Thursday, December 1, 2011

Cover Snark: The Sideways View: T&A for Everyone!

The cover of a book is very important because other than the name of the writer itself, publishers count on the image on the front to attract a reader enough to pick up the book and read the synopsis.  

One of the reoccurring tropes is the repeated display of women’s bodies exemplified by the oft use side view.

 And what are the advantages of the side-view? Why, tits and ass in one picture! Also let’s not forget the ever so popular arch.  Women must be sure to arch their bodies in such a way that both their breasts and buttocks are jutting outwards.  That this may cause back pain is no concern because that’s why chiropractors exist. 

For advanced students you can go with Tangled up there and twist at the hips as well - the best way to get a full on view of both breasts and backside to full effect.

Also notice that only the most curvy women are featured in the ever popular side view.  If you are flat chested and don’t have a booty that would make sir mix a lot cry,. Doesn’t it just make you want to sing:

This of course privileges a very specific kind of figure for women.

Naturally the clothing must be as tight as possible - tight black leather is preferred, but jeans that must be shrink to fit are also acceptable. Doesn’t t it all just scream wedgie and rash to you? As an extra bonus you should remove any of that pesky excess cloth as well - bellybuttons need to be bear at very least.

Do we have to say again that all of these women are supposed to be arse kicking heroins? And how despite all their strength and power this is how they’re displayed? This is how we showcase these vampire slayers, demon hunters, kick arse shapeshifters and truly lethal women? Instead of buying these books, it makes me think that we should be handing them one dollar bills.