Blood Wager (Blood Destiny #1) by Connie Suttle

Lissa was an ordinary, late middle aged woman reeling from the grief of losing her husband and trying to find some solace in the bottom of a glass.

Which is when the vampires notice her – not for any good reasons, but for a cruel bet on whether someone they regarded so pathetic would turn into a vampire and how soon, to be disposed of as soon as they had their answers

But the newly vampiric Lissa escapes. She builds a new life for herself, far away from her erstwhile creator, getting  a new job and becoming embroiled in a werewolf pack

She hasn’t gone unnoticed by the Vampire Council, however; she is technically a rogue, a vampire created without their knowledge and one who has not been properly educated. Rogues are usually killed and Gavin, an assassin, is dispatched to do just that

This book starts pretty poorly, I have to say. It’s slow, it’s clunky and the whole set up of the story requires some vast leaps of coincidence that stretches any attempt to maintain a willing suspension of disbelief.

Lissa becomes a vampire in dubious circumstances – but I was fine with that. I was less fine with how extremely quickly she became a vampire, how extremely quickly she learned the ins and outs of being a vampire. I felt that whole section was somewhat fast forwarded through when it should have been a compelling part of Lissa’s story. I think we get some good scenes of her frustration about being a vampire without an instruction manual – but she does so extremely well without it! We also had some good scenes of her grief and regret of leaving her old life – but they’re brief scenes, especially considering her grief over her recently deceased husband, the family and friends she left behind, her job et al. She has some nice grief scenes but they feel limited.

So… we’re stretching. Then she decides to become a bodyguard – she has zero experience in this field, no idea of the technology or laws or regulations involved and is completely incapable of working anything but the night shift – but she applies anyway and gets the job because she can use her vampire wiles to beat up another bodyguard. She’s hired as a full time body guard because she can fight, that’s it (at least they do eventually hand wave the lack of background check, etc).

And, chance of chances, she ends up being a bodyguard to werewolves. Pure random chance after answering an ad in the paper. There follows a series of events that just occasionally throw me – like her forgiving William for something he did and I didn’t see why she would – it just seems to be silent treatment then reconciliation (though it does take time, I have to concede that, she doesn’t instaforgive). Or why she’s farmed out to another pack as bodyguard – are vampires that much more dangerous than werewolves? If so, how does it follow that vampires and werewolves have nearly driven each other to extinction in their war?

Also, are we supposed to regard the sale of the super powerful facial recognition software to the NSA as a good thing?

Fangs for the Fantasy Book of the Week

Every week on the Fangs for the Fantasy podcast (archives here) we read a book and discuss it on the show. The review for the book of the week always goes up on a Monday.

To give people a chance to read along with us, every Monday we’re also going to include a list of our planned books of the week for the next few shows, so people can get the books, read them and join in the conversation.

 Our podcast will be at 7:00pm EST tonight 

9th December - 16th December: Blood Wager by Connie Stuttle
16th December - 22nd December: Goblin Quest by Jim C Hines
22nd December - 6th January: Tempest Unleashed by Tracy Deebs
6th January - 13th January: Fury of the Demon by Diana Rowland
13th January - 20th January: Bloodlines by Eileen Wilks

Atlantis, Season 1, Episode 11: Hunger Pangs

Jason wanders around the market, hungry and virtually penniless. And he can’t get credit because, as a friend of Hercules, he’s not trusted for a loan. He resorts to stealing a loaf of bread, which he does rather ineptly, dunking it in the waters of the fountain followed by the bread seller as well. He escapes by hiding in n unoccupied building

An unoccupied people with incense, lots of dead animals, skulls and spooky, idol-like statues. An unoccupied building with an altar. An unoccupied building with an altar that has a bloody knife on it and a cut of meat.

And he takes the meat. I would say “he’s starving, that could make him silly” but this is Jason and Atlantis, let us be honest and say that he would always do something this foolish.

He takes it home but finds Pythagoras and Hercules are out – and he eats the meat. All of it. Hiding the bone and plate when Pythagoras returns (he’s been at the tavern with Hercules trying to shake him out of his depression over Medusa before being driven off by Hercules’s surliness). Pythagoras almost catches him before Hercules staggers in, drunk and incapable. Well, even more drunk and incapable than usual.

A man enters the altar room Jason stole the meat from, sniffing like an animal. When he finds the meat missing, he roars showing animalistic fangs.

And Jason wakes up the next day curled up on the floor, much to Pythagoras’s bemusement. Finding no breakfast again, they join Pythagoras on a job he’s got for them – killing rats in a warehouse. At the job Jason tracks a rat, by smell, crawling on all fours and destroying half the warehouse in his hunt. When the owner arrives and is a little miffed, Jason knocks him down – Pythagoras and Hercules quickly hurry him out.

During the night Jason disappears. Pythagoras is woken by the sound of something moving in the house and goes to look, following the sound outside – and briefly seeing a wolf. He hurries back into the house, locks the door and finds Jason missing.

The next day, Jason wakes up filthy, bruised, covered in feathers in a chicken coop. He makes his way home, awkwardly given the nakedness, to find both Pythagoras and Hercules up and waiting for him. He doesn’t remember anything, he just woke up naked in an animal pen (something both Hercules and Pythagoras consider a something that happens now and then). Pythagoras puts in the behaviour changes and presses Jason to think about what he’s done or where he’s been. He describes the shrine

Pythagoras checks it out and comes back with the joyful news – it’s a temple to Hecate. Goddess of Witchcraft; Hercules again marvels at Jason’s ignorance and they both marvel at the sheer foolishness of eating sacrificial food to the gods.

Grimm, Season 3, Episode 7: Cold Blooded

“But for the pit confounders, let them go, and find as little mercy as they show!”

We see someone loading up lots of shiny loot in some place underground.  He has quite a horde. We see him go to add to his collection, breaking into a house and taking, well, everything and anything of value (especially shiny silver). He’s interrupted by the son of the home owners and attacks him – wogeing into a whole new ugly wesen to kill the guy.

Nick and Hank to the crime scene and the guy has had his arm ripped off, it’s very very messy. And had size 15+ footprints – Nick thinks they’re dealing with another Siegbast. At the police station they confirm there has been a whole string of burglaries but never before with someone home. The medical examiner – who has been too long absent from this show – confirms that something big and strong shook the man to death and broke his neck.

Elsewhere in the city a worker is clearing blockages in the tunnels under the city – and runs into the Wesen. They other workers pull his mangled body back out of the hole.

Nick, Hank and Wu to the crime scene – the deputy ME calls the injuries similar to a bear attack (Wu goes with alligators, they being tunnels underground and all). The city worker leads the three underground to where the man was attacked (Wu doesn’t like the close spaces). They find blood where the man was attacked and a backpack, leaving a very nervous Wu with the backpack while they follow the blood trail. Nick tries to use his Grimmy senses but the subway trains are too loud to hear anything past. They leave after Wu finds the ripped off leg.

At the station they connect the various items found to several robberies and plotting them on the map, forming definite patterns in the city. The burglar hits the same neighbourhood several times in rapid succession before moving on. They do get a call from the ME on the bite mark on the victims – it’s alligator like

Time to talk to Monroe the Grimmopedia. It’s not a gator – and no, not a Siegbast either since they don’t’ like close spaces. It’s a Gelumcaedus  - Hank and Nick are very cute playing helpless and not knowing how to even spell the creature until Monroe invites them – and Juliette – to dinner and research.

Research party! Gelumcaedus are ancient Wesen (known in Roman times) who often go dormant and “live off their plunder” with an inescapable grip which caused one of Nick’s ancestors to make a shiny vambrace to fight one again. They need to confront him in the tunnels as a Grimm

Nick and Hank speak to someone about the storm tunnel outlets and she gives them a map – but warns them how hard it is to find anyone along the long tunnels but Nick and Hank track the intersections with the burglaries to see the likely source of the lair.

Haven, Season 4, Episode 13: The Lighthouse

Continuing right on from last week’s cliffhanger, Audrey puts her hand on Duke’s chest. There’s a flash of power – and she has a flashback of her and William together. She smiles, and it’s not a very nice smile. She snaps back to herself – but William has sensed her change

Nathan cuts his finger so Duke can test that his Trouble is back – his eyes turn, Duke is fully Troubled again. While this is a source of angst, Duke is more worried about Audrey and how giving Troubles is changing her.

Ben says goodbye to his baby and goes to get a blanket. Gloria, struggling with grief, tells Audrey why she is so very very sure there’s an afterlife – and they hear a gunshot. Duke comes out carrying the blanket Ben went for and gives it to Gloria. He tells her the baby can cry now. He doesn’t expect Gloria to forgive him – and she hugs him while crying. Gloria takes the baby and Duke walks off – but Jennifer hurries after him to hug him and reassure him about the lives he saved.

It’s a very touching, moving beautiful scene – and then Duke focuses on how he saw Audrey changed and is worried about what she’d become (I don’t like this. Yes this is a worry, return to that worry – but let that grief stricken, painful scene settle in before orbiting back to Audrey).

So back to kicking William out of Haven, which means focusing on the four people who need to go to the Lighthouse and open the portal. And it can’t be any four people it has to be the right four. And, of course, it’s vague about who they are only referring to where they’re from: basically, they have to have been born in another world.

Jennifer assumes she’s one – she can hear the barn, see the book and was left by Agent Howard. William came through the portal so he’s obvious – which makes Audrey obvious as well. They need the fourth (hey, Dave revealed he was adopted last episode…)

Everyone heads off to research (Dave still thinks it’s a bad idea to open the portal, Dwight and Duke consider William’s goons as good candidates while Vince and Dave look into adoptions) and Audrey talks to Nathan – she remembers her original self - Mara. And the memory is much deeper and stronger than any of the previous personalities she remembers. Also Mara is not a nice person – and Audrey can sense William now. So master plan, she pretend to be super eager and curious to know about Mara and when she distracts William, Nathan tranqs him.

Audrey goes to William and plays nice, he seems to fall for it and is really happy – but he leads her in the wrong direction for Nathan to get a good shot. Nathan has to try and follow them and set up elsewhere. William talks about how the barn hid her from him and Audrey tells him that Agent Howard called the barn Audrey’s punishment; William remembers her being dragged in. William is vague about who the person doing the punishing was

Duke and Dwight follow up on the goons, Dwight giving Duke more reassurance about killing Ben – and Dwight hiding the fact he’s coughing up blood which is then absorbed by his skin. That’s not good. They draw tasers and shoot the goons – and it doesn’t work. Not one iota… problem. But the goons sense something and leave – turning into the black goo and floating away. Just like the Rougarou – which means William made them, they’re not born on another world.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: Season 1, Episode 8: Home

Start with a flashback – Alice and Cyrus being all sweet and loving under the stars when her groping hands find a compass. It’s a memento of Cyrus’s mother – his human mother. Cyrus wasn’t always a genie and the compass points to his mother – as to whether that mother is alive or not, well, it stopped pointing some time ago.

All this sad and sweet musing is interrupted by men with swords wanting to catch themselves a genie who make the silly mistake of ignoring Alice. One nifty sword fight later and the swordsmen run – but Alice is injured and collapses.

In the present Alice and Knave watch the guards searching for Cyrus – which Knave calls good news because it means they haven’t found him yet. Alice thinks there’s one place Cyrus would go to be safe.

Switch to Cyrus running through the woods – and being hoisted up into the canopy by a trap. While he struggles, one of the Red Queen’s Tweedles hears the genie’s struggles through the grapevine (and then thanks said vine). But while going to report the fact to the Red Queen he sees one of his fellow Tweedles acting oddly – he follows the other and finds him meeting with Jafar, handing over something he stole from the Queen.

He hurries to report everything to the Queen, including his brother’s betrayal, then runs before she kills the messenger. Jafar has stolen the genie’s bottle.

Over to Alice and Knave and they’re heading towards the Outlands, the safe place (apparently absolutely miles away from everywhere). But first she wants to visit the White Rabbit – something Knave finds ridiculous since the Rabbit betrayed them. But Alice thinks they need to leave Wonderland to be safe, for which they need the Rabbit, besides she and the Rabbit were once good friends, there has to be a reason for his betrayal.

Flashback to Cyrus hurrying the injured Alice to the White Rabbit’s home where… Mrs. White Rabbit treats her wounds

Back to the present and the Red Queen collects Cyrus, telling him she’s taking him to his bottle. And Jafar gloats over having all three genie bottles together again before realising that the Red Queen is no fool. She’s switched Cyrus’s bottle for a fake.

Alice and Knave arrive at the Rabbit’s house and she’s surprised to find the grounds unkempt. They go into the house and talk to the Rabbit; he confesses his betrayal and how he cannot help them because the Queen has his family. They only solution is, of course, to rescue them – but that means finding them and the Rabbit has looked everywhere the Queen would hide something. Over to the Knave, he may not know where the Red Queen would hide things, but he knows where Anatasia would.

The Vampire Diaries, Season Five, Episode Ten: Fifty Shades of Grayson

Damon is still in his cell, punching the walls repeatedly.  He then gets down on the ground and grabs the bullet that Aaron dropped. He places the bullet in the rock and the puts it next to the lock. Damon creates a mini explosion and the finishes opening the door by kicking it.

Katherine wakes next to a sleeping Stephan and finds another lock of hair has fallen out and begins to panic. Katherine quickly wraps herself in a blanket and does the walk of shame.  As she approaches the door, Damon enters looking for Elena. Katherine proudly claims getting the dirty on with Stefan and Damon is clearly not impressed. 

Elena awakes and finds herself strapped to a bed.  When she looks around she finds herself surrounded by medical equipment.  When she sees Wes of course Elena wants to know where she is. Wes puts Elena out to begin blood dialysis.

Stefan wakes up to learn Elena is missing.  Damon explains about Wes and that they need leverage to find Elena.  Damon sits next to Aaron and suggests killing him for information.  Aaron tries to run but is confronted by Stefan.

Wes is continuing his experiment on Elena and commenting on the fact that even after a lot of blood loss she is still awake.  Elena assures him that her friends will find her.  Wes brings up Aaron and asks how what happened to his family can be justified. Elena counters by bringing up Wes's little medical experiments. Wes then shows Elena the medical findings of her father and informs her that he learned out to this from him.

The Tomorrow People, Season 1, Episode 9: Death's Door

So last week, after a moment of monumental foolishness that doesn’t come close to being realistic, John was captured. This week John is being tortured by the Founder who also makes the point that he is way way way more powerful than John. And way smarter. But then, there are species of algae smarter than John. Stephen rushes to stop the founder hurting John too badly but everyone keeps up the fiction that Stephen totally isn’t a double agent, honest. And John and the Founder reveal that John killed Stephen’s father

Stephen leaves and Cara contacts Stephen psychically (yes, in Ultra, the place where they couldn’t read Jedikiah’s mind last week because… reasons) and Stephen quickly covers up “John killed daddy” and warns Cara that the Founder will kill John soon.

Cara’s plan is to kidnap Morgan and use her to force Jedikiah to exchange prisoners. They track her down to a holiday property where she’s laying low. Morgan and Cara have a nice teleport/run/battle thing (including a moment where Morgan throws a tree at Cara which, if it hit, would totally have killed her) before Russell finally puts the cuffs on her – cuffs which switch off her powers.

With Morgan imprisoned, Cara delivers her ultimatum to Jedikiah.

At Ultra Stephen gets some alone time with John to ask about the whole killing his dad thing. John is repentant and wishes he could change it but Stephen questions the whole bemusing idea that John was setting Stephen’s dad up to be some kind of saviour ready to swoop in and save them all. Still, Stephen isn’t going to tell Cara John’s a liar because John gets to do that (never mind the small cult he’s built) and he’s even going to let the whole trying-to-kill-his-dad thing because Thanatos is real, which means his hallucination is real which means his dad is alive.

Ok, not the strongest chain of logic but it’s positively solid from a Tomorrow People point of view.

Stephen asks his mother about his father – wow, hey Stephen’s mother, it’s been a while! He asks about the Thanatos project but she wants to keep his father out of their lives.

At Ultra it’s Jedikiah’s turn to have alone time with John. Does Ultra have no protocol for dealing with prisoners at all? Anyway he wants to say goodbye to his “son”. John doesn’t react well to that. Jedikiah then has a meeting with his nephew to question why Cara still has powers when Stephen supposedly stripped them (why would you ever doubt Stephen? It’s not like he hasn’t given you weekly proof of his status as a double agent… oh wait). He’s guessed the whole stopping time thing. But it’s all totally ok because Stephen did it for love – and he can understand that because his loved one is also in trouble! Awwww, they’re so alike in motive (except the whole genocide thing). Of course, Jedikiah can’t rescue John…. but Stephen can

And when Stephen takes John his dinner, John leaps up, they both take out the guards and John takes Stephen “captive” (when Jedikiah was making his whole goodbye scene he slipped John a key). Using a gun, brief evidence that he can very much kill and shooting out a couple of D-Chips, John makes his escape.

John having escaped, Jedikiah and Stephen go see Russell and Cara and they pass over Morgan – but Jedikiah wants them to take Morgan and keep her safe. Of course it’s a huge risk since she could be used to track their safe location, but Stephen speaks for her and Jedikiah throws in threats and appeals to their very point of existence – looking after their own.

Back at the HQ, Stephen and John practice teleporting and freezing time at the same time to try and actually reach limbo (wait, can Stephen freeze time on demand now? And if he can… why doesn’t he?) though it’s not going well, and Cara knows that John is keeping something from her and is bemused that the Founder could be against them when he’s one of them (have you not come across agents before, Cara?) In a bemusing moment, John wants to confess all to Cara while Stephen thinks that it would be a distraction and since his dad isn’t really dead then why bother?

Time for Stephen to question his mother again (something of a clumsy segue), with added mind reading. She give sin and gives him the huge box of her dad’s research but warns him against putting his dad on a pedestal and being disappointed. She also realises Stephen has a secret – can someone explain to me again why he’s keeping this secret from her.

Jedikiah gets a grilling from the Founder and reveals that, yes, he has a secret – Morgan. It’s an affair of the heart and the Founder tells him not to get too upset “you’re only human”. Ooooh nice little stab there. Though he does expect Jedikiah to take care of it