Saturday, January 21, 2017

Teen Wolf, Season 6, Episode 8: Blitzkrieg

Time for a Garrett/Hauptman history lesson. Turns out he’s a Lowenmensch – a wolf/lion man (I wonder if this is a mistake and what they meant was just lion man?) and a Nazi – yes as in World War 2 Nazi rather than the modern Alt Right kind – who wanted to enslave the Wild Hunt to turn into an army for Hitler

Honestly, in supernatural worlds, the Nazis never had tanks – just oodles and oodles of occultists trying to summon bad things.

It didn’t go well for him or his unit which were all massacred by the annoyed hunter

Except him who was wounded by the Hunt and got one of those green-infected nasty wounds. He didn’t give up on grabbing the Hunt and went looking for some scientists to help. Unfortunately for him those scientists were the Dread Doctors who promptly put him in one of their vats to do nefarious things with him. He spent several decades gently simmering in dread doctor goo, with a base of Wild Hunt Poison and a dash of general evil turning into something super powerful and deadly. Yes a marinating Nazi recipe, I was going to make a Paula Dean quip but there was no indication of butter being added at all

How does the gang learn all this? Because of the B team showing their usual common sense. After a brief moment where Mason mourns Cody and is shocked that he only has pics of Mason in his phone (Hayden: That means he loves you Me: That means the show didn’t develop him enough to have hobbies, friends, family or be anything other than Mason’s +1 who in turn is little more than Liam’s +1 but still points for showing mourning). Most of the Town has now been taken by the Hunters now and everyone is all despairy – but Theo claims to know all this about Garrett because the script says so. Y’know, for beings that barely spoke the Dread Doctors were damn chatty behind the scenes

He is willing to divulge all of this if the B team will destroy Kira’s sword so he can’t be trapped again. I think this is a shitty thing to do without speaking to Kira or Noshiko first. I also think it’s pointless – yay they won’t trap you under the floor any more – but I’m sure Malia will happily beat you to death. Is that better?

After these revelations the Wild Hunt shows up – Mason is quickly vanished. Followed by, after a long dramatic moment in which this show insists on trying to make me care about Liam and Hayden, Hayden is also taken. Liam runs off alone.

Chris and Melissa are still trying to track down Garrett – since they’ve been on the Pineal gland murders for a while. He finds them, sadly, and all enhanced he is more than a match for an Argent. He demands to be shown where Parrish is – since he wants a Hellhound – and then Melissa and Chris are also green gassed out of there. This show’s filling up that train station. So many have gone we just know they’re all going to be rescued – there’s just too many for them not to. It kind of detracts from the tension of it – because we know these losses aren’t going to have consequences

For reasons unknown, Parrish is now a servant of Garrett. Green gassy glows may be involved. Which sounds terrible when I write it out.

Scott, Lydia, Malia and Peter also don’t have many good ideas anyway. The best they can come up with is for Scott to cross the boundary into the train station, bite Stiles so he becomes a werewolf and can survive the transition back like Peter did… it’s shaky. Especially since their follow up plan is “and hope Stiles has a plan for rescuing everyone else”

Peter is quick to opt out and head for the hills because he’s Peter. Though he’s not entirely wrong. Equally, he hasn’t really lost anyone yet.

The gang makes their move on the rift – but can’t open it. Not until Garrett shows up with Parrish in tow. He can open it – but he’s in control of the Nazi with the whip (I’m sure there’s some fetish dungeons where this is a thing) and, despite them being underground and the whip being the worst weapon ever invented, Garrett manages to hold everyone back until Parrish opens the rift and he and Garret disappear through it, sealing it up behind them

Well there’s another plan foiled

From the rift emerge several Hunters and it’s a desperate fight against pointless yet surprisingly effective whips again: Scott and Malia only survive because Peter arrives –ready and willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of his daughter. Whelp, I guess that’s his redemption train completed

While Lydia and Liam make it because the Hunter steps away from Lydia. Liam thinks it’s fear, Lydia thinks it’s reverence, I think Lydia should start screaming at them and use some Banshee mojo

But I’m going to end on the biggie of the episode. Noah Stilinski. Noah in Stiles’ remembering – and with each memory more and more of Stile’s room returns – his bed, his crime board, his red thread that spider webs everything. Noah remembers Stiles and calls Claudia to come see

And she sees nothing. She sees none of Stiles’s memories. But among the things that has returned is a picture – the picture of the real Claudia’s last good day, the last day she had before the sickness took her. Noah shares tragic, painful memories of him and Stiles on that day with Claudia while she tries to bring up their happy, fake memories that never happened.

See, for all its goofyness, Teen Wolf is excellent at hitting those emotional sore points.

Claudia vanishes…

And Noah goes to the despairing group, having lost everyone, Scott realising Melissa’s gone – and tells them he remembers his son: Mieczyslaw Stalinski. Yes, we now have Stiles’s real first name. Noah recounts Stiles’s history and how, in doing so, he briefly opened a rift. They can open a Rift to the other side – by remembering Stiles