Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Almighty Johnsons Season One, Episode Nine: Hunting Reindeer on Slippery Rocks

This episode opens with Stacey and Michele getting Eva Gundersen ready to meet Axl.  Michele tells her that she is a goddess and that a plan has been laid out for her.  Anders gives Axl a credit card, of course the pin number is 6969.  Anders even hands over the keys to his apartment, not wanting Eva to see his apartment, hoping that Axl and Eva will have sex that very night, thus bestowing on him his full powers as Bragi.

At the restaurant, Eva and Axl clearly do not have much chemistry.  Eva also has daddy issues and considers Axl telling her that she is relatively normal a compliment. At Ty's, Anders wants to know what will happen when they get their powers back. Olaf quickly steers the conversation to Dawn and Ty.  He begins with a series of ever more intrusive conversations about what their sex life is like.  Ty tells him that Dawn believes that he has problems regulating his body temperature and has to wrap up to sleep. Ty says it's not the ideal relationship, but that he cannot tell her truth because she is at the mortal.  What I want to know is why Ty is even answering Olaf's questions to begin with?  I don't care how close you are to someone you don't invade their privacy that way.

Before Axl and Eva can share a kiss Stacey shows up.  Anders is not the least bit content that things did not go further with Eva, but Axl says that he felt sorry for her because her old man is a bastard and that he is angry about the way she has been treated.  This should have been a clue that someting is not right with Eva. If she was really the frigg he wouldn't be feeling pity, but love. When he gets back to the flat, Axl and Gaia both pretend that they don't care that the other is dating.

The next morning Dawn suggests to Ty that they should go somewhere warm on a trip, where he won't need all of the heavy duty sleeping gear.  Axl heads over to Colin's house to talk to him about his daughter. When Colin refuses to let him in, he hops the fence and enters the house. When he confronts Colin, Axl tells him to be nicer to Eva and when he won't listen, Axl pulls out the Odin card.  Colin is not impressed and how could he be, considering those horrible skinny jeans.  Colin chases Axl out of the house with a burning newspaper as Axl screams, "you have been warned."  Okay if Axl really is Odin, I think it's about time they gave him some actual powers because as it is, a concussed penguin could take him on in battle and win.

Axl heads over to Mike's, where Olaf explains that Colin is Loki.  Axl immediately wants to know if Loki is good or bad and Mike responds, "he tried to set fire to you Axl, what do you think?" At this point, I am starting to believe that Axl doesn't have the common sense that God gave cabbage. 

At Eva's, it seems that Stacey/Fulla is taking this handmaiden stuff pretty seriously, as she is vacuuming and cleaning up, while Eva lies on her bed writing what I can only assume is more angst ridden lyrics. When Eva tells Stacey she doesn't have to clean, Stacey says that she has no choice and that she will fit in the handmaiden stuff around her work. Colin shows up at the door to tell Eva not to send Axl back to the house and that he doesn't care if Axl is Odin. 

Gaia has the boys cleaning the house for her birthday.  Eva shows up and announces that she needs to talk to Axl.  She is pissed that Axl attempted to fight he battles for her and because she had Colin exactly where she wanted him - out of her life.  Axl does not agree and claims that Colin is still messing with her head. Axl says that he doesn't care if Colin is Loki, if he messes with her, he messes with him.  This is a surprise for Eva, because she had no idea which God her father actually was up until that point. Eva realizes that together they will be more powerful than Colin and she suggests marriage. Okay, I get that she has daddy issues but getting married to piss your father off is just so damn cliche. It kind of ruins all the strength that she had shown about Axl's ill fated rescue mission.

When they leave the room, Eva announces that they are engaged and though Gaia congratulates Axl, she is clearly shocked and not the least bit happy.  They both arrive at Colin's, where Eva announces their engagement and Colin asks if it is the will of Odin.  Colin simply tells him good luck and that he is going to need it.  The two then head over to Anders house where he wants to know about the wedding.  Eva promises that they will consummate after the wedding.

Michele and Anders then get their flirt on at a bar, where Anders is clearly hoping to get some, but Michele is not buying it.  She tells him that he will have to wait until after the wedding.  Anders is disappointed but he points out that he hasn't had to wait to get laid in a long time and he likes the anticipation, but asks that she promises not to make him wait too long.  I actually really like the chemistry between Anders and Michele and it is far more interesting than anything between Axl and Eva.

When Axl returns home, Gaia is waiting for him.  She wants to know if Eva is moving in or he is moving out.  She believes that the only reason Axl has agreed to marry is because Eva is pregnant. If they have only known each other for one day, as Gaia point out, how could she suggest that Eva is pregnant.  Even if it were the case, simple math makes it clear that this is not Axl's child.

At Dawn's, she and Ty are looking at brochures.  Dawn points out that on a tropical island, he won't need his sleeping bag. He tells her that this won't change anything for him and that he is what he is.  Dawn says that his weird goes hand in hand with her weird. She says that if she wants to change him, it's because of how sad he is sometimes, but Ty says he is never sad with her. After they make love, Dawn tucks Ty into his sleeping bag and says that she loves him.   When Ty rolls over, Dawn reaches out and places a finger on his neck and the cold begins to travel up her hand.

The next morning, Colin shows up at Mike's and says considering that he is Ullr, he is surprised that Mike has such a humble home. Colin announces that Eva and Axl are to marry and then hands him a marriage contract.  The contract is written entirely in old norse.

When Ty wakes up, he realizes that Dawn has been touching him for the entire night.  She is not breathing and he begins to perform CPR.  At Anders' office, Olaf is reading the contract but he has no idea what it says.  Olaf says that he has a friend who might be able to read the rune. They realize that Olaf has been seeing Ingrid and Anders is not in the least bit pleased. Ty calls Mike from the hospital to tell him that he found Dawn frozen. When Mike announces that he has to go, Anders says that they'll deal with the contract.

Ingrid says that she knows someone who can read it, but that they will have to leave it with her.  Anders is not at all pleased but Ingrid says that they have moved on and accepted what is going to happen. Olaf points out that he really trusts Ingrid and they have no other way of finding out what the contract says.

At the hospital, Ty tells Mike that they are bringing her temperature up to normal but they are worried that Dawn might have brain damage.  Mike wants to know how much they actually know and Ty says that he told them that he found her in his ice carving room, and that she must have gone sleep walking.

The goddesses approach Agnetha to read the contract but she is not willing.  Michele says that they found each other and so now they either get on Odin's good side, or risk his wrath later on.  She says that they are all on board and that she should be to. Agnetha reads the contract and says that it defines the parties involved, the ceremony where the Gods gather to sanctify the union and Eva's dowry.  The guardian of each God has to sign the contract.

Eva goes to Axl's where Gaia congratulates her on the wedding.  In Axl's room, she tells him what is in the contract. He says that this seems like something much bigger than the both of them.  Apparently, there is a ceremony where the contract has to be signed.

At the hospital, Dawn and her mother say that Ty is such a hero.  He is clearly horrified.  Dawn says that she remembers dreaming about the angel he carved.  When her mother asks why it's so cold in the room, Ty gets up and leaves saying he will do something about it. He is barely holding back his tears.

At Axl's, Zeb is trying to talk Axl into an invite, claiming to be Robin to is Batman. Axl tells him that he is not allowed to be there and that they shouldn't even be having the conversation.  Zeb says that he will hide and that he needs to watch and learn about his world.  When Axl arrives, everyone is waiting for him with the exception of Ty.

Standing with Colin is the Goddess of oaths and agreements. As they begin the ceremony, two bikers ride through and so they look for somewhere more secluded. Colin signs the contract in blood, followed by Mike, Eva and Odin.  In the woods, Mike notices Zeb. Before he leaves, Mike tells Axl that they have to have a little chat about the rules of being a God, before Zeb comes running out of the woods.

That night Colin and Agnetha are celebrating over a glass of wine. When he asks about taking it to the next level, she turns him down, so he starts making out with the Goddess from the contract ceremony.

At Gaia's birthday party, Axl gives her a book.  It's clear that there is a lot of chemistry between these two even if neither of them will fully admit it to the other. They learn that none of their significant others are at the party.  Zeb throws something on the bbq and it instantly catches on fire, but Axl throws up out of the way before it can escalate and pats out some of the fire, leaving Gaia to finish putting out the flames.

It's clear to me at this point, that something is most definitely up with the contract because Agnetha and Colin are way to chummy.  Just the mere fact that Loki is involved, tells me that something is not right.  He is known as a trickster and a manipulator and therefore, he must have something up his sleeve.