Thursday, December 10, 2015

About a Vampire (Argeneau #22) by Lynsay Sands

This is the book fans of the Argeneau series have long been waiting for.  The handsome Justin Bricker is sent on a mission to do away with the remains of some rogues and as luck would have it, Holly Bosley arrives at the funeral home because she forgot to file some papers.  Justin tries to control her but Holly takes off running in fear.  When Holly trips and dies by accidentally stabbing herself, Bricker uses his one turn to change Holly into an immortal.  It's not a wasted turn however because as luck would have it, Holly is Bricker's soulmate.

Bricker is confident that it will be easy for him to win Holly over.  He's never had any trouble with the lades before. Bricker is absolutely handsome and unlike many of the older immortals, he is in touch with what is going on.  What Bricker didn't plan on is the fact that Holly is not a single woman. Even if Holly doesn't immediately run back to her husband when she learns about her new status, immortal law forbids Bricker from interceding in a marriage.  Apparently the punish involves having one's genitals torn apart repeatedly. Sounds pleasant doesn't it?

Holly quickly accepted the fact that she was an immortal but she did not suddenly fall into Justin's arms as he had hoped. I actually liked the idea that someone would chose to be faithful and not just leap because the grass looked greener on the other side.  When Holly did go back to her husband, she found out why we aren't meant to read the thoughts of others. Though her husband continued to be caring and concerned, the thoughts that he had were not always generous.

As a love interest, beyond her faithfulness to her husband, I cannot say that I was enamored with Holly.  Holly is yet another human female love interest who is insecure about her looks. Can we just have one love interest who hasn't got body issues please?  It was made worse by the fact that of course when the nanos entered her body, they got rid of her muffin top and her few other "problem areas". I suppose the idea that people are perfect as they are is completely and utterly lost on Sands. Humans became instantly attracted to Holly and even her seemingly heterosexual female friend was flirting with her.  Not cool Lynsay Sands, considering the erasure of GLBT characters in this series. Holly also took a break in school to put her husband through university and was considering bowing to pressure to put her education on hold again to earn money.  So, not only did Holly have low self esteem, she was also the self sacrificing do it all for my man type of woman.

I went into About A Vampire really hoping for a fun story. Sure, Lynsay Sands books have been problematic in many ways throughout the Argeneau series but usually she includes a bit of humour to make reading the story fun.  By now the Argeneau series are beyond repetitive.  Readers know from the moment that a life mate has been discovered that some kind of problem will appear for the couple to overcome and that it will quickly be followed by the HEA.  Without the humor to break up the monotony, there's nothing that makes the story even remotely interesting. What passed for humor in this novel was Bricker being misled about the things that Holly likes and striking out repeatedly. None of it gave me even the slightest chuckle.

I don't go into the Argeneau series expecting anything other than a reasonably funny book to pass a rainy day with but About a Vampire didn't even provide that.  I found myself being irritated with Bricker and the fact that his idea of telling Holly that her life had changed forever was to say, "congratulations you've won the Bricker lottery." That isn't romantic and is in fact douchebag behaviour.  Having Holly's husband be the lifemate of another immortal was just too convenient an ending even for a Lynsay Sands book.  At this point, I really feel that this series just needs to stop now. It's like paint by numbers but for books.  I don't even think longtime fans will be pleased with this one.