Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Teen Wolf, Season 3, Episode 22: De-Void

At the Wolf Loft, in one of those epic emotional confrontations that Teen Wolf specialises in, Sherriff I-don’t-need-a-first-name-because-I-like-making-Sparky-type-out-sherriff-every-damn-time Stilinski draws his handcuffs and expects Evil Stiles to put them on if there’s any shred of Good Stiles left in him. Evil Stiles accepts – but he’s Evil Stiles and isn’t to be stopped by petty little handcuffs, which he breaks with utter ease.

In comes the Stiles intervention squad from last week. Alison’s taser does nothing and Derek gets his arse rather awesomely handed to himV when he tries to attack Stiles.

Chris Argent cheats and pulls a gun, bragging about his murdering cred. Sherriff Stilinski pulls a gun and points it at Chris (I’m guessing this is all the Sherriff’s ploy). Lots of shouting show down complete with Stiles just encouraging every side; Allison whispers “strife” she’s realised the nogitsune is feeding on the chaos. Awww, Allison, ruining Evil Stiles’s fun; but he has an even more ulterior motive. He’s going to use them to protect him from the 4 super-Oni that Noshiko summoned.

Ok, why is Chris fighting the Oni to protect Stiles who he was ready to shoot? The Sherriff’s secret plan?

Scott and Kira arrive late to the party to find them tired and wounded Intervention Squad – but the Oni and Stiles have disappeared.

Noshiko goes to the basement of the mental hospital to see her old lover’s body behind the shattered Kanji for self. Evil Stiles is there and wants to know why “self”? Apparently because Reese died as himself, not a monster like Evil Stiles; who reminds her that she was the one who summoned him. She’s also brought her kaiken, her last tail (she intended to hide it in the mental hospital it seems) which he takes off her and stabs himself with, slashing across his stomach with it. Ok that was unexpected… He gasps “chaos has come again” (which is awesome and creepy and awesomely creepy but probably not good) and a swarm of flies bursts from the wound. When they all buzz off, Stiles has disappeared

That sound was my creepy meter breaking

We get a fly’s eye view of the hospital where Melissa is handling Isaac’s chart (because, of course, there are no other medical professionals in this place) and the fly crawls into Isaac’s IV wound (ew ew ew ew that has got to be a lawsuit against the hospital “allowed demonic flies to enter wounds”). It wakes Isaac up – and sets his eyes all golden and glowy.

Kira is having a sleepover at Scott’s (behold Melissa’s Hostel for Lost Teenaged Supernaturals) since her parents have dumped a whole load of revelations on her and she needs time to process. Or she fears her mother unleashing another day-long recap. He wants to gentlemanly sleep in the chair while she gets the bed while she quietly despairs of Scott every taking the hint and tells him to get in the bed (not quite in those words). Well, on the bed anyway. As they kiss and settle in, a Nogifly crawls over the window outside. Curses! Demonic evil foiled by glass and malaria nets!

The Argents return home with Chris apparently unsure whether he would have really shot Stiles or not; but Alison made sure he wouldn’t and sabotaged the gun. Chris makes another laughable comment about the “matriarchy” of the Argents. In her bedroom the possibly-evil Isaac is waiting for her. More touching kissing and Allison presumably not realising his possessed state because of the whole nearly-dead-by-electricity thing

At the Wolf Loft it’s time for some snark – Peter and Derek. Derek’s recreating Evil-Stiles’s chess board (though the wound from the Oni sword is slow in healing) and Peter thinks this is silly – the nogitsune is an ancient trickster, it doesn’t follow the rules, especially since chess is Stiles’s thing, not a Japanese fox spirit. What games to fox spirits play? Well one of the Demon Flies enters Derek’s open wound. That’s a new game.

Danny and Ethan make a reappearance (watch closely now, we may not see Danny again before the finale); Danny is impressed by Ethan’s sports skills but Ethan is thinking of moving on with Aidan – right before he gets Demon Flied and inviting Danny into the shower (don’t make that a Demon Fly motivation, c’mon Teen Wolf) and cut away before anything happens. Totally glad this is treated with the same respect as Scott & Kira and Isaac & Allison guys, honest.

Aidan and Lydia are going to see Malia, for Reasons, when Aidan points out they’re driving in circles. Lydia blames the GPS she’s listening to – but the GPS isn’t on. Bean Sidhe powers come with GPS now! This rather panics her and she has a sudden urge to pull over, much to Aidan’s panic, into a car park where Stiles is laid out unconscious. Aidan gets his own Demon Fly

They take him to Dr. Deaton, Melissa (that’s the entire medical knowledge of the town at their disposal) and Scott where Deaton examines his wound (because I’d totally prefer the vet to check me out than the town’s only doctor) who notes Stiles’s wound is healing super-fast werewolf style.

Stiles wakes up and tries to strangle Aidan, though Deaton uses Kanima venom to restrain him. Evil Stiles asks Aidan if he can feel Ethan’s pain – because that’s not ominous at all. Melissa wisely suggests gagging Stiles before he mixes it any more (Stiles the nogitsune also drops some Japanese – bakemono, shapeshifter). Even paralysed and gagged, Deaton is worried because it still feels like Evil Stiles is winning (this is why Deaton is the smart one)

As proof of this, Stiles starts crying while Melissa is treating his wound – in pity she takes off his gag. And he mocks her for being so easily manipulated (evil evil evil evil – but so very good at evil) before revealing he knows why Scott’s dad really left – a big dark secret he’s kept hidden to protect Scott and Melissa’s relationship. Time for a re-gag.

Anyway, remember the cure? To change Stiles’ body (haircut?) which Scott decided means make him into a werewolf? Now Scott is worried Stiles won’t want it (really Scott? Look I can respect a desire to maintain his agency but if the choices are nogitsune, werewolf or death…) He’s also not sure how to do the biting thing without hurting Stiles… so Lydia suggests calling Peter.

Peter disagrees with the whole battling over the body anyway (what, we’re just discarding the scroll cure now?), this is possession, the battlefield is the mind. The plan is to send Scott into “pale and sick and evil Stiles mind” to find “pale and sick and real Stiles” and bring him back with Lydia to help. That involves Scott stabbing Stiles and Lydia in the neck with his claws (like the memory trick) though Scott suspects a trick (Peter is wounded by the lack of trust – though Scott actually meant Evil Stiles. Which shows how much everyone has magically forgotten about Peter).

Meanwhile, chaos begins with all the Demon Flies. Isaac wakes up with Allison and plays with her weapons (not a euphemism) he thinks the twins are a big bad threat and, just in case she doesn’t agree, he’s chained her to the bed.

Aidan goes to the school and he and Ethan argue about staying in the pack, whether they’ll ever be accepted and Ethan blaming Aidan for being the psychotic twin. They fight and Isaac tases them both with one of Allison’s toys. He’s ready to burn them when Allison and Kira arrive to intervene – which is all great and powerful until the twins wake up as well and they realise they’re facing 3 out of control werewolves so go hide in the office. Not your finest hour, ladies, but points for good common sense. The three werewolves turn on each other. Kira and Allison emerge to break it up, swapping weapons for some reason

Demon Flied Derek drops in on Chris to talk about Chris’s sister burning his family alive – battle ensues, a battle Derek wins. He then ties Chris up and prepares to burn him to death, once Allison is back to witness it. In the meantime he rants – and gives Chris chance to escape his chair and grab a gun.

Scott makes with the Red-eyed neck stabbing and he and Lydia enter Stiles’s mind. Which involves being strapped to beds. That doesn’t start well. While they struggle Lydia reminds Scott he’s a werewolf and to break free already. Step one complete, they’re free. But then they’re separated – Lydia ending up in a party frock in the school, surrounded by balloons and the bandaged nogitsune.

Lydia backs away and in the real world Lydia has a nose bleed. Peter rushes to her to tell her how strong she is; he roars her name and she hears it and runs

Dream Scott is making out with Allison in a cupboard before realising that they’re not together. He comes to his senses and both he and Lydia walk out into a huge, white room in which the nogitsune and Stiles are playing go on the nemeton’s stump.

Now there’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d ever be typing. They run to the players but get no closer. Lydia, who is still the smart one, reminds Scott that Stiles may be human but he’s still Scott’s pack – and wolves can communicate over a distance. Scott doesn’t know the difference between howling and roaring but it still works. Stiles looks up from the game and scatters the go board.

Everyone with Demon Flies collapses, drooling Helix style black goo. Lydia and Scott wake up and Peter demands Lydia give him the name of his daughter (Malia) in recompense (they made a deal apparently). As she whispers the name, Stiles wakes up and begins vomiting bandages which turns into the nogitsune.

Everyone cowers while it forms rather than taking the chance to beat it with heavy objects (or call Noshiko, some Oni, whatever). When it fully forms, Peter and Scott pin it – and Scott removes the bandages revealing… Stiles.

Two Stiles? A strange and beautiful dream. The other Stiles – Evil Stiles, has escaped while everyone was distracted and he’s apparently taken Lydia with him. Clever clever, crafty fox.

 We also have the unnecessary distraction of Agent McCall who is STILL NOT DEAD dragging Sherriff Stilinski to his review hearing about whether or not he’s going to be fired. The hearing isn’t impressed and the Sherriff is equally unimpressed with them (can’t say I’m impressed with him just trying to walk out though, it’s such a classic “screw the system, I’m special” move) when Agent McCall speaks up. And saves Sherriff Stilinski’s job

Why? Because a) he recognises that Beacon Hills is Weird and no-one could solve these cases. And b) he didn’t want to kick out the Sherriff, it was all an excuse so he could spend time with Scott. The Sherriff advises him to “tell him everything”.

Did I mention how incredibly good Stiles is at playing evil? Because Evil Stiles may beat every villain Teen Wolf has ever had. Ever. And not just the acting, the fact that his attacks are so subtle and convoluted really works.

Noshiko is 900 years old… and, alas, has NO IDEA HOW TO HIDE THINGS. She hides the soul of the Nogitsune under a tree in a fragile glass jar rather than, say, in a titanium safe in a lake of concrete at the bottom of an abandoned mine (she had 60 years to plan this). Then, with her last tail, she decides to hide it at one of the few places significant to the nogitsune. You couldn’t hire a storage locker? Bury it in the woods? Build a new gazebo and drop it in the foundation?

Deaton is wise and resourceful and cunning and knowledgeable and… at what point did he milk Jackson for venom and then keep it for at least a year after the fact? There’s resourceful and there’s really really creepy. Also, did we need the Japanese nogitsune fungus then? For that matter, how sure are we that good ol’ thorazine won’t get the job done? I like to think that he has an intricate master plan, but I doubt it.

Was this supposed to be Agent McCall’s redeeming moment? He threatened a man’s career, caused all kinds of problems, abused the system for his own personal means and ran up who knows what costs because he wants to spend time with a son who rather blatantly would rather he jump into a wood chipper?

And I can get them calling Peter for advice – but NOT Lydia suggesting it. I know she’s the smart one but this rapidly brushing under the carpet everything Peter did to Lydia is not ok and needs to stop.