Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Secret Circle, Season 1, Episode 15: Return

So we have a new episode of Secret Circle and Gale Harold has new hair and… hmmm… ok, I won’t be distracted, I must pay attention to the plot. Wait, must I? Gah I suppose I must.

So after many episodes of absence, Cassie’s grandmother, Jane (also known as The Only One With Sense) is actually coming home. So Cassie returns to the house to find it all open, someone’s there! She bravely grabs an umbrella and announces she has already called the police! Rather then, y’know ACTUALLY calling the police, or her magical coven, or her dark magic. That would be sensible. Sadly, it isn’t an axe murderer waiting to chop Cassie up into teeny tiny pieces, it’s Jake (Evil Scooby). Oh and the witch hunters are back with their crafty trick to kill witches – ash and salt.

Ok, mini break for a rant. Dear Witch Hunters, I’d like to introduce you to a concept. GUNS. One bullet, one witch, one ex-witch. C’mon you already figured it out with knives.

Anyway, Jake turns all he-man protector but Cassie shows an astonishing amount of sense and independence, kicks out Jake (he who, we have to remember, repeatedly consorts with said Witch Hunters because, alas, he has as much sense as the rest of the inhabitants of Chants Harbour) and makes it clear with her power she can defend herself.

Clearly, this display of independence and kick arseness has over-taxed Cassie’s quota, so we fast forward to Cassie’s new job (and plot distraction, after all, since when have any of these kids had less than infinite funds?) as a server in a coffee shop where Adam (the Wet Lettuce) shows her how to do it right. While, yes, Adam has been serving in his father’s bar for a long time, the whole scene reminded me of those skeevy men who try to teach women how to play golf by virtually groping them.

And it turns out that the Single Sensible Person is not returning home and Cassie just wants to go home to sleep in her own bed (reasonable) so she can be all alone at night when the Witch Hunters attack (less reasonable). But don’t worry, Adam will drop round (go Wet Lettuce) wow, it took all of, what, 5 minutes to undermine Cassie’s independent kick-arseness? That could be a new record.

And then daddy shows up – Richard Blackwell. Cassie’s second question? “Are you actually alive?” Uh-huh. And Cassie makes a start of being tough and resistant – but daddy was just keeping her safe! And he wants to meet her alone with no-one around! Wet Lettuce Adam is quick to try and point out some sense to her Spunkiness. But no, Cassie is determined to go and we have a big emotional scene on the pier. Of course he wants the medallion and Cassie, rather belatedly, tells him off and storms off into the hands of the Evil Black Witchunter. Yes, she’s been kidnapped. Thankfully these are witchunters so rather than stabbing her while she was unconscious, they surround her with special powder instead.

Cue the rescue attempts – first we get Jake being dramatic and rather useless rescue, offering Blackwell instead of Cassie (because deals with witchunters are great great ideas!) and he runs to get Richard to deliver him up for the totally-not-a-doublecross deal.

Meanwhile Faye is being Faye and Melissa is being a side-kick until Callum, the drug dealer, gives Melissa an invite to a party – which Melissa actually considers taking. See what I mean about zero sense? But Diana, Faye and Lee (White Voodoo Guy) decide to run to the rescue. At the party, Melissa is being showed drug-like voodoo by Callum (Bad White Voodoo Guy) who discovers Melissa is a witch. At least Melissa got out under her own steam and in the process learned that the totem Lee gave Faye actually takes power not gives it – so Melissa’s own little storyline? Was actually all about Lee and Faye. Typical.

What was this plot line? Just something to keep the women busy while the men chased after Cassie?

So the witch hunters do the double crossing thing which turns Cassie into a puppet to kill her dad (using magic, it seems) wow, that brief moment of independent agency Cassie had at the beginning is really being paid for isn’t it? And Jake being taken by the Witch Hunters who are *gasp* NOT TO BE TRUSTED! Oh my gods, WHO KNEW?! How could Jake have predicted this, they’ve only betrayed him and the other witches oh... MANY MANY times. And now he’s SHOCKED that they turn on them YET AGAIN?! Does he have short term memory loss or something?  Gah, I need a drink, the foolishness burns! Thankfully, while Jake has no brains, he does have a circle of witches rescue committee to save him. They’re using MAGIC to fight the witch hunters! AT LAST. Of course the dead bad guy disappears and escapes *eye roll*

Actually, if the magical incantations are going to be this poor, can we have less magic? Seriously, they don’t even rhyme! Charmed had better spells than this. So, in comes the circle to save the day! Yay, bring on the denouement.

So we now have the debate as to whether Richard Blackwell is evil or not, or whether he’s just super-duper angsty and whether he has reformed or not now he doesn’t have his power. But he’s hanging around to see how the evil witch hunters can use magic. (Can he also discover why they can’t use guns? 6 shots, all you need to kill the circle, just saying).

Lee and Faye continue down the path of twu lub or at least horniness to a rocking sound track. Diana is being haunted (or is it Melissa) and Cassie and Wet Lettuce are being sweet and googly.

And to conclude? Well I'm irritated that Melissa can't have a storyline that isn't directly furtehring soemone else's. Diana, Melissa & Faye are complete backing characters to the life of Cassie & Her Guys. I'm vaguely intrigued by Richard Blackwell, but I smell much angsting. The canon is still broken, and the conflict between the Witches and the Witch Hunters is still annoying as neither side brings any real force to bear