Monday, May 15, 2017

Shadowhunters, Season 2, Episode 6: Iron Sisters

Our main plot follows Clary – oh how thrilling. Alas it is not her quest to a decent acting school, instead she’s going to the Iron Sisters

Hey, remember how the Iron Sisters were totally Izzy’s dream and how she’d love to be one of these warrior women who make all the Shadowhunters’ weapons? Well that’s still her dream but now it’s going to be all about Clary. Clary joins Izzie on her trip because what delicate diplomatic mission isn’t improved by an emotional and ignorant novice? Especially when this mission is literally just Izzie and Clary

But when they get to the Iron Sisters it turns out they have a purity bath to make sure nothing demonic stinks up the place. Izzie is worried Clary may have been experimented on by her evil daddy, like Jace was and may be full of demon blood. Of course she isn’t, she’s waaay too special for that

Unlike poor Izzy who trips the bathing alarm because if the addictive evil curey paste that Victor gave her. Hey, the evil healing paste is demonic and he totally forgot to mention that. Oh and he totally didn’t know they’d have a purity test. Since demony stuff apparently stops the magic swords they’re making working properly and this happens to everyone who enters their fortress I rather think this would be more common knowledge.

With Izzy properly sidelined, Clary gets to be the special one who speaks to the Iron Sisters, speaking to Cleophas. Iron Sister and sister to Luke. She reveals that the stolen sword is also an anti-demon blood genocide nuke (which will kill all downworlders) which is most troublesome. Also Jocelyn isn’t an angel and isn’t the reason why Clary has the special sunny rune of sunniness. She’s just special. (Clary has insisted her mother was an angel despite the clear proof this is not the case).

Izzie also overhears all this and reports to evil/incompetent Victor despite the whole demon-paste thing

Victor also hates Jace and thinks he’s untrustworthy on account of his vast untrustworthiness (let’s face it, he has a huge point here) and is trying to drive Jace out

Time to catch up on the relationship that isn’t – Alec and Magnus. Magnus resorts to sending an emergency message so he can finally spend 5 minutes with Alec (honestly, this is the relationship fandom is raving about, really? This episode represents literally 80% of their conversations which aren’t about Jace/Clary. And all they talk about is how Alec is a total virgin and Magnus has slept with All the People in the History of Forever. It’s doubly awkward because they HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP but suddenly we’re discussing past partners? Hey they’re even talking about being in a relationship when they literally spend no time together!

But they go home and kiss…. And that’s when Jace arrives looking for a spare room. Really. Really. Jace it’s bad enough that all their conversations are about you but you have to cockblock as well? You are the WORST straight friend ever. Also, since when does Jace have a relationship with Magnus that means he can couch surf at Magnus’s? What does Magnus owe him for that? Seriously “semi-relationship with guy who has a constant unrequited crush on you” is not a couch “mi casa es su casa” situation!

This constant service is aggravating.

Speaking of – hey remember Luke? The rest of the cast has blatant remembered him. And by “rest of the cast” I mean Simon since Luke and Magnus are double teaming as his mentor

Rafael has also put in a shift by wiping Simon’s mother’s mind because seeing Simon chewing on rats is not something she’s dealt well with. One memory wipe later and that’s all fine. He goes looking for Luke and checks in with his pack which is generally not giving a shit. I don’t blame them, as one pack member points out, Luke has generally not given a shit about the Pack since, well, ever, being far far far far too busy serving Clary & co rather than actually helping the people he’s supposed to lead

We do meet Maia, a werewolf who owes a lot to Luke as her mentor and is happy to join Simon looking for him. They decide that Luke has probably gone off somewhere to be alone so consumed with bad emotions about Jocelyn’s death that he can’t control his shifting. He’s out in the woods killing deer

Simon decides he knows where this is – where Luke used to take him and Clary camping. Because if I were a werewolf risking running out of control, I’d totally go somewhere where I know small children camp!

On the way Simon and Maia bond a lot about geeky things, their most embarrassing moments as a downworlder and generally have a great time together. They really work well, despite his babbling. These two have more bonding in one episode than Magnus and Alec have had in 2 seasons.

They find Luke and Simon uses childhood memories to bring him back to reality and now chow down on passing campers, nom nom nom.  Luke is back in the game to serve again.

Meanwhile his sister, Cleophas, has decided to leave the Iron Sisters and stab one of her fellows in the process. Well that’s one dramatic resignation letter.