The Librarian Quest for the Spear

 

Flynn is a geeks geek.  Still in his 30's and in college, as well as living with his mother, it would be fair to say that Flynn is a classic case of failure to launch.  It is only when Flynn's professor looks up his records and discovers he has 22 degrees and decides to boot him from the class, that Flynn is faced to acknowledge that there is a life outside of academia.  Flynn finds an invitation to apply for the role of a librarian and after proving that he can read people as well as Sherlock Holmes, Flynn is given the job. Flynn quickly realises that at this library, he will be forced to do more than catalog books because within its archives, the library contains singular wonders like Pandora's Box, Excalibur and the Arc of the Covenant.  

Flynn doesn't get to settle into his new role, as on his first day, the library is robbed of part of the Speak of Destiny.  Flynn is tasked to retrieve the last two pieces to ensure that spear is not made whole again, to avoid a disaster.  Having never done anything beyond study, Flynn knows that he's over his head but since the world is at stake and he is now the librarian, he has no choice but to attempt, even if trying may well mean his death.

The Librarian Quest for the Spear is a typical White man saves the world, semi action flick.  The small shift in this movie is the character of Nicole Noone, who partners with Flynn on this journey.  Flynn is without doubt the brains of the operation, being able to quickly decipher cryptic clues; however, Nicole is without doubt the brawn.  Nicole saves Flynn's life on several occasions.  She is a woman of action and though extremely guarded, is unafraid to face danger.  This was quite subversive, given that movies in this genre, like The Indiana Jones series, not only casts Jones as the expert, there is always a damsel in distress that needs saving.  We learn very little about Nicole, beyond what Flynn is able to surmise, making her in many ways little more than a female weapon.  

Other female characters include Margie Carsen, Flynn's mother, Charlene, the caretaker of the library, and finally,  Lana.  Margie spends much of her on screen time obsessing about the fact that Flynn does not have a girlfriend.  Margie invites a young woman to the house to meet Flynn and even resorts to imploring strange women at a café to give her nerdy son a second look.  Margie is the concerned mother to the T and beyond that, we learn nothing else about her.  Charlene is the stern caretaker of the library and she is not in the least bit impressed by Flynn. We learn nothing about Charlene as a person, beyond the fact that she does not like to be touched, though there is a hint of sarcasm blending with her salty demeanor. Finally, we come to Lana, one of only two women of colour in the movie.  Lana is an ass kicking woman, who essentially is the sidekick to the evil librarian Edward Wilde.  We don't learn anything about Lana's motivations and just as Nicole is the heavy for team good guy, Lana is the heavy for team bad guy. Quite preposterously, Lana ends up with a crush on Flynn, so of course the two women have to fight it out.  Heaven forbid each of them remember that the fate of the world is at stake. 

Review: Dracula Untold

"Sometimes the world doesn't need another hero.  Sometimes what it needs is a monster."

As the title suggests, Dracula Untold, is essentially an origin story of the world's most famous vampire tale.  The movie begins with the narration of Dracula's son, telling the audience that his father, Vlad Tepes, despite all accounts is a hero.  This is quite the opposite of Dracula's treatment in Stoker's version but is however far more accurate to how he is perceived by his own people.  The real Vlad Tepes, fought off Turkish invaders and was inducted into The Order of the Dragons, to protect Christendom from the Ottoman threat.  Being a movie, there is much creative license taken with what we know of Vlad's life; however, it is a somewhat interesting, if not wholly accurate story.

After having been given to the Turks as part of a tribute and inscription order, Dracula is taught to fight, and indeed seek blood.  It is while a Turk captive that Dracula gains the famous moniker, Vlad the Impaler (a title btw given to the real Vlad Tepes posthumously)  Vlad is tortured by memories of his time under Turkish rule but under the reassurances of his cloyingly sweet wife Mirena and his son Ingeras, Vlad settles into peace but is ever watchful for a day when this fragile peace will end.

Believing that he has stumbled upon an invading force of Turks, Vlad and his men make their way to Broken Tooth Mountain, only to meet a vampire.  Vlad alone escapes this encounter, leaving him with one more horrific memory to add to his painful trauma.  When Ottoman sultan Mehmed, demands a tribute of 1000 of  Wallachia's young boys, including Vlad's son Inegras, be conscripted into his army, Vlad is unwilling to sacrifice his child, as his father before him did, even if it means dooming his country to a war they are ill equipped to fight.  Our Anti-hero returns to Broken Tooth Mountain, and there he strikes a deal that will change his world. Vlad drinks the blood of the vampire and is told that he will have a fraction of the power of his powerful sire for three days, but retain his mortality, if he can manage to resist the temptation to drink human blood.  And thus, the game is afoot.

Wednesday Reboot: Shaun of the Dead

 

Shaun of the Dead was released in 2004 and stars Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Kate Ashfield.  Shaun of the Dead is yet another zombie movie that attempts to be a romantic comedy.  Shaun lives with his three roommates.  He has a girlfriend but his life is truly disorganized.  He spends much of his time drinking at the local pub or playing video games with his life long friend Ed.  Everyone around Shaun blames Ed for his failure to get his life together and this includes their other roommate Pete. For his part, Ed does nothing but sell drugs, and play video games for a living.

After Shaun fails to make a reservation at a restaurant for  himself and Liz at a fancy restaurant.  The only future she can see with Shaun is getting drunk night after night at the Winchester.  Heart broken that he could not convince Liz to come back to him, Shaun and Ed proceed to get roaring drunk at the Winchester.  When Shaun wakes up the next morning, after stumbling around unaware for awhile, he learns that a zombie apocalypse has happened.  The news suggests that everyone should stay indoors and away from infected people but all Shaun can think about his is mother and Liz.  Ed and Shaun decide to go and get them and then head to the Winchester because Ed wants to end up some place that he knows and where he can smoke.

When they get to Barbara's (read: Shaun's Mother) place, she refuses to leave because her Shaun's stepfather Philip does not think it's necessary. Shaun tries to get his mother to leave Philip behind because he has been bitten but Barbara will not hear of it.  They get into Philip's jaguar and head for Liz's.  Once there it takes some convincing but Shaun manages to get Liz and her two roommates Dianne and David to accompany him.  Before agreeing to leave however, Shaun and David have another argument about David being in love with Liz.

Wednesday Reboot: Wasting Away

Wasting Away was released in 2007 and stars Matthew Davis, Julianna Robinson and Michael Grant Terry.  At a  secret military base the government is attempting to make a super soldier.  They inject a soldier with formula and it  turns him into zombie.  Realizing that they need to get rid of it, they label the tins of it baby formula and begin to transport it.  Along route the transport is forced to stop when a motorcycle rides into the middle of the road.

The formula rolls off the truck and somehow ends up outside a bowling alley where Mike, Vanessa, Tim and Cindy are hanging out before Mike opens the alley for the day.  Tim grabs a tin of the formula mistaking it for a keg of beer and tosses it into the ice cream maker with the smart idea of making beer ice cream.  When it comes out green, Tim tells the others that it's just the light and so they consume it quickly.  They die and become zombies but don't realize it.  When Cindy starts to complain that she is in pain, they attempt to use the phone but discover that something is wrong with it.

They head out into the street and try to approach a couple of guys that they run into but the group runs from them.  The movie switches to black and white and we see that Mike Vanessa Tim and Cindy shambled towards the group of men groaning.  Clearly what the men saw was a group of zombies and that is why they ran away.  Mike, Vanessa, Tim, and Cindy are confused until they run into Nick Steele, who tells them that he is special ops and that the population has been infected.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - New Trailer

It's only a few weeks until the preview of this summer vampire movie.  We discussed the book last night on the podcast and discussed the appropriation and it looks like the film, from this preview is going to continue this.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Red Band Trailer

Our review of the book will be up on Monday, but in the meantime, we thought you might enjoy the trailer for the movie.

Wednesday Reboot: Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengenance

This second installment in the Ghost Rider Series was released in 2011 and stars, Nicolas Cage, Ciarán Hinds and Idris Elba.  Johnny Blaze has separated himself from humanity as much as possible and has learned somewhat to control the rider.  He is very much desperate to find away to free himself from the ghost rider. When he is approached by Moreau who is played by Idris Elba with a deal to free himself by saving a child named Danny. Johnny is leery at first because he doesn't really do protection, in fact, his sole purpose for existence is to punish the evildoer. Johnny takes the deal when Moreau promises him that he will free him from his curse.

Danny is on the run with Nadya from Roarke. They are in danger because Nadya made a deal with the Roarke when she was on the cusp of death. In return for being allowed to live, Nadya gave birth to Danny, Roarke's son. When in human form, Roarke is very weak and that is why he wants Danny.  Apparently, Danny has all of his power and none of his frailty and so he wants to put his essence inside of Danny.

This is essentially a movie that moved from one explosion and special effect to another. The plot is absolutely thin.  If you're going to watch this movie, do so with the expectation that there will not be any great acting despite Edris Alba and Nicholas Cage. Watch the movie for the special effects. I do have to warn those who saw the first Ghost Rider movie that the special effects this time around, are not nearly as good as the first movie.

Wednesday Reboot: Ginger Snaps

 

Ginger Snaps was released in 2000 and stars,  Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle and Kris Lemche.  Two angsty White teenage sisters named Bridgette and Ginger Fitzgerald live in an urban setting. They exist as misfits filled with what is meant to be ironic teenage angst.  As with every high school, you have the hot guy and the mean popular girl. Bridgette follows her older sister Ginger's lead. They have a pact that they will die by 16 together.  A werewolf is killing all the animals in the neighbourhood but no one seems overly concerned.

In an attention grabbing stunt the girls work on a death project where they take images of Bridgette posing like a corpse. This is clearly meant to disturb, which the teacher sees right away though the class applauds.  Their parents have an uncomfortable relationship with the girls.  Their father is extremely detached while their mother is concerned with being their friend and talking to them about their development.  When Bridgette's back begins to hurt, her mother is excited that this may well mean that she is starting her period and is super excited about this because apparently though she has breasts, Bridgette is late menstruating. 

That night they go out to take more photos when Ginger notices blood on her leg.  Yes, that's right, she got her period.  Ginger is disgusted and  makes Bridgette promise not to tell. Ginger is attacked by a werewolf but Bridgette manages to helps her to run.  They cross the street and the werewolf is killed by local drug dealer and stoner, Sam. Upon investigating the body, he quickly realises that he killed a lycanthrope.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 - Sneak Peek "Wedding Event"

Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”

—	Stephen King