Greg, the super-creepy probation officer, is breaking
into the gang’s lockers to search them – finding white powder in Abbey’s locker
– he decides this explains why she isn’t around and makes some absolutely
terrible noises which I think is supposed to represent a rave or possibly that
a weasel has crawled up his trousers and bitten him somewhere sensitive. Finn
points out it’s actually sherbet and Greg takes the weirdness to all new creepy
levels that don’t even begin to make sense
Greg’s weirdness does emphasise that Abbey is missing and
the gang goes searching for her – at Laura (girl
who smells good) flat; where they hear screams. They burst in and charge to
the source of the noise and find the two in bed together.
At the community centre Abbey describes how sleeping with guys made her feel empty but Laura completes her to which Jess announces the answer to all of Abbey’s identity problems – she’s a lesbian.
Cut to Greg, who has been creepily stalking Finn and
crying over his rape, questioning Finn on whether he’s involved with Alex,
generally terrifying Finn and shares half a kit-kat with him.
Meanwhile, Abbey and Laure are enjoying some sweet sensual camera work that does a really good job of hiding that they’re not actually kissing, when Laura’s ex-boyfriend shows up, only no-one told him about the ex-part. That’s ok, Abbey, who introduces herself as “Abbey the Lesbian” is happy to tell him (though Laura makes it clear she’s not a lesbian, it’s just Abbey who is special. She can’t be lesbian or bisexual, it just has to be one special woman, really?). He grabs Laura and calls her a stupid bitch – and Abbey leaps on him, drives him to the floor and beats 8 kinds of hell out of him before Laura pulls her off him.
In Laura’s flat, Abbey sees a small stuffed monkey and we
see two little girls (a flashback?) in bed, with the monkey. One of them is
worried about “scary” being there, under the bed. Back in the present Abbey
worries what Laura thinks of her – but Laura felt safe and liked it – and they
kiss (for real this time). As they start to have sex we have another flashback
to the two little girls; one (Laura by the monkey) is afraid of Scary coming to
get her, while the other reassures her, causing a dark shadow to retreat. Abbey
delays proceedings to say that Scary is coming – and explains her memories to
Laura. But Laura doesn’t understand it, only one other person knew about her
childhood boogeyman – her imaginary friend, Abbey. Yes, Laura was caught out in
the storm of weird powers and manifested her imaginary friend. Time to stop all
sex and clutch the covers to themselves.
She explains this to the gang (who have, to be honest,
seem weirder) and Rudy grabs her breast because, of course he does. He then
angsts with Rudy 2 over his endlessly infuriating behaviour and the fact he
likes Jess (run Jess, run!)
Oh gods, now Greg is playing the piano in his continuing
stalky quest to seduce Finn, a man he has terrified repeatedly. He orders Finn
to sit next to him and force him to join him in a duet. Finn leaves as soon as
he possibly can.
Rudy 2 goes to speak to Abbey since he, obviously, has
been there with all kinds of doubts that Rudy 1 well, was all Rudy about. He tells
her about the problems he had and tells her about the support group.
Finn tells his worries about Greg to the group which
doesn’t go well since they have little sympathy – and we see the flip side to
Laura manifesting Abbey. If she creates her imaginary friend – then what about
her childhood terror, Scary?
Abbey goes to see Laura but finds the ex-boyfriend is back at her flat and telling Abbey that Laura wants nothing to do with her. Abbey sneaks into the bathroom to talk to Laura, even cutting herself to show she’s real. She cries and begs the be acknowledged by the only person she has but Laura refuses her – and her boyfriend breaks in and grabs Abbey. In the struggle, Abbey cuts Laura – and Laura again tells her to leave, holding her boyfriend.
Abbey leaves, crying bitter tears
Oh gods back to the community centre and Greg and Finn.
Greg has been drinking and has taken Finn off community service so he’s no
longer breaking any ethics rules pursuing a relationship. Greg advances,
singing, while Finn backs off, saying he’s not gay (but that he apparently “looks
gay.”) Finn starts almost running to avoid the singing probation officer.
Cornered, Finn reacts to Greg’s approach by pushing him back with his
telekinesis, over a railing – and down several storeys. He appears to be dead
Dead probation workers they can deal with – Alex and Rudy
arrive and they argue over whose fault it is (no-one is perturbed by dead
probation workers any more). They take him away to bury, drop him in the hole
and he gasps in pain – Rudy reacts by hitting him with a shovel. He’s not dead
(not even from the shovel).
With the guys out, Jess arrives at the community centre
to find that Abbey has taken an overdose. She forces Abbey to throw up the
pills she took.
The guys load up Greg in his car and Rudy takes his penis
out because… well, Rudy, basically. They set his car to crash hoping that Greg
will wake confused and put it all down to the crash – but the car crashes into
Jess’s car just as she, and a newly revived Abbey, arrive. The crash seems to
work at least, Greg wakes with only confused memories of what happened.
At the support group, Sam the man who can fly, talking
about his powers and how he has spent all his life scared and running and now
just can run better. Rudy 2 wants to show him a different way.
Back to Laura and her boyfriend, Rob, is eaten by Scary. Bye
bye POC, your days were limited.
Laura goes to see the gang and Rudy… well goes all Rudy
and Jess laughs at him (much to Finn’s shock – and mine. I thought she had more
sense). Abbey and Laura reconcile since they still have the weird creator
connection and they go through old photos and get on quite well – before Scary
shows up and grabs Abbey. She tells him to fuck off and runs to Laura…
Followed by Scary – who is actually pretty scary. They
try to hide in the dark, Abbey reassuring Laura, when Scary grabs Laura and
drags her across the floor by her hair. Abbey’s not having that – and stabs him
with a swingball poll.
Scary’s dead, yay. Abbey and Laura review their relationship but consider it far too incestuous- but they part on good terms.
And we close with some guy trying to mug Rudy 2 - only to have Sam the flying man whisky him
into the sky and save him (that’s Rudy who’s whisked – though whisking the
other guy into the sky and dropping him would also have worked). Sam looks all
confident now, Rudy 2 has the screaming meemies.
Abbey has complete utter amnesia. Abbey may not even be
her real name. Discovering she’s a lesbian (through extremely creepy
smell-stalking) does not solve the mystery. Her biography, her entire life
history, cannot be summed up with the word “lesbian”.
But then, Abbey appears not even to be an actual person,
but an extension of her lover. The lover who assures them she’s not a lesbian –
she’s just attracted to her own mental construction - and it ends with a suicide attempt. Wow,
and here was I ready to praise a relatively decent (if flawed by creepy
sniffing and Abbey repeatedly being presented as debased) depiction of GBLT
characters. That was silly of me, wasn’t it?
The sad thing? The whole storyline is actually a pretty fascinating one – the idea that Abbey is actually a creation similar to the Rudies, but one who we have been seeing as a character is a wonderful one to explore – but without the “hey lesbian – HAH JUST KIDDING! Let’s dump some creepy all over that sweet loving!” Especially since the show has such an utterly appalling reputation for homophobia already
Speaking of – Greg and Finn is creepy abusive and all kinds of nasty. Greg is a predator straight from the pit of all those gay sex predator memes that just will not die! Then follow it through – the out of control gay sex predator makes his move on the poor innocent straight guy who, in panic, retaliates and kills him (even with the resurrection).
That’s text book gay panic defence. It’s argued court by straight people trying to justify beating and murdering gay people. So, no, this whole Greg storyline is not comic, any more than Alex raping Finn was.
