Saturday, May 4, 2013

Beauty and the Beast, Season 1, Episode 20: Anniversary

Awww, Vincent is romantically watching Catherine sleep by sneaking in her window.

I blame Stephanie Meyer for this creepy creepy behaviour becoming a romantic staple. I don’t know about anyone else but if I woke up and found the guy I’m sleeping with staring at me I’d find it faintly creepy – let alone knowing they’ve actually sneaked into my bedroom to do so. Besides, no-one is sexy first thing in the morning – with wild bed-head hair and that wrinkle on your cheek from the pillow and morning breath. Then there’s snoring and dribbling and horrible mucus bubbles, talking in their sleep revealing they’re actually having sexy dreams about someone else. Seriously, sleeping humans are nasty nasty things.

Anyway, the reason for this creepiness is that it’s the anniversary of Catherine’s mother’s death. We get a quick recap about the death, Muirfield et al. And how her mother lied to her and was part of something so evil (and she liked pineapple on her pizza. I can forgive the whole experimenting on people for funsies, but defiling good pizza with pineapple? She was evil!) Of course it’s also the anniversary of Catherine meeting Vincent – so she decides to bail on her sister and dad mourning her mother’s death and instead spend time having sexy times with Vincent.

Even Vincent realises how totally not-ok that is and how, even if she’s not happy with her mother’s memory, it’s quite like kicking her sister and father in the stomach.

At work Tess meets Joe and they discuss their ongoing affair and Joe has an idea – go public about it! And in preparation for that he has found another precinct for her to transfer to. Yeah, Tess isn’t mad pleased about him assuming she would be the one to transfer. (I can kind of see her point – certainly at the assumption rather than discussing it – but isn’t there going to be more chances to transfer at her rank than his?)  He points this out but she adds that she’s worked to gain respect in this precinct; which he says she’ll lose if they go public, then rapidly amends to “we” when Tess protests. He leaves going public in her hands.

When Vincent and Catherine go to the cemetery they find that Gabe is already at her mother’s grave. And Vincent gets jealous (oh, really? Can we not, even if the man is gorgeous can we just move away from love triangles and jealousy with this couple. Stop flogging this zombie horse).  Talking to Gabe, he tells Catherine how he knew her mother, and he reassures Catherine that her mother was a wonderful, awesome doctor who was caring and loving while other doctors did the cruel, unethical experiments. Uh-huh, being nice and turning a blind eye isn’t winning her any ethics points. He and Catherine bond over her old videos that Catherine’s mother brought in to Muirfield and she invites him to their family anniversary commemoration. He offers to replace her headstone which is cracked. And Vincent gets all jealous and beasty about it.

NO! Stop stop stop stop! We already did this with Evan. We already did this with Alex! Can we not do the jealousy storyline again?! 3 times in 1 season really has to be a limit.

To the mayor dedicating a park which all the police are being security for; Catherine fills in Tess about Gabe and how Vincent disappeared. And Heather calls to explain how sad she is (this may actually be the first conversation Heather has ever had that is not about a guy – so Catherine quickly talks about Gabe because the lack of testosterone in their conversations simply cannot stand).  Tess also sees why Vincent is jealous because she invited Gabe to the family mourning thing – which she compares to Joe being possessive of the precinct.

At Beast base, JT is, again, the voice of reason skewering Vincent’s jealousy. But Vincent decides that Gave is plotting and deliberately chose this day to reveal their shared past to Catherine because she’d be vulnerable and easily manipulated

At the park, Gabe menaces someone about the mayor freezing him out and Vincent drops in to tell Catherine how suspicious Gabe is (nice to see how low profile he is – and showing up at an event crawling with security while skulking and being afraid to show your face is just a great idea). While Catherine is busy with her personal life, the mayor gets shot. Oopsie. Vincent chases the sniper but he manages to get away in a car – but not before dropping his mobile. Vincent checks the last number dialled – and it’s picked up by Gabe. Vincent, incensed, squishes the phone – yay for forensic evidence.

Police station and it seems the mayor will live and the snipe was outside the perimeter so no-one’s to blame (how about blaming a plan that established a perimeter but didn’t include the buildings overlooking it?) and one of the cops, Morelli, seems to know about Tess and Joe. Catherine sees Vincent and he puts all his jealousy about Gabe in the Woo-woo Beast Instinct box and tells her about the phone call. After some boyfriend talk with Tess, they use JT to check on Gabe (official channels would be too dubious given he’s an ADA). It would also be slower

I always love how easy it is to dig up dirt on just about anyone on these programmes. Bank statements, full financial details – 2 minutes and a talented amateur and you’re in.

Of course Gabe is both richer than god and spends money like water, but they track a $25,000 transfer among the $2,000 salon payment. Catherine decides to confront Gabe with all her illegally gathered and completely unuseable evidence and Gabe claims he hired a private investigator with the money because he noticed the cracked headstone several days ago – and this prompted him to investigate. Seems… excessive. Seems that Catherine’s mother’s body was exhumed shortly after she was buried. And there was no autopsy on her and the funeral was a closed casket. And she’d already showed her skill in faking Gabe’s death to get him out – it’s possible she faked her own.

Off to Vincent to explain this – who, naturally, doesn’t believe it because it comes from Gabe. I wish I didn’t agree – because we’ve all completely ignored the call to the sniper here. Anyway, ignoring that it seems that Vincent’s super beast senses already knew that the grave was empty, he just assumed the body was elsewhere and was protecting Catherine (AAARGH, yes again with the protecting bullshit).

I call shenanigans. He sensed the grave was empty? What kind of sense is that – does he have underground geophysical seismic survey senses? Can he smell ONE body in a sealed casket in a graveyard? Shenanigans!

Vincent adds a cherry to the cake by forbidding Catherine from seeing Gabe any more. Catherine, predictably, is serious pissed off by this. Holy convoluted conflict! Time for another drink!

Time for the morbid mother-death party – which Gabe attends – and Catherine is losing it about people keeping secrets from her and the headstone and why wasn’t she told. Her dad, naturally, thinks she’s lost her ever-loving mind. Remember at this point that Catherine is a police detective – and this is how she asks questions. Marvel at this for a moment. She finally spills to her dad that she thinks her mother faked her death and how she’s troubled by the many secrets her mother kept.

Following the form her dad gives her (man that man keeps paperwork!)  Catherine and Gabe go to the address of the person who exhumed the grave – and find an apparently abandoned building.

At the police station, Tess has had IT put the shattered phone together and they’ve pulled more information off it – the mayor wasn’t the target (shall we guess who was?) Tess calls Vincent to try and get Catherine – Vincent is still huffy but Tess has no time for that. The target was Gabe (gasp, you’re shocked! I’m shocked, are you shocked? I’m totally shocked by this shocking news). Vengeance for an arrest he made – he was stood next to the mayor and the sniper missed. They called him because most people stand still when they get a phone call, making an easier target.

Cut to the abandoned house and someone starts shooting at them – Gabe assumes Muirfield. Catherine with her gun, goes chasing the sniper for a firefight and Vincent shows up, all growly. How does he know where she is again? Super beasty GPS tracking system to go with his seismic survey? And Vincent pushes the man off his perch, through the floor and to splat below. Catherine has another “you saved me” moment.

On the ground of the house they find a grave with the name “Vanessa” – Catherine’s mother’s name written on it. And Vincent’s super senses detects the body underground. They found her mother. Catherine declares she never should have doubted Vincent.

WHY?! He was wrong! He was wrong about Gabe! He lied about the body being missing! He had no conclusive reason to believe Vanessa hadn’t faked her own death! She should have doubted him! MORE DOUBT NEEDED! BRING ON THE DOUBT!

Police arrive and Morelli is giving Tess shit for shtupping the boss. Catherine shows Gabe the grave and he asks the questions about why she has been moved at all. Catherine doesn’t want to move her back – not and risk her family by attracting Muirfield attention and not adding more questions to her mother’s life.

Back at the police station Tess talks to Joe – she doesn’t want to leave the precinct, she likes it where she is. But going public would also destroy both their reputations. So more relationship carefully concealed. Joe’s fine with that - he dumped Morelli into the spot instead.

Romantic Catherine and Vincent moment. And another learning moment with Catherine saying she should trust Vincent’s instincts (NO! He was wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG YOU SILLY FOOL YOU!) and he questioning the wisdom of hiding things to protect her (aaargh how many times do you have to learn this lesson!?)

Gabe, meanwhile goes to the abandoned building and calls someone – he tells them that Vanessa is dead, but also that he has found “him” (Vincent we assume). And his eyes glow gold and beasty.


Yes that sums it all up, AAAAAAAAAARGHH

So much convoluted nonsense! Vincent has to be jealous of Gabe – have we overused this? Sure but must have more romance conflict!

And Vincent has to be keeping more secrets from Catherine. Have they not repeatedly decided that the secrets are terribad things? Yes they have. Why has he still not learned his lesson? BECAUSE WE MUST HAVE CONVOLUTED CONFLICT!

And Vincent forbids Catherine from seeing Gabe! Forbids her! Shall I hail this as a positive depiction because Catherine rejected it? NO! Because it’s grossly out of character and more damn simplistic CONVOLUTED CONFLICT!

This writing is as realistic and sensible and consistent as Vincent jumping off a 6 storey building seconds after discussing keeping a low profile. The conflict of this story is clunky, artificial and forced.