Sunday, February 28, 2016

Vampire Diaries, Season 7, Episode 14: Moonlight on the Bayou

Damon is desperately looking for a way to fix his shit and save Stefan from Rayna after Damon so epicly screwed up (with the help of Enzo) with Bonnie hanging around to help because being a good little helper is basically what Bonnie does (and can I note that I’m tired of everyone noting how helpful and friendly Valerie is for little reason when Bonnie has been pulling that without acknowledgement for 7 seasons now?)

This means going back to Enzo (very very short attention span) and learning about some people called the Armoury who were the ones who kidnapped Enzo when Matt asked for help. The Armoury’s purpose is basically to take dangerous magical artefacts and lock them up so they don’t do any damage (despite failing badly to hold Rayna). Yes, we’re borrowing a more incompetent and sinister plot from Warehouse 13 and The Librarians.

They’d quite like Rayna’s sword. They’re also happy to take Rayna herself. So an awesome plan would be to get Stefan to the Armoury have Rayna appear there and be taken out and then everyone can go home happy, right?

Until Valerie learns of the plan and points out they’ve dealt with the Armoury and they are ruthless and uncaring about who gets hurt. Sure they’ll use Stefan as bait, but won’t care whether Stefan, Damon et all die in the process and these are terribad people to work with.

Damon and Bonnie decide to leave – and both get rendered unconscious and imprisoned pretty much proving Valerie’s point. Also reminding us that the power of witches is random whenever the story writers want them to be. Bonnie ends up magicless because of an injection and Damon ends up in a cell with Tyler (who is there. As is Elena’s body. And probably everything else that has ever fallen through the plot box over the years) on the night of a full moon – and full moon werewolves are generally terribad awful for Damon.

He’s rescued before Tyler eats him by Bonnie who gets to him by CUTTING OFF ENZO’S HAND because she is Bonnie and that is awesome. This is despite Damon begging her not to risk her life for him… which of course she does and ends up hurt and hospitalised in the process (the anti-magic thing put on her stops her from healing with vampire blood)

During this episode we get a number of little moments which point us towards a Bonnie/Damon Romance. I think we’re definitely going there.

Of course we can’t have a romance without angst and Damon comes to an important conclusion – his friends are constantly sacrificing themselves for him. Especialluy Stefan (who is now on the run and at risk because of him) and Bonnie (now in hospital because of him). Along with a whole load of angst that Tyler dropped on him (which was entirely accurate given Damon’s history) Damon realises he needs to leave as it’s the only way to protected Bonnie and Stefan from their endless habits of martyrdom in his name.

He’s not wrong, to be honest.

What I want to know is, after so many seasons of the Vampire Diaries and Originals, with so many powerful magical artefacts floating around (like white oak states, for example) were where these Armoury people? You’d think they’d have shown up at least once or twice by now?

Enzo is working for them, by the way, because they promise to connect him to the long-dead family who abandoned him. Even with Enzo explaining he wants what Damon has with Bonnie (a servant who will jump to help him even if he doesn’t deserve it and when she should be off living her own life?) it feels a bit flawed. I mean, he has no reason to believe any of this family is still alive, since they were all, presumably, human – so what is he trying to connect to? A name on a gravestone so he can go and say “hey, this is the person who left me in the work house!” he’s doing all this for a grave to visit? Even if he does, coincidentally, find someone (Alex) who claims to be a relative in the Armoury, it feels like a pretty feeble reason.

Mary Lou and Nora also get kidnapped and added to the Armoury because they’re just collecting everyone these days.

Stefan is still being chased by Rayna and decides there’s one place he can be safe – a warded bar in New Orleans designed to be immune to scrying and tracking. That’s almost a good idea – except he runs into Klaus there. Yes, Klaus is guest starring back in Vampire Diaries. Klaus is happy to have a reunion, eager to hear about the gang – especially Caroline (with whom he had a thing) but when he learns why Stefan is there he is furious. Klaus knows all about Rayna and is not amused that Stefan has lured an infamous vampire killer to New Orleans, home to a gazillion vampires and his family. He gives Stefan his marching orders and, since Klaus is even more dangerous than Rayna, Stefan obeys

Thankfully Klaus is prone to getting emotional and Caroline calling wakes up all of that angsty gooey side and he decides to follow Stefan, saving him from Rayna (who gets knocked down, but gets back up again, nothing can keep her down. Except possibly being put in a coffin when she dies and then buried under 20 feet of concrete. Is there a reason no-one is trying this?) and promising to help.

Bonus points – Klaus recognises parallels between his family and Stefan – warning Stefan to drop Caroline otherwise she’s just going to get hurt while he focuses on saving Damon, in the same way all the women Elijah loves are hurt while Elijah focuses on saving him. It’s a very self-aware statement from Klaus

Caroline and Alaric are still playing house and looking after babies who are being babies (noisy messy creatures)