Dark Angel, Season 1, Episode 20: Meow

 

Logan is still fixing his mechanical leg brace and is very frustrated by how long it’s taking to get all the parts. Sebastian points out somewhere that may have the part – if he knows a super cat burglar who might be able to acquire it. Logan wants to keep Max out of the loop and Sebastian advises a little white lie (personally, I advise telling the super-soldier killing machine the truth – but I have this pesky insistence of trying to keep all my organs in their proper places).

Max agrees after Logan makes up the most ridiculous lie you can imagine. Is keeping the being able to walk again so necessary a surprise that it’s worth asking Max risk her life for a lie?

That night Max sees Mantecore attacking. She knocks one soldier unconscious and takes the gun off another – holding him at gun point she makes him strip (well, shirtless – you’d think Mantecore soldiers would be able to follow orders better than that) and lay on the suddenly appearing bed – Max crawls on top of him… and he turns into Logan and Max wakes up. Yes, a not particularly fulfilling sex dream.

Yes, the title of this episode is “meow.” Why? Because Max is a transgenic super soldier. And to give her super fighting abilities the clever clever people at Mantecore gave her the reflexes of a cat. Literally. And in doing so also gave her the hormonal cycle of a cat – sending her into heat and basically making her very very horny at random intervals. Frankly, it doesn’t make the tiniest bit of sense and I’m bewildered as to why Dark Angel, that does so much so right, looked at this programme and decided that Jessica Alba in tight leather wasn’t sufficient appeal to the straight male gaze and they needed to drop these episodes in as well.

There follows multiple times of Max lusting after men and Original Cindy stepping in to stop her even while giving Max the advice “if you have an itch, go scratch”, no understanding why, if Max wants sex so badly, she doesn’t have it (and teasing poor Sketchy). This continues through her work day (including her fixing on Normal) and getting the chip for Logan. This means Logan gets on his feet again because the exo-skeleton works – but his surprise for their date goes on hold as Max calls and cancels, unable to control her horniness.

Over at Mantecore, Lydecker is getting pouty because Renfro has managed to blame him for Tenga’s “escape.” All the while he’s secretly being watched by Zack. Lydecker questions Brin about what happened and gets confirmation that Agent Sandoval (one of his lackies who has gone over to Renfro it seems) was one of those working with Renfro.

Lydecker meets one of his contacts for the South African government who has been trying to buy transgenic technology for some time – though he’s always refused. This time though, they say they can find Max because of the chip in her neck – if he’ll trade some technology on their older prototypes. He agrees – and signs the authorisation pointedly using Sandoval’s pen. Sandoval passes the information to Renfro who believes Lydecker is getting desperate to restore his reputation – and believes it’s time tom set up the killer drone to neutralise Lydecker.

After driving out into the city, luckily avoiding the Red tracking beacon, Max meets up with the sexy pizza delivery man, Rafer, and ends up in bed with him. Afterwards she regrets it bitterly and cries in the shower, then beats herself up over it the next day. Thankfully, Original Cindy is there with a whole double handful of reality checks.

At Mantecore, Renfro is eager to get her hands on Max – still watched by Zack – and Sandoval arranges a quiet meeting with Lydecker to set him up for the drone. The killer drone arrives – and kills Sandoval, Lydecker switched the pictures.

Renfro tries to take over the Red team searching for Max, but the surprisingly alive Lydecker beats her to the punch and they draw their battle lines.

Haven Sneak Peak!

Haven Sneak Peak!

Review: Trapped by Kevin Hearne, Book 5 in the Iron Druid Chronicles

 12 years have passed since Tricked, and Atticus has finally finished training Granuaile all she needs to know to become a druid. The final step is to connect with Gaia and tattoo her with the Celtic knots that tie druids to the Earth, a process that should take several months.

Unfortunately, the only place this can be done is Europe. Not normally a problem, but druids don’t normally have long standing grudges with Olympic gods. Through their machinations, Europe is largely off limits to plane shifting, with only one place Atticus can travel to – the very foot of Mount Olympus, right under the gaze of Bacchus who very much wants him dead.

And the Olympians aren’t the only ones plotting. Dark elves and vampires are hunting Atticus for reasons unknown and even one of the Tuatha de Danaan is sending hit squads and spreading information about him. As word of him being alive gets out, more of his old grudges surface and he finds himself, again on many people’s hit lists and enmeshed in many schemes.

If that wasn’t enough – Loki has been freed. God of chaos, of trickery, of flame – he’s immensely powerful and terrifyingly unpredictable. The first shots of Ragnarok have been fired, Hel’s armies are marching and the Norse call on Attics to fulfil his obligation to them

All told, it’s quite a busy time for Atticus.

I feel, before I fall into full fanpoodling goodness, I should begin this with a caveat. I am a mythology geek. I love mythology. I love the obscure deities from a plethora of pantheons. I love the old legends and myths. I love even the rare and unusual tales that are lurking in the Celtic, Norse and Greek lore that rarely see the light of day.

As such the story telling, the info dumping, the random encounters and references, the sudden insights and all of that wonderful drawing on lore and history and ancient stories all pull me in and make me a very very very happy geek. Especially how it does use not just the major figures from the pantheons, but even the more obscure characters that are not well known today – it shows an incredible amount of research and knowledge of someone who has really delved into not just aspects of these old myths, but someone who has embraced them in their entirety.

To me, this makes for an excellent world. It makes for a world that is rich and full and has massive possibility. It means I can gleefully devour the book in seconds and grin over every little hint and every little story and character I recognise.

It also means that if you’re not a mythology buff or mythology isn’t a major interest of yours, you may find these moments drag a little and aren’t for you. To me, I loved them but I can see how it could be a matter of taste.

Even with the stories, the book is well paced with a lot going on to keep it exciting. Atticus has to try and find a way to bind Granuaile to the earth but has to do so in the teeth of a plot that involves vampires, dark elves, Tuatha de Danaan and Olympians. Trying to keep the various factions at bay long enough to get peace is a constant battle that requires many interruptions, desperate fights and lots of cunning. If that weren’t enough, we have some extra epic and excitement provided by Atticus’s commitment to the Norse and the threat that Loki, scarily powerful and terrifyingly unpredictable, presents yet another exciting force in the world. This book is very much one of being bombarded and being manipulated. Atticus and Granuaile stand in the middle of many plots and have many obligations and ties on them pulling them different ways. Not just the Norse, but Leif the vampire is pulling his own puppet strings, Brighit and the Morrigan are duelling over the leadership of the Tuatha de Danaan and there are machinations by unknown hands we don’t even know yet. And everything they do sets off a chain reaction in this crowded world – they manage to make Bacchus and Faunus back off, but in doing so risk offending both Olympian pantheons as well, is just one example. The sheer richness of the world means there are constant domino effects and real consequences to exerting any kind of power and influence in the world.

Misfits Season 4, Episode 2

 I’ve seen some shows with weird openings before, but this episode begins with Finn (I’m mentally tagging him as the Misfit you most want to slap, but then there’s Rudy, but I figure slapping Rudy is just lazy when there’s all the blunt instruments in the world you could easily find if you bothered to look), talking to his tied up and gagged girlfriend, Sadie, about why he doesn’t want to keep her tied up and how he loves her. He goes on about her being like an “addict” who needs a cure. Needless to say, I am sceptical.

Sadie responds by using a speaking toy to ask him to make love to her. After reluctance lasting seconds they start their fumbling way – until she tries to crush his head between her legs. He struggles and reaches for a cup above her, which is pulled by his power of telekinesis and lands on her head. She let him go and he tells her how angry he is with her and how he’s trying to make the “relationship” work. And then offers her a bucket if she needs to use the toilet…

Ok, Finn can join Rudy in the being bludgeoned by heavy objects category.

At the community centre Rudy is talking. No good comes from listening anything Rudy says so just insert the voice of Charlie Brown’s Teacher’s voice. His conversation includes rape and sex but he does manage to make it through the whole babble without on reference to his penis, this may be a record. He’s also been evicted from his flat. On the plus side Jess brings some wonderful sarcasm to the proceedings. Finn arrives late – with noticeable scratches on his neck

And today they are models in a clay sculpting class for the blind. Oh. Oh this is not going to be good. The Soon-to-be-dead probation officer threatens Rudy with rather a lot of menace (jolly good). And Curtis and Rudy fight over who gets to model for the attractive, blonde blind girl. Curtis wins.

At the pub later Rudy objects to this and is talking, again. He never really stops. Jess notices the barman, Alex so I assume he’s relevant and Curtis tells Finn about Seth, about his ability to deal in powers.  He quickly makes and excuse and runs home to tell Sadie that he’s found a cure and they’re going to be ok. This is when there’s a knock at the door and – Rudy has arrived. He forces his way in “inviting” himself to stay at Finn’s.

Of course, while there he notices the door that is covered in bolts and padlocks – and during the night hears Finn having a conversation with Sadie’s mechanical voice and sees him emptying the bucket.

Back to the community centre where Rudy tells Jess and Curtis and Ali, the blonde girl in the sculpting class, wants to swap models. When Curtis asks her why she says she wants to stick to “her own kind.” She’s a racist. Curtis calls that racism exactly what it is and tells Rudy who… is Rudy. He says things. He really should stop doing that, it’s a bad habit.

Seth arrives to collect Kelly’s things and Finn asks him about taking someone’s power, overheard by the rest of the gang. Rudy says things and Finn tells his story thinking Rudy has figured it out. He’s keeping Sadie prisoner because she has the power to mould Finn into the perfect boyfriend – by making him do whatever she wants. When she went on holiday he snapped out of it and when she came back he tied her up. Jess points out he could have just left her. He turns back and curses them out for judging him and that he won’t give up on Sadie because he loves her. Uh-huh, so says every obsessive stalker.

Rudy’s magic twin, however, has been sent to the flat to let her go (Rudy thinks she’s a talking dog. It makes sense with Rudy logic) who lets her go and helps her get into a taxi (her legs aren’t working well she’s been tied up so long) and away. When real Rudy and Finn shows up he calls Finn sick but Rudy, unsurprisingly, sympathises with Finn.

Revolution: Season 1, Episode 7: The Children's Crusade

 Charlie is being held down and branded as a member of the Monroe Militia.

Confused? Now we’re going to go 2 days earlier. Yes, I don’t like this trick either. Tell your story in order – storytelling 101

The team see another prisoner being taken by the militia, Charlie, of course, wants to leap forwards and rescue them but thankfully (or not) Miles is there to restrain her from total suicide. As they move on he tells her they can’t save everyone. She says nothing and seconds later they see an unconscious child – she rushes forward (of course) and it’s an ambush by lots of other kids with home made medieval weapons.

I think Charlie’s learning curve looks something like this: ________________________

They want to know where Peter is and check their arms to see if they’re militia. Seeing that they’re not, their leader, Michael starts to turn away but Charlie speaks up, asking if Peter is the boy they say being taken prisoner by the militia – yes he is and the leader’s brother. And they find there’s a whole camp of kids with no parents at all.

Their parents hid them in the basement when the militia came for them because they had an American flag and Peter was their leader, the oldest of them. They need to get him back so plan to launch an attack on the militia – which is likely going to be as messy as it seems. Charlie decides to intervene and volunteer them to help the kids get Peter back. This time it’s Aaron’s turn to politely ask Charlie what the hell she’s thinking (Miles may have worn out his “what the hell are you thinking” speech and come to the conclusion that she isn’t. Ever.) But this time Miles is on board as well – if they don’t save Peter the kids will try. Aaargh, the Charlienesss contagious! Suddenly I think I know why she is getting branded for the militia – Miles has sent her in to spread her spunkiness through the whole militia!

At Monroe central in Philadelphia Danny is having dinner with his mother, Rachel, and showing that the spunkiness runs in the family, not eating and trying to discuss leaving at the dinner table. Before she’s called to speak to General Monroe who tries to keep up the pretence he’s a host not a gaoler. Monroe is upset that they can’t find any of her colleagues with their pendants where she says they’d be. She points out she’d been out the loop for a little while – for some reason. But they did find one – Dr. Bradley Jaffey who has been there for 3 weeks and they’ve been “cracking” him. Rachel agrees to talk to him to encourage him to co-operate – which Captain Neville appreciates.

Flashback time! 3 years before the blackout when a very pregnant Rachel sees Ben, Brad and Grace explaining their project to a man from the Department of Defence that their invention to provide infinite clean power is a failure – but dramatically it disrupts all electricity. And him becoming very excited and willing to make them very rich. Rachel takes him aside to explain how very unhappy she is he's working with the DoD and they may make his invention into a weapon. Rachel, it's the department of defence "may" doesn't come into it.

Aaron doesn’t understand why Miles has suddenly had such a change of heart but Nora tells him that the kids they saw, all the orphans, became orphans while Miles headed the militia, it happened on his watch. Which is when Miles finds that Michael has followed them. Charlie tells him he has to go back but he refuses and Miles has the line of the night “irritating when a dumb kid tells you what to do.” Yes Charlie, it is. The Aaron matches it with “awesome, like a pack of hairless ewoks.” But during the hijinks with kids, Miles sees Aaron’s necklace and notices that Aaron is nervous about it. Any speculation’s cut short by finding Peter has been taken to a re-education camp.

Time for another flashback! Rachel having pregnancy problems with Danny, which brings us back to the present in Philadelphia where the worse-for-wear Dr. Brad is brought in for Rachel to talk to. Rachel is locked in a cage – saying she’s posing as a prisoner is wrong since she is a prisoner – just not this imprisoned a prisoner. She asks him if he hid the pendant (he did) and tells him they have friends among the guards. She tries to convince him to tell her where the pendant is, but he’s not a fool and becomes suspicious and clams up.

Next step is to put Rachel in her normal rooms and have Brad brought in. She warns him they will kill him and he says there’s worst things than dying – like betraying all your friends. She counters that they have her son. And Captain Neville arrives with his daughter – Rachel’s information made it easy to find her.

Steam & Sorcery by Cindy Spencer Pape Book 1 in the Gaslight Chronicles

Sir Merrick Hadrian is A Knight of the Order of the Round Table. His job is to use magic and steam technology to hunt down evil, whether it be human or supernatural.  One night on the trail of a vampire he is actually saved by a group of street urchins.  He is moved to take them on as wards, when the oldest boy shows signs that he has the skills to become a trained knight.  Suddenly Merrick moves from being a confirmed bachelor to a man with a house full of children he can scarcely control.  

His aunt recommends that he hire Miss Caroline Bristol to become a governess for the children.  After finding out that Merrick is a confirmed bachelor, Caroline is determined to down the job, having been accosted repeatedly by previous employers.  It is only because the children are so endearing that Caroline decides to accept the job.  What she does not realise is that this acceptance will lead to a discovery about her true origins, place her in mortal danger and introduce her to all of the supernatural elements that polite society simply cannot bear to acknowledge. 

Essentially, Steam & Sorcery is a romance based steampunk novel, with elements of fantasy like vampires, werewolves and fae.  I am going to say upfront that I am not a lover of the romance genre; however, the elements of this story made it interesting.  Caroline, the female love interest is very much her own person and an independent thinker.  She refuses to be left behind while Merrick investigates cases.  She actively listens for clues to help him and when the time comes, is not afraid to pick up an umbrella or a gun for that matter to defend herself and those she cares for.  She absolutely refuses to be bullied into playing the frail woman. 

I didn't expect to see a single character of colour or a GLBT character in this novel as they are often erased.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was wrong.  We are told that Nell is a little girl of colour, and Merrick believes that her father was Indian.  Nell herself is unsure where her family actually hails from because when they were together they traveled a lot. She is a sensitive and speaks to ghosts.  Caroline makes it clear that even with the advantages of being Merricks ward that English society is not going to be easy on her because of the colour of her skin.  

666 Park Avenue: Season 1, Episode 6: Diabolic

 After last episode, it’s no surprise that Jane is having nightmares about the man with the axe. Henry is comforting and 2 detectives are due to interview her. They arrive and Jane is very nervous.

Jane walks the detectives through what happened – but when they take her to the dumbwaiter she climbed up they find that it’s old, dusty and festooned with spiderwebs, clearly hasn’t been used in a long long time. They ask Henry if he saw either the person who was killed or the attacker – which he didn’t (and the body has disappeared). They start suggesting it was a hallowe’en prank. The detectives start throwing a whole lot of doubt at them and Henry snaps at them.

The next morning Henry finds Jane on the computer. She quickly minimises the screen when Henry arrives and goes to make pancakes. Henry checks the site and finds she is apartment hunting. At last, the common sense to run!

Henry catches up with Detective Cooper for progress since Jane is scared enough to want to leave and Cooper talks about her imagining things or being mentally ill, and detective Jarvis is even more abrupt – they found no body and no damage. They leave and Henry gets a phone call from Laurel, his PR stalker trying to jump start his political career – which means he has to go to a political lunch. At the lunch he does very well – but he thinks Jane should have been there. Laurel thinks Jane is a liability and she doesn’t understand city politics.

Gavin hears that 4 more of his properties had also been targeted, their security system’s hacked. Someone is sending a message that they can get to him – him and his wife. Gavin insists that Olivia not be told. He even calls a doctor – Dr. Scott (still carrying the bruise from Brian last week)- to test Olivia and take blood from her to check if she’s ok after the kidnapping. He also asks Dr. Scott to bring the results to him first – with a reminder of his underpayment of the rent. It seems, with his education loans, the doctor is living beyond his means. Ah a man in need! Gavin likes them – and a loan is arranged for $50,000. You’ll regret it, Scott.

When he gets the test results back, he tells Olivia it was just too much champagne and not enough food that made her faint, but when she leaves to make coffee, he tells Gavin it was chloroform. And we find out why Dr. Scott needs the money – he gambles, a lot. And he’s already getting his regrets when his chest opens in a serious of wounds – burns almost – spelling $50,000. That’s one hell of an IOU. He goes to see Gavin who refers to his gambling debt and offers him a different way to pay Gavin back – it’s useful to have a doctor on call. But that doctor had better come when he calls.

Gavin also magnanimously forgives Tony for his failing to keep Olivia safe last week and Tony thanks him for saving his life. Of course, Gavin has a job for Tony – he wants someone brought in for a meeting, someone who will probably refuse but he’s sure Tony will be persuasive.

In a building many scales less opulent than the drake, a man unpacks his back and pulls out Gavin’s spooky wooden box. He starts to open the box but he gets a call – saying he, Mr. Wallace, just earned a million dollars for the box. Wallace thinks if he’s willing to pay a million dollars for it, someone else may be willing to pay more. The voice instantly raises his offer to 3 million on the condition that Wallace does not open it.

2 gentlemen come to see Mr. Wallace and find him prone on the table, gasping and whimpering and unable to move – he doesn’t look well at all. One of them comments that he shouldn’t have opened the box, snaps the spooky box closed and takes it. His associate sets the place – and Mr. Wallace – on fire.

Once Upon a Time, Season 2, Episode 6: Tallahassee

Fairy Land Present

At the base of the bean stalk Emma tries to reconcile her knowledge of Jack and the Beanstalk and the reality in front of them – with Hook, at least, mocking her for the story’s dubious accuracy (and Emma’s less than perfect memory of it). Hook tells the real story – the Giants grew the beans that had the power to take them to different realms. But they used it so they could plunder all the realms. Jack and his people fought a terrible war, defeating all but one of the Giants. The beans were destroyed by the giants as they died so no-one else would have them. One Giant survived, the strongest of them all, they have to get past him to get the compass which is among the rest of the treasure the giants hoarded.

Cora has the wardrobe ashes to travel between realms but she can’t find their world without the compass. How’s that for an info-dumping introduction recap? Mulan still doubts Hook but he says they’re safer company, all he needs is a ride back. Extra problem, the Beanstalk is enchanted to repel intruders, you need a bracelet to allow you to climb – and he only has one other one. He invites them to fight it out for the other (Emma gives him the look he deserves).

Mulan argues she should go since she’s the best in battle, Snow argues she should go since it’s about getting home to their loved ones and Aurora argues she should go because… ye gods alone knows. Apparently because she has no loved ones (or talents). Personally I’d take Hook’s bracelet as well, have Mulan and Snow go (the ones with the most battle experience) and leave Emma behind to slap Hook every 10 minutes on general principles. Aurora can… I have no idea what Aurora can do.

Alas, that would be sense. Emma says she’s going because she’s the protagonist, damn it (basically). Which is also why no-one argues with her. She asks Mulan if she has anything that will help her kill a giant (“a hook!” Hook objects, yes he does). Emma and Mulan go off to a side and Mulan gives her poppy seeds (no, really) and Emma asks Mulan how strong her sword is. Mulan says the strongest in the realms and Emma asks Mulan to cut down the beanstalk if she’s not back in 10 hours. Mulan says Snow won’t like that but that’s why Emma’s asking her. Um… why? Because of the giant? He’s been content up there for some time. And Snow still needs the compass to find her loved ones – she might want to get a new enchantment and go up herself. What, if Emma can’t do it, no-one can? Anyway she announces “if I don’t get back you get her home” presumably by cutting off access to the compass which, as far as they know, is the only way to get home. She’s clearly not thought this through.

She goes back to hook and gets her bracelet – and gives him his hook so he can actually climb (or you could give his bracelet to someone you actually trust, I’m just saying).

They start climbing, Hook flirts and decides to psychoanalyse Emma, telling us many things which should have been obvious but, for some reason, the show feels the need to lamp shade about Emma’s character. He’s used to dealing with orphaned children, starved of love. And she tells him she’s never been in love.

On the ground, Mulan rests while Snow keeps watch and Aurora stays up with her. Aurora doesn’t sleep much any more since she was under sleeping curse and has terrible nightmares. Snow, sympathises, she had the same problem after she was cursed. Snow says she’ll watch over Aurora while she tries to sleep. Snow plays mother to Aurora when she has nightmares and needs talking down and back to sleep.

Emma and Hook reach the top of the beanstalk, the devastation of the last battle between the giants and Jack’s forces. Emma’s cut her hand so there follows Hook flirtily treating it and Emma noticing and commenting on his tattoo of Mila. And she puts 2 and 2 together and realises Rumplestiltskin took Mila from him.

Time for the plan – hook makes noise while Emma, perched on a statue, blows the knock-out poppy seeds into the giant’s eyes. It starts well – the giant is attracted – but the size of him surprises Emma since he’s far higher than her perch on the statue. Hook distracts the giant causing him to bend to reach for him – and in doing so bring his face into range of Emma’s poppy seeds – and he collapses.