Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Almighty Johnsons, Season Two, Episode Nine: Everything Starts with Gaia

Gaia is busy moving all the furniture around and tells Axl that she is doing this because she had a dream.  Axl suggests that she take a break and go to work, and Gaia says that she woke up that morning and called in and quit.  Axl is concerned because Gaia has been acting weird for awhile. Bryn shows up with Jacob hot on his heels and says that they need to evacuate the house, but she tells them that she is not going anywhere with anyone.  Suddenly, a very large man named Eggthér kicks in the front door. 

Eggthér says that he had the heart tested and was given a marsupial heart. He starts to throw furniture around and asks where the girl is and Brynn says, "I don't know." When Eggthér goes into Gaia's room, Axl knocks him unconscious and Brynn and Jacob run out of the house saying that they have to find Gaia.  They spot Gaia in the car and say that they need to flee before Eggthér wakes up.  Gaia wants to know what's going on and suggests that this is another of Brynn's drug deals gone wrong.

At the office, Anders is complaining about how much the day sucks. It seems that Anders has two clients left.  Ty shows up with a tea and a scone for Dawn. When Anders discovers that Ty has a job at the bar, he decides to go with him, much to Dawn's disappointment.

Mike and Michele are having sex on his desk, when Axl and Gaia show up.  Axl asks Michele to have a look at Gaia's arm claiming that she hurt herself moving furniture and then asks Mike to join him downstairs. Downstairs, Axl begins to introduce Mike to Jacob and Brynn when Olaf walks in. Olaf sniffs them both then asks to have a word with Axl and Mike.  At the other end of the bar, Olaf wants to know what's up with the giant and the dwarf in the bar.  Mike assumes that Olaf is drunk but Olaf says that it is not effecting his judgement.  We learn that Brynn is a giant and smells like pie and Jacob is a dwarf and smells gamey. Olaf walks over and confronts Brynn and Jacob, who initially deny who they are, until Olaf introduces himself as Baldr, Mike follows with Ullr and Axl finishes with Óðinn.  Brynn and Jacob are shocked and displeased to learn that they are in the presence of Gods and both go running out of the bar as quickly as possible.

As Ty is making repairs at a bar, Anders asks if he is banging Dawn again because he cannot understand why Ty is happy.  Anders says that everything from Ty's marriage to Eva, to the downfall of his business, to the loss of nearly all of Agnetha's money in the stock market is all Mike's fault.   Anders points out that the high which Ty is feeling from being temporarily mortal is going to where off because he is no closer to being mortal and being with Dawn than he was before. 

Upstairs in the bar, Michele wraps Gaia's hand and Gaia says that she has given up nursing which Michele believes is a cause for celebration.  Axl comes upstairs to ensure that Gaia is okay and tells her that Brynn has left. It turns out that this entire exchange only occurred to give Axl the chance to sniff her.  When Axl reports to Olaf and Mike, he declares that he didn't smell anything. Olaf says that Brynn is clearly not her father because Gaia is not a giant.  Mike goes upstairs and asks Michele to keep an eye on her.  Michele wants to know why Gaia is special but Mike does not give out any details. 

When Zeb returns home, he finds the place torn apart and the front door on the ground. Eggthér enters the room swinging a toaster by its cord asking who Zeb is. When Zeb tries to walk away from Eggthér, he sees Freki on the back of his shirt, which causes Eggthér to ask if Zeb is Freki.  Zeb says that Freki is a Brazilian footballer and Eggther says that he killed Freki in a bar a few months ago. Zeb admits that he has heard of Eggthér and Eggthér wants to know what gives Zeb naming rights to Óðinn's wolf.  Zeb says he likes to dress up and pretend and then admits that his best friend is Óðinn.

Anders and Ty are having a meal and Anders is complaining about all of his credit cards being declined. Mike calls Ty and Anders tells him not to answer because, Mike declined him the right to discover who he is.  When Mike cannot reach Ty, he calls Anders and this upsets him even more because he believes that Mike thinks that he has the right to have access to them whenever he wants. They agree to talk to Mike only when they want to talk to Mike. Anders suggest that they should be the Gods they're capable of being.  They decide to leave so that Anders can show Ty the stick he cut from Yggdrasil.

In what looks to be a pub, Brynn is eating a massive steak and Jacob is complaining about  how he is letting himself go, buy Brynn counters that he is returning to his true self. In walk Axl, Mike and Olaf.  It appears that Mike tracked them with his powers.  Brynn says to Axl, "and you are Óðinn," before handing Jacob his plate and then banging his head on the table repeatedly saying, "stupid, stupid stupid giant."  Bryn tells Axl that he knew there was something about him he didn't like.  When Axl asks about Gaia, Bryn responds, "everything starts with Gaia."

Back at Anders, Anders touches Ty with the stick to see if he feels anything.  When they realise that they cannot make it work, they return to drinking.  Back at the bar, Bryn admits that Gaia is not his biological daughter. It turns out that he was sent to kill Gaia as an infant but could not bring himself to do so.  It seems that he found Gaia in a cabin used for the manufacturing of drugs.  Brynn set the cabin on fire and then spirited Gaia away and raised her. Gaia's parents were Gods and Olaf says that Gaia is not a goddess yet.

At Mike's, Gaia is talking to Stacey, Michele and Ingrid about her weird behaviour. Gaia admits that she hasn't been quite herself and Ingrid admits that she talks to herself quite a bit. Back at the bar, Axl says that Gaia is 22 and wonders if the age of 21 for the change is applicable for goddesses.  Olaf responds, "oh hell yes, those last few months before they turn 21 and change are a nightmare of hormonal freakishness. Trust me, you don't want to be anywhere near that shit."  Right, so when the Gods change, no big deal but of course, Goddesses being women become a hormonal pain in the ass.  What would an episode of The Almighty Johnsons be without some explicit sexism?  Axl clearly thinks back to Gaia's recent weird behaviour and asks Brynn how old Gaia really is.  He admits he had to move some numbers around.  Brynn goes on to complain that he had to pretend to be gay, and give up eating meat and Jacob responds, "at least you didn't have to pretend to be straight."  There you have it folks, the first gay male character on the show has been revealed.  Jacob was also sent to kill her, but just like Bryn, when he saw her, he only wanted to protect her.  Apparently, Jacob dated Gaia only to stop the inevitable. 

Michele, Ingrid and Stacey are discussing whether or not Gaia is indeed a Goddess.  Stacey believes her choice of name is just too obvious but Ingrid points out "that sometimes the universe is obvious."  Bryn and Jacob admit that they wanted to kill her because of a prophesy about a new dark age for giants and dwarves born under the southern stars. Brynn grabs a knife to stab Axl and Olaf stops him. Axl realises that Gaia is Frigg.  Walking back from the bar, Brynn talks about the fact that it took his father "some time to adjust to his physical handicap."  Okay, I get that Bryn is a giant but he is not disabled and I resent the usage of the word handicap.  For a man, John Leigh, the actor who plays Bryn  is of pretty average height.  I get that we are meant to suspend belief but doing so in order to construct an able bodied man as disabled on a show that plausibly only has one disabled character (Ingrid and even that is a stretch) is disableist and problematic to say the least.  He complains that all of the other giants used to make fun of him. Bryn admits that to hide what he had done, he sent back a possum heart back, which makes Axl realise that Gaia is the person whom Eggthér is looking for.

Ty and Anders are talking about destiny and Anders says that destiny is a decision.  Anders decides that the next girl he sees he is going to make his cock her destiny.  When an older homeless women walks by, they both laugh and Anders clarifies to say, "the next doable girl." They decide to find a woman so that Anders can be her cock of destiny. Keep in mind, should Anders use his powers on said woman, that this makes him a rapist because he would have denied her the ability to consent.

Axl, Mike, Olaf, Brynn and Jacob return to Axl's.  Jacob feels that they should seek reinforcements and Axl points out that he is supposedly a dwarf assassin.  Mike tells Axl that he should stay out of this and as they negotiate a plan of attack, Olaf walks right through the front door causing the others to follow and they see that Zeb's Freki shirt is stuck to the wall with a few knives.  Axl gets a phone call from Eggthér, who says that he knows that Axl is Óðinn and demands that Axl turn over Gaia or he will kill Zeb. In his demands he also asks for a roast chicken.  I say take out Zeb but of course, since Zeb is Axl's best friend, that's not gong to happen. He then asks for Brynn and says, make sure they bring the chicken and the girl or you will die with Óðinn's friend.

Ty and Anders end up at a bar to drink some more. As Mike, Olaf, Axl, Bryn and Jacob are leaving Axl's, Jacob suggests that since Zeb is mortal that they sacrifice him.  They head back to Mike's bar to find the goddesses drunk. Michele tells Mike that she knows that Gaia is Frigg and agrees to keep the goddesses upstairs. Jacob asks if they have ruled out giving Eggthér Gaia, because she has grown up to be a disappointment. Olaf tosses Jacob out into the street and Jacob says, "that's right, feed into the stereotype, toss the dwarf."  I am not in the least bit surprised that they used this ableist phrase.  Jacob is not actually a dwarf and the directors most certainly could have chosen a little person for this role.  It's upsetting that they have no problem referencing dwarf tossing, which is dehumanizing to little people, but can't be arsed to hire one.

Back in the bar, Mike asks if Eggthér has any weaknesses and Brynn says, "gluttony."  Olaf suggests that the best way to deal with this is to find someone angrier. Axl immediately starts shaking his head but Olaf says, "do we have an alternative my lord Óðinn?"  Axl gets on the phone and calls Thor to ask for help.  He tells Thor that they are having a giant problem in Aukland and he says that though he has never met a giant, he would love to kill one because he's Thor.  Brynn says he wants nothing to do with this because "that deity is an offense against all things civilized." Axl agrees with him but feels they have no choice. Mike takes out his phone to call Anders and Axl asks about Gaia because he feels that she has right to know what is going on and who she is.  Axl asks Brynn to tell her with him because he owes it to her.  

Upstairs the goddesses are roaring drunk and doing Gaia's hair. Axl asks her to have lunch with him Brynn and stresses that it is important. Back at the bar, Anders is saying that he likes Ty more than any women in the bar and declares that he is headed to the bathroom and then they will leave.  When Ty looks around, he sees people drinking apple martinis and remembers the time he spent with Iðunn and Olaf warning that as Óðinn has his Frigg, Bragi has his Iðunn.  Since the relationship between Bragi and Iðunn means nothing but heartbreak for Iðunn, Ty gets up immediately to find Anders. When Ty does catch up with Anders, he is already having sex with Iðunn.

Axl and Bryn take Gaia to the beach and Bryn admits that he is not gay, human, a vegetarian or her biological father and says that everything he has done has been to protect her. Bryn says that she is two years younger than she thinks she is. Axl takes over and tells her about Óðinn, who is the king of all Norse gods and a goddess named Frigg, who is his truly beloved and that they are destined to be together.  Then Axl tells her that he and his brothers are descendents of these Gods and admits to being Óðinn.  Gaia starts to laugh and neither Brynn or Axl know how to deal with her reaction to the news.