Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments, Season One, Episode Seven: Major Arcana

So, Clary now knows that her mother hid the Mortal Cup inside the tarot cards. But where are they? Not to worry folks, it seems that Luke confiscated them for some reason.  If he didn't know the importance tarot cards, why exactly did he take them in the first place?  I suppose that's a question we shouldn't ask. Shame on me for trying to make sense out of nonsense. Luke has the cards at the police station and so the plan is for Jace and Clary to accompany him to retrieve them.  We all know this isn't going to go smoothly right?

Simon wakes up in bed next to Maureen, who goes on and on about how amazing he was in bed. It's a moment of ridiculous ego stroking that read like an Axe commercial.  At any rate, Simon begins hallucinating that he is actually in bed with Clary.  When he accidentally calls Maureen Clary, she makes it clear that she is not about to be his side piece and Simon grabs his shit, makes a weak excuse and leaves. I like that Maureen stood up for herself but I am pissed that she is once again playing second to the glorious Clary, who I cannot figure out why everyone is so obsessed with.

Alec returns to the institute to learn that his sister covered for him with their parents.  That little deception is going to cost him because now Isabelle wants to know all about Alec's personal life. Isabelle justifies this request by claiming that she shares everything and therefore Alec should as well. I suppose Isabelle has never heard of the concept of boundaries. Alec says that he was with Magnus helping him heal Luke and that he might have shared a cocktail with him.  Isabelle is all, you can tell me everything you know but Alec pretends to let it all fly over his head.

So, back at the station, before Luke can get to his desk. he gets stopped by internal affairs. Capt. Vargas informs Luke that he is the prime suspect in not one but two murders. Just as Clary begins to worry, Jace spies Luke being given the perp walk. Yes, it seems they have a rune for everything. They decide to head into station and get the cup for themselves.  Clary's plan is to slap Jace and pretend they are breaking up and then root through Luke's desk to find her supposed missing keys.  Naturally, since this is Clary's plan, it doesn't work out and they learn that Luke's things have been taken by internal affairs.

In the meantime, poor Simon has been calling Clary repeatedly because he keeps having hallucinations.  At one point, he looks in the mirror and sees fangs in his mouth.  Things escalate when his mother and sister decide to hold an intervention after being informed by Maureen about Simon's weird behaviour and her belief that he is on drugs.  Simon tries to say the issue is that he is ill but neither his mother or sister actually listen to him and instead proceed to bicker. In frustration, Simon slams his fist on the desk, breaking it in two.  Of course, Clary is too busy chasing down the Mortal Cup to think for a moment about Simon and the one time he does manage to get her on the phone, she accuses him of being a hypochondriac, before Jace grabs the phone and ends the conversation.  Someone needs to tell me again what's so great about Clary.  Simon put himself in great danger to help her and this chick cannot even spare him a moment of her precious time. Yes, Clary officially fails at friendship.

With Isabelle and Alec's help, Jace and Clary manage to get the tarot card; however, it seems that Clary cannot pull out the cup.  Clary tries to explain that it's not as cut and dry as it seems to a rightfully frustrated Alec.  Clary and the scoobies try to make a run for it when they realise that they are surrounded by demons.  Alec decides to wait behind to slow the demons down and Jace pauses for a N.Y minute to say that he's not leaving Alec behind but of course, he ends up leaving with Clary because well it's Clary and she's precious.  Demons get even closer and so Jace instructs Clary to run while he stays behind with Isabelle to fight off the demons.  Clary finds herself nearly surrounded by demons and this time, she manages to pull the Cup out of the card to ward them off.

Clary is then confronted by a shifter who has taken the form of Jace.  When the demon asks to hold the Mortal Cup, professing that all he wants to do is keep her safe, Clary puts her stele through his chest. When the demon bends over in pain, Clary briefly worries that she has made a mistake but of course, the demon turns to ash and it's all good.  Clary meets up with Luke and Alec and they head back to the institute.  It seems that being the alpha has his privileges because Luke has ordered all the wolves to keep Clary safe. I am starting to feel like Jan because all I want to scream at this point is Clary, Clary, Clary.

Back at the institute, Jace is busy giving order for everyone to throw all their resources into finding Clary. Ummm why are these grown ass people taking the orders of a lovestuck kid?  Cue Clary's entrance and her reassurance that Jace no longer has to worry because she has the Mortal Cup.  Cue confession time where Jace admits that he wasn't worried about the Cup but her.  Finally, cue big kiss scene and shadowhunters looking on uncomfortably.

Back to Simon, who has given up waiting for his so-called BFF Clary to get back to him. He returns to the vampire abode where he is confronted by Camille. Camille assures Simon that he is not becoming a vampire and is only feeling the side effects of consuming her blood.  Before Simon can relax however; Camille, informs him that now she is going to make him a vampire and attacks. You can bet that Clary will be there for him (yes, that's snark).