an Ifrit, Shifters hooked on V, and Lafayette making a side trip to supposedly save Jesus' soul, which went absolutely nowhere.  Is this supposed to pass as closure?  Where is Jesus' body and what is the state of his soul? It felt as though this brief foray was only added to give Lafayette something to do, other than make snappy comments from time to time. The interactions between Tara and Pam could have been interesting but they fell flat week after week, making me want to close my eyes every time to the two were on screen. Then who could forget the hate group The Obama's, whose purpose was to terrorize anything not human.  They turned out to be just another example of True Blood's massive insensitivity.  Week after week, I found myself thinking who cares.

I get that True Blood was trying to attack religious fundamentalism; however, I felt like I was being hit over the head repeatedly with this message.  If religion is such a huge deal in vampire society, you would think that some vampire in the previous seasons would have mentioned it at least once.

They even threw in some bromance action for Bill and Eric, which just totally threw me for a loop.  Since when are these two concerned about each other?  They have spent every single season as antagonists, who tolerate each other for the sake of Sookie and now I am supposed to believe that they actually cared about each other, enough to consider sacrificing themselves all of a sudden?  The cannon change which bothered me the most however, was the ease with which a vampire could suddenly be killed.  Chopsticks?  No, seriously, chopsticks.  How do vampires not cower in fear every time they come across a number 2 pencil?

The True Blood that I loved seems to be gone and what remains seems to do nothing but meander along episode by episode. Until they learn to treat secondary characters as secondary and to drive the plot along at a reasonable pace, I don't see any hope for improvement.  It's almost sad because at this point,  I predict we are looking at the end of a show which doesn't have the good sense to bow out gracefully.

What were your thoughts on the season?