Vampire Diaries, Season 7, Episode 9: Cold as Ice

Oh yay, Christmas themed episode. Father Christmases everywhere. Did I ever mention how much I hate Christmas music? Because I really really hate Christmas music. I mean, really. I don’t think I like one single Christmas song. Not one.

Anyway we have Stefan and Damon trying to take down the much more powerful Julian by following him around and hoping lightning randomly strikes him or something. Honestly it’s the same tactic they’ve been using since they decided to kill various Originals – the brothers Salvatore have absolutely no concept of the idea that people can be more powerful than them. Ancient vampires, heretics, witches – if they ever came across god Damon would be first in line to try and strangle him.

It, predictably, goes wrong but the plot armour is strong with them. But the real point of this storyline is for Julian to remind us about his scary sword of anti-vamp-ness and for Stefan, Julian at al to repeatedly push Damon to be all sad-panda about Lilly. Look, can we not do this? Or if we are going to do this, can we at least have some acknowledgement that it’s cruel and wrong to try and force someone to reconcile with an abusive/neglectful parent or make nice with someone they consider an abuser. Yes we can argue about whether Damon is accurate in his depiction of Lilly, but we cannot argue that he sees Lily as complicit in the abuse he suffered as a child. It is cruelty to expect him to love her, comfort her or express affection for her – it compounds the abuse he suffered. Flesh and blood does not overrule abuse and this is just another way we hurt abuse victims.

As an extra lump of awful is the depiction of Julian. See Julian was an evil arsehole who kicked a pregnant woman until she miscarried and was trying to collect a full set of evil cards. That was concerning – but now we have to be REALLY worried. Why? Because he’s gone insane.

Yes, that trope AGAIN. Originals recently pulled the same thing. Never mind how evil all the apparently neuro-typical characters are, never mind the bodies they drop, never mind the torture and murder they indulge it – it’s the insane ones you REALLY need to worry about. There’s an added element that “insane” is usually the diagnosis here. Not any particular mental illness – just a generic violent psychosis with no real attempt to link it to real mental illness. I mean look at Julian – he has been “driven insane” by suffering a terrible ordeal. Ok… so he has PTSD? Hallucinations? Night terrors? Perhaps agoraphobia and anxiety, flashbacks even catatonia? How about actually examining a character with PTSD rather than just using “suffered trauma” as an excuse for “psychotic murderer.”

American Horror Story, Season 5 (Hotel), Episode 9: She Wants Revenge

Now about 80% of all the bazillion plots that are littering this show have all decided to be messily inserted into one episode. Really, all it does is highlight just how messily stuffed this show is. Part of this really shows by the exposition that is pasted on top of things

So we have the Countess who is duly pissed in general about her one-true-love-and-creator Rudy and Natasha (who she doesn’t really give a shit about and plans to kill) being locked up by James. She expositions in elaborate, poetic and quite beautiful style about how very very pissed she is. I would say this is unnecessary info-dumping but praise it for at least being pretty info-dumping but it IS necessary – it’s necessary because we have so many plot lines it’s easy to forget that the Countess is pissed or really cares that much about Rudy – especially after we have the serial killer episode last week

Which, by the way, is completely absent this week. There’s not even a reference. Both of these plot lines really do not belong in the same show. It’s like two shows had a violent collisions, the actors got concussion and confused and accidently stumbled into the different sets but kept reciting their lines regardless of relevance and both the poor directors are trying to make it work.

We also have Ramona and Donovan back on their revenge kick. And we got some more Ramona’s backstory – which was kind of nice to have her developed. It was extremely touching and meaningful and tragic – and finally we see a show that really sells the tragedy of immortality. I enjoyed that a lot – though even though the painful nature of caring for someone with Alzheimers was beautifully depicted it was still that very classic depiction of disability: a burden, a tragedy for others, a pain other people have to endure.

And then this storyline ends up being cut off with Donovan double crossing and double crossing and making one of the most ridiculous decisions I’ve seen in a long time.

Yes, that storyline appears to be over – Ramona made a couple of cameo appearances and is now locked away. What a completely pointlessly dismissive way of using this character. And cameo pretty much sums up this storyline as well – it isn’t a storyline, it’s a brief interlude

Supernatural, Season 11, Episode 9: Oh Brother, Where Are Thou?

Ok first note – if you’re going to call your episode “oh brother, where are thou?” you might as well spring for “art” and go for a full olde English route.

This episode finally upped the stakes on the whole Amarra storyline, far more so than we’ve seen so far. Ok, Amarra has always been powerful and kind of scary – through the King of Hell around and all that, but she was somewhat confined in her antics. Sure she killed people and ate their souls but it was hardly on scale of some of the big bads we’ve seen

Here, the stakes have been raised. The sister of god is bringing her divine wrath to her brother in an epic sibling on sibling fight. In a show that has repeatedly shown epic forces being well and truly epic, Amarra managed to still establish herself as at least on par with what we’ve seen before. She runs amok among churches and street preachers, challenging their faith and becoming increasingly enraged by what she sees as the callous manipulations of god, her brother and his egotistical need to be worshipped (which I really found interesting because “egotistical” is not an unreasonable reading of the Bible. A jealous, angry god who loses his shit at people not giving him proper respect is pretty much canon).

What is also interesting about this is that it does raise the question of how to deal with Amarra because her violence isn’t random and indiscriminate. Her slaughter was expressly to call out her brother. She only targets overt depictions of faith – not to say that’s even remotely good, but it does suggest that the theory that Amarra is going to destroy all of god’s creations isn’t accurate (or isn’t accurate unless god continues to hide behind his creations rather than face her outright).

It's All Mommy and Daddy's Fault

© 2007 Jason Taellious, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

Our first influences in life are our parents. Along the way, perhaps, our teachers, pop culture or friends also weigh in to change our perspective in life but our parents usually have the longest and most dramatic hold over us. It’s hardly a surprise then that when it comes to speculative fiction that parents have become a recurring trope in many ways. We have discussed dead mothers and absent fathers ad nauseum but what we haven’t looked at is the placing of blame for horrendous actions on one’s parents. Yes, really, it’s a thing I swear.

For me, perhaps the most pervasive example is Klaus from The Originals. Klaus would have us believe that were it not for the fact that he is the child of an affair and that his parents were so cruel, that his artistic soul would have soared through the stratosphere and he would have given the world great works of art to cherish forever. Clearly, he hasn’t looked at his own art. There’s no doubt that Mikael was an abusive parent but none of Mikael’s actions explain and or justify Klaus’s bloodlust. Sure, Esther lied to Klaus repeatedly but does that give him the right to control every single woman he interacts with?

Klaus has even started to get counseling for his mommy and daddy issues with Cami. I’m not knocking counselling but let’s stop and think for a moment about the fact that Klaus is 1,000 years old. The events that he is most upset about happened a millennium ago. There’s holding a grudge and there’s blaming mommy and daddy because you don’t want to take responsibility for your own shit.  I think that we can agree that Klaus easily falls into the later. He repeatedly uses his pain and his damage to make himself more appealing to women. It has just become another weapon in his arsenal, no matter how many times he gets all teary eyed and tortured artist.  

Jafar  from Once Upon A Time in Wonderland is quite similar to Klaus. Jafar entered his father’s castle under false pretexts and worked as a servant for the Sultan for quite some time. After Jafar revealed his true identity, Jafar’s father not only abandoned and rejected him, he ordered Jafar to be taken out with the garbage.  In this moment, Jafar swore revenge and turned to the dark side. To that end, Jafar would kill, deceive, steal and torture until finally he had his father in his grasp. No matter what evil he did, Jafar could not come to any kind of closure about his parentage.  In fact, his greatest wish was for the Sultan to call him son, a wish that would be denied repeatedly. Jafar is actually willing to rewrite the entire rules of reality to compel his daddy to love him, no matter who he destroys or what suffering he brings.

Then you have people like Rumpelstiltskin, who hit the Daddy issues from two sides of the equation. Rumplestiltskin’s father is Peter Pan and Pan is certainly not the friendly, childlike creature that we first met in Barry’s books. The Pan in Once Upon A Time, is angry, calculating, evil and willing to sacrifice anyone to get what he wants. Sounds like Rumpelstiltskin is a chip off the old block doesn’t it? To his credit, Rumplestiltskin does blame some of his decision on his cowardice and love of power but he does suggest that at least an element of his ongoing problems are based in his daddy issues.  

Then you have Rumplestiltskin as a father to Neil. Rumplestiltskin knows that he is a failure as a father and that is obvious by his ongoing obsession with the fact that he deserted Neil.

“I wanted to look for you, but I was too afraid that you wouldn't forgive me because I never forgave myself. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I don't regret having left you.”

Rumplestiltskin constantly invokes Baelfire and connects it to his shame but Baelfire never really serves as motivation for real and lasting change. Ultimately, what Rumpelstiltskin wants to do is to do all the heinous things he desires, exercise his power, and manipulate everyone in sight, all while whining about his failure as a father to garner sympathy or claim justification. Baelfire is like a trump card that Rumplestiltskin pulls out of back pocket when he needs to humanise himself. Oh he has Daddy issues but they are convenient Daddy issues.

About a Vampire (Argeneau #22) by Lynsay Sands

This is the book fans of the Argeneau series have long been waiting for.  The handsome Justin Bricker is sent on a mission to do away with the remains of some rogues and as luck would have it, Holly Bosley arrives at the funeral home because she forgot to file some papers.  Justin tries to control her but Holly takes off running in fear.  When Holly trips and dies by accidentally stabbing herself, Bricker uses his one turn to change Holly into an immortal.  It's not a wasted turn however because as luck would have it, Holly is Bricker's soulmate.

Bricker is confident that it will be easy for him to win Holly over.  He's never had any trouble with the lades before. Bricker is absolutely handsome and unlike many of the older immortals, he is in touch with what is going on.  What Bricker didn't plan on is the fact that Holly is not a single woman. Even if Holly doesn't immediately run back to her husband when she learns about her new status, immortal law forbids Bricker from interceding in a marriage.  Apparently the punish involves having one's genitals torn apart repeatedly. Sounds pleasant doesn't it?

Holly quickly accepted the fact that she was an immortal but she did not suddenly fall into Justin's arms as he had hoped. I actually liked the idea that someone would chose to be faithful and not just leap because the grass looked greener on the other side.  When Holly did go back to her husband, she found out why we aren't meant to read the thoughts of others. Though her husband continued to be caring and concerned, the thoughts that he had were not always generous.

As a love interest, beyond her faithfulness to her husband, I cannot say that I was enamored with Holly.  Holly is yet another human female love interest who is insecure about her looks. Can we just have one love interest who hasn't got body issues please?  It was made worse by the fact that of course when the nanos entered her body, they got rid of her muffin top and her few other "problem areas". I suppose the idea that people are perfect as they are is completely and utterly lost on Sands. Humans became instantly attracted to Holly and even her seemingly heterosexual female friend was flirting with her.  Not cool Lynsay Sands, considering the erasure of GLBT characters in this series. Holly also took a break in school to put her husband through university and was considering bowing to pressure to put her education on hold again to earn money.  So, not only did Holly have low self esteem, she was also the self sacrificing do it all for my man type of woman.

iZombie, Season 2, Episode 9: Cape Town

So, melodramatic super hero. Whose antics get him murdered. Lesson learned, if you’re going to be a super hero you better have the super powers to back it up.

At home Liv and Major are arguing, Liv used his phone (and finger) to try and find out if he was cheating on her which is a major violation of privacy while Gilda (at the other end of the phone) convinced Liv that he actually was. Snooping vs cheating – with Major getting annoyed that Liv is alternating between “how dare you” and “sorry Major, I can’t help the messed up brain” which causes Liv to have an excellent come back – try living with it. Because living with the brain constantly changing your personality/mind is waaay worse than just witnessing it.

Ravi groggily interrupts their fight for the crime – where Clive tells them that Chris, the dead man, was well known for his vigilante shenanigans and his body being disposed of wasn’t unexpected.

Ravi also excellently just tell Liv “no, don’t” every time she lets the stalker brain run with her.

They get the body back to the morgue and it’s clear Chris regularly sustained injuries in his super-hero guise which Liv considers foolish and ineffectual while Ravi is impressed by the self-sacrifice and courage of it. He’s in geeky heaven. Of course Liv is snacking down on brains.

Which means she’s melodramatic super-hero when going investigating, interviewing Stacey Boss (the crime lord who Peyton is trying to bring down) dressed as Father Christmas who manages to be sinister.

Blaine, alas, has annoying minions – Donny brings a wounded man to him. Blaine recognises him and I not amused. He’s not in the saving people business so brings the injured guy to Liv and Ravi to heal.

While Ravi and Liv are not really capable of saving a man in a morgue, Blaine suggests zombifying him: she objects but the dying man is the only one who knows how to make/where to get the tainted Utopian that Ravi needs to find a zombie cure.

Liv turns him – and Blaine gives him some zombie induction. And the offer to find brains.

The man, Drake, seems quite grateful to be zombified – so far. But he doesn’t have the Tainted Utopian, he does know two guys who had loads. Which they swallowed – and were then murdered by Stacey boss and buried. So there’s a lot of Utopian out there but it’s going to take some grave robbing. Well, grave finding first. And, bonus, Stacey Boss is also looking for them.

Meanwhile the murder investigation uncovers a whole pack of wannabe super heroes. And if Clive doesn’t finally realise something is up with Liv after this episode I will despair of his character. The gang of misfits were being recruited by Chris to take down Stacey Boss and his shipment of guns which even they considered… unwise

Real World Settings I Would Like to See in Urban Fantasy

One of the beauties of urban fantasy is that adept writers are able to incorporate real world locations into almost any storyline. Suspension of disbelief is one the first concepts taught to film school students and in many creative writing classes. Setting stories in real places with historically accurate facts woven into the storyline makes suspension of disbelief easier. I have come up with a list of places that I think would provide worthy settings.

Alcatraz

Image Source:  irene-travelogue.com

Of course the TV series already exists, but the island’s inhabitants are the story. Alcatraz was home to some of the country’s most notorious citizens for three decades. The island is cold, damp, and frequently enveloped by a fog so thick that the lights of nearby San Francisco are completely hidden.
If one looks at the various legends surrounding Alcatraz, the case can be made that the island itself is home to some sort of malevolent force. Some Native American folklore suggests that tribes often exiled members to the island as punishment. The US government’s actions on Alcatraz consist of few, if any positive highlights. Even before The Rock was established as the Federal Penitentiary of choice for those deemed the most dangerous (and escape prone), the island was home to other prisons. Injustices and atrocities can be credited to both sides, including harsh treatment of the original Native Americans on the island to the often brutal treatment of inmates that led to a number of them going insane.

Untamed (House of Night #4) by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

This is the part where I have to pretend there’s a plot to summarise… due to the machinations of Cyna and Mavrynthia and Merriska and I am doomed to reading 4 of these books, in 4 weeks. 

There is not enough booze in the world

Ok, Zoey is feeling isolated with her friends turning on her – which is a problem because have several prophecies. One that predicts the rising of a dark and terrible force – and one which predicts Zoey’s death if she is alone

She needs to rebuild some bridges quickly

There’s another element of these books that is increasingly annoying me – the authors seem to think their readers are fools, blithering fool without a scrap of reasoning who need everything explaining veeeerrrryyy slooowly and veeerrryyy carefully and over and over to make sure it sinks in. This is why the book is so full of recapping, every element of the last book repeatedly hashed over not as Stand Alone Stuffing, but because the authors seem to have that little opinion of the intelligence of their readers. We see the same thing when the characters discuss a “cryptic” prophecy. The meaning of it is obvious, I mean really really really obvious. It’s impossible that any characters, especially purportedly intelligent characters, couldn’t have easily interpreted it in second. But instead the characters describe it and work it out in ludicrously excessive detail to explain it to the readers – there’s no assumption of even basic reader intelligence to work things out on their own or even realise the obvious. It had to be spelled out step by step in ridiculous detail.

It makes the book – already slow and lacking in any real development or action – even slower and more painful to read

And can we address that element as well? Nothing happens! Not until the very end of the book when Zoey and gang finally bravely run away. All through the book they just kind of hang around and mope. I would say they were developing their relationships or resolving conflicts or making plans – but none of that is true. Because they don’t.

It’s not like there AREN’T conflicts but they don’t take effort to resolve. All her friends hate her? That takes two paragraphs to resolve. Aphrodite doesn’t know where she stands? A paragraph. A prophecy to interpret? Takes pages but zero effort. We have a trip to a feral cat shelter which achieves… well… nothing, it’s just there. We have lots and lots and lots of circle casting with little achievement. Hand wringing about Stevie-Rae without any real advancement or thought. There’s no effort or drive or difficulty it all works out