Review: The Millennial Sword by Shannon Phillips

Viveka has arrived in San Francisco from the Midwest to start a new job. That’s already pretty challenging, a new work place, a new city, finding a place to live (despite a limited budget) and trying to keep her very grumpy cat amused and tolerant during the move.

And then a woman gives her a sword and runs off. A sword that virtually no-one can see – Excalibur. She’s just been recruited as the new Lady of the Lake with a solemn duty to try and protect the people of San Francisco from Morgan Le Fay – queen of the fairies who has a specialty of kidnapping children. And like it or not, she can’t stand by while children are taken – especially with recaps moving against her. She has a few friends, a complicated love life and a lot to learn.

This book did a very good job in setting up the world, the characters and the concepts of the story. By the end, everything is firmly in place and it’s a lot of fun getting there, from battle the tomte in her home, to swordfighting with the Society for Creative Anachronism to just moving to a brand new city, starting a new job and trying to set up a new life. We get to know Viveka, her life, her duties and the people that are part of it.

But I felt the plot itself was a little floppy. Viv gets the sword and gets on with her life, she makes some adjustments like spending more time with Noah practicing and going to an SCA meeting, but otherwise she gets on with things. I don’t object to the story, but she’s very reactive – which I can understand in the beginning but she seems to continue in the same vein throughout. Of course, I can’t criticise too harshly because I can’t think what she could have done or what other sources she should have contacted or what information she should have found out – but the plot didn’t really draw me in because it felt like Viv was constantly reacting. I don’t think we left the book knowing much more than we knew to begin with – and a lot of what we know was packed into the last scene.

I think part of that as well is that so many things were handed to Viv. She was handed the sword, it wasn’t something she studied or sought out. Once she had the sword she ran into Piper who gave the free info. Through Piper she ran into Raven who gave her magical help. She went to work and ran into Noah who happened to be an SCA member who knew how to use a sword, knew Arthurian legend and was happy to research for her and teach her. It felt like a lot fell in her lap without her seeking it out or doing a whole lot to get it. It’s not that she’s inactive – she fights a dragon after all and rides to the rescue of kids and faces down the wild hunt. She acts – but she acts when directed.

Switch: Season 1, Episode 2

 After being hexed by the witches of Kensington, our witches of Camden march to a very impressive house to confront the rival witches. They open the door – and the Kensington witches greet them with squeals and hugs of happiness.

The horribly pretentious head, Alexa of the Kensington witches introduce themselves as India, Romula and Remy – her new coven. Jude is surprised, is she sure they’re new? They look just like the last 3. Which kind of wipes the smiles off their faces. Alexa explains they were practicing magic, wanted to try a hex and had a picture of the Camden coven in solstice camp – they didn’t even think it would work and she’s “totes proud of us.” They keep trying to be friendly with the Camden witches who are, obviously, not that open to the attempts at friendship. The 4 Kensington witches gather in a group and whisper a chant, at the climax of it they’re bathed in white light and the hex disappears from the Camden witches’ hands.  Alexa turns and apologises (they’re “totes sorry”) and thinks the feud has gone OTT. She offers them a truce – an entente cordiale. And she offers drinks.

Cut to all 8 witches drinking up a storm. Many many many many drinks, all of them bonding with their opposite numbers on the coven. Until, in a wave of hugs, the 4 Camden witches drunkenly stagger out, making their goodbyes. More feuds should be resolved with a drinks party. Alas, it’s not to end there and the Kensington witches happy smiles turn to glares as the Camden witches leave.

Staggering home, the witches reflect that for all their money, they’d still not entirely want the Kensington life.

At their flat life goes on – and Jude has received a final warning from her job. Stella looks at the letter and has to agree that it’s fair but Jude still wants to do something about it and points out that she has so many warnings because she hates her boss who is mean and unfair. Grace points out that they can’t use magic every time that Jude screws up at work (part of me wants to say that they did this with Stella, but I can see that Stella had bad situations forced on her while Jude is instigating hers). Stella starts to blame Jude for the huge phone bill they have (assuming he has phone sex with a Cuban guy but she protests he lives in Tooting. Why not have real sex? “Because he has a face like a slapped arse and a voice like Antonia Banderas” you’ve got to love Jude). Grace confesses it was she who ran up the phone bill constantly ringing Hannah while she was travelling. Grace also opens another letter with a final demand for the electricity bill.

Stella, den mother, lectures the group, snarking at Hannah for the back rent and making it clear they can’t get by on 2 incomes; Jude counters that she’d still have an income if they did a quick switch to get her her job back. Faced with another bill, they start casting to arrange for Jude to get a new boss – a more tolerant and friendly leader and a “hedonist just like Jude.”

Spell complete, grace gets a text from Joel asking her to go to lunch with him – today. She asks what to do – and Hannah takes her phone and “accidentally” calls him. Grace hangs up quickly – but then Joel rings her back. After much fumbling (to the amusement of the other 3) she agrees to lunch and the celebratory squeals begin.

At Jude’s work she sees Aaron who tells her Duncan, the old boss is gone – and she gets to meet the new boss, Gerry Blackwell, by swearing at him. And he’s young and cute. And he’s the most laid back, permissive boss imaginable.

Things are not going so well for Grace. Worrying about what she’s going to wear and her looks in general, she starts to trim her fringe. She makes a… rather awful job of it which both she and Hannah find horrible – as an added bonus a neighbour dumps his 2 noisy sons on her to babysit since he has a work emergency. Hannah is there to rescue – she says she’ll look after the nasty little monsters – kids – after they’ve fixed Grace’s horrible hair. Time for a Switch call.

They gather together, though Stella heckles Grace about not going to a hairdressers. To quite the screaming kids they use their hair and a TV remote to cast a quick mute spell (I would gladly sacrifice several fluffy kittens for that spell). They fix Grace’s hair and she hurries to her date (mutual awkward people date) – and Stella takes Hannah back to work with her, she has an interview for her (leaving the kids in the lobby – and pausing them. Seriously, someone get me one of these kid remotes). Hannah’s worried about being unprepared by Stella tells her to be herself.

Hannah starts out by being incredibly awkward, spouting a lot of standard copy & paste drivel from standard CVs before relaxing and riveting the interviewers with anecdotes from her many many travels.

Unfortunately, the Kensington witches are whispering their curses again – causing Hannah to start swearing and call herself a kleptomaniac and then assault the head of HR and Janet before Stella can get her out the room. Stella doesn’t blame her – instantly hitting on the Kensington witches, especially since Hannah told them she wanted to settle down and get a career.

At the awkward date she asks Joel about his life story – like his big loving family. Who died in a fire. And his ex-girlfriend who had a child – that wasn’t his, it was his best friend’s who she then ran off with. But he’s ok now…  he says. And then is very very very very clingy. He says it’s the best day of his life – but as she points out, that’s not exactly saying much. He goes on about how much he likes her – and how much he thought about ending it before he met her. Ooookay, not good.

Jude returns to work to find a massive queue – and Aaron and Gerry in the back room smoking pot. He accuses her of taking things too seriously while she protests she spends her whole life not taking things seriously. They then have a brief competition as to who’s the most radical and she challenges him to a drinking contest with over-proof rum. Last one standing wins.

Game of Thrones.... on the CW

It's amazing how many networks can leave a fingerprint on a show. I know we both reacted in horror at the idea of the CW getting their hands on the Hollows Series.

But what if the CW were the network behind other shows?

H/T The Mary Sue

Review: Hunted by the Others, by Jess Haines. Book 1 of H&W Invesitgations

 Shiarra is a private detective – for now anyway, though her business is in severe financial difficulty and it’s only with the intervention of her very wealthy business partner that they’re even keeping afloat at all.

It’s these money troubles that drives her to accept a case from the Magi. Despite never working for the Others and having no wish to spend any time among the relatively newly revealed supernatural creatures, the offer is simply too good to refuse. Even if it does mean spying on a vampire to learn about a highly in demand artefact that has gone missing.

Unfortunately, she quickly finds herself revealed – and threatened – by the vampire that tries to put her very life in his hands. And she comes to the attention of the White Hats, a fanatical group determined to eliminate the Others. Already that’s more than complicated enough, but then people start dying to attacks that make no sense and events are being manipulated by a shadowy hand above and beyond the immediate players.

This is the kind of Urban Fantasy world that is guaranteed to pull me. Diverse creatures, integration into the human world, magic and vampires and werewolves, politics between the different groups, politics between them and the humans – it’s just the kind of world I love. No, it’s not completely knew, we know all of this before and none of the creatures here really strike new ground – but it’s an old pattern done well with enough original twists to keep me interested, keep drawing me in and keep enjoying it without think that it’s been done before. It’s a variation of an old theme – but it’s a good theme, it’s a fun theme and while the picture is similar, the details and story are different.

And it’s very well written. We have a few unnecessary monologues, but the pacing is excellent. We have a vast amount of information about the world but it’s all presented in a really natural way that completely flows into the story. The plot also has several interested parties, each with their own agendas and similar plots – the mages, the vampires, the White Hats – even Shiarra’s family but they are all given the attention they need and deserve without dragging the plot into a dozen different directions or getting us hopelessly lost. Couple with the necessary world building, the semi-love triangle, a decent cast of characters (even if they didn’t all play a huge role, they were all characters and there was some level of making them more than just floating names) keeping it all balanced was an act of true skill.

No matter what else, this book was an easy read because the writing just kept it all moving, kept me absorbed and never derailed me or left me floundering or bogged down – despite many chances when it could have.

Shiarra breaks the mould on a lot of Urban Fantasy protagonists. She’s not kick arse, she’s not lethal, she’s not skilled in weapons. She doesn’t want to get involved with the supernatural, she’s not hard as nails, she’s not a walking ball of attitude and chutzpah. The monsters frighten her, she doesn’t want anything to do with them, she doesn’t have the capability to deal with them. She isn’t a hunter, she isn’t a PI who works around the monsters - she’s been dragged into this against her will.

Which in some ways is so very refreshing because it is different and original. And it’s nice to see her grow in knowledge and experience and work her way out of it. In theory… yet… it’s hard not to be frustrated by the character – if she’s this afraid of the monsters I’m surprised, despite their money worries (though her very rich friend will support her), she took the case. And if she can’t make her business work without monster money then is she in the right business? And if she can be made to break a confidentiality clause and spill all her secrets because a vampire flashed his fangs at her then why would anyone trust her in such a sensitive job? Yes she’s afraid – but there’s fear and there’s cowardice. She also doesn’t seem to be all that good with at her job – she doesn’t seem to do or achieve anything through her PI profession, her plans don’t point to any particular knowledge or expertise. Her business partner has to set her up with her plan to approach Royce (who she didn’t even recognise), Arnold has to take her to get equipment and weapons – magical and otherwise (which she doesn’t question, despite the obviously illegal source). And the magical belt – which is certainly an awesome concept – gives her her impressive fighting skills which leaves me wondering what she brings to the story. There was apparently some event in the past that brought her to the attention of the Others – but we’re not really told what it is. So I keep asking why the Mages, Royce, anyone at all is interested in her? What makes her so special?

Misfits: Season 3, Episode 3

 

Simon is embracing his future potential and starting to leap across roof tops in an impressive display of athletic ability – until he hears the sound of someone being mugged. Taking his superhero-ness a little far, he runs to the rescue. He sends the mugger running – and the guy he rescued instantly assumes he’s a superhero and has a fanboy moment while Simon does the disappearing and hiding thing (super heroes have to do that, it’s a rule). Simon’s pretty gleeful about saving someone.

Arriving in his nifty lair, Alisha sees a trail of blood, worried she goes to check on Simon and he shows her his wounded hand, smiling in more glee. Alisha is less gleeful – he could have been hurt, badly. He says if he doesn’t take risks he won’t become him – who he’s meant to be. Alisha doesn’t see why he wants to become his future self – because when he does he leaves her and dies. He counters that if he doesn’t she will die in the past and she argues she can’t die in the past if she’s alive in the present.

I’m trying to wrap my head around that logic since while it’s technically true… ugh, temporal logic is bad for the brain.

She points out that he can’t travel back in time because if he does he’ll dump her – and she doesn’t get dumped. Poor Simon apologises for upsetting her. These 2 are actually a brilliant couple with a lot of chemistry – a little oasis in Misfits.

At the community centre there’s a preventative intervention scheme where, to use the words of the completely indifferent probation officer,” they’re going to tell you how they fucked up and you’re going to tell them not to fuck up again so they don’t become as big a fuck up as you.” And one of the people there is the guy Simon saved. He’s there because he stole a girl’s handbag to give it back pretending to catch the thief – none of the Misfits are impressed.

Simon, alas, feels the need to reassure the guy when they’re alone in the bathroom – and he realises that Simon is the guy in the mask. Simon asks him to keep quiet and Rudy comes in to treat us to some gay jokes. Remember, whenever Rudy opens his mouth, that’s when you stop listening.

The fanboy, Peter goes home and sketches superhero comics – with Simon as a character. When he speaks to Simon the next day he tells Simon about his obsession with superheroes, at the end of which Simon invites him to be his best friend. We look back at the comics Peter was drawing and we see that the entire conversation id depicted in the panels. Yes, he has a power.

At work Rudy 1 and Rudy 2 are messing around being Rudy when the probation worker sees them. Rudy instantly claims identical twins, the probation worker starts to challenge him (what with them both wearing jump suits and apparently job sharing the community service) but Rudy talks and keeps talking and it’d take a more patient man than the arsehole probation worker to listen.

Alisha goes to see Simon and is confused to find him so friendly with Peter so suddenly. Simon takes that further and takes Peter to see his lair and tells him about his future self – and how he has to save Alisha and die in the process – if he doesn’t die, Alisha won’t fall in love with present him and then he won’t become his future self and if he doesn’t become his future self he won’t be able to save Alisha.

Alisha arrives and turfs Peter out, as Peter leaves he can hear Alisha arguing with Simon about how he’s just met Peter, how he doesn’t know Peter and about revealing all the secrets to him.

The next day, Simon tells Alisha that he needs to be a super hero alone – and leaves. The whole conversation is written in Peter’s comic panels, he’s made Simon break up with Alisha.

At the community centre Kelly comforts Alisha and they tell the news to Curtis and Rudy; Curtis is shocked. Rudy, of course, raises that he thinks Simon and Peter are gay (of course he does, because it wouldn’t be Misfits without some extra homophobia). Alisha protests that Simon’s not gay, he’s the best sex she’s ever had (slight objections from Curtis and Rudy since they’re both Alisha’s ex-lovers). She smacks Rudy, not nearly hard enough.

She confronts Peter and he tells her that superheroes never have successful relationships. She angrily tells him that Simon’s not a superhero, he’s her boyfriend and he says “was”. She pushes him, dropping his sketch pad, showing her the comic sketches he’s made of Simon. On one sheet of paper she sees the conversation she and Simon had when they broke up. She tells the others that Peter has done something to Simon while he goes back to his flat and starts drawing.

To the pub and Kelley has a drink with Seth (and mocks him for his gin and tonic, since it’s a drink her nan drinks) some more flirting and establishing each is single before Kelly joins the gang, downing her pint in one before she does.

Fangs for the Fantasy Book of the Week

Every week on the Fangs for the Fantasy podcast (archives here) we read a book and discuss it on the show. The review for the book of the week always goes up on 3:00pm (EST) on a Monday (Monday’s book review).

To give people a chance to read along with us, every Monday we’re also going to include a list of our planned books of the week for the next few shows, so people can get the books, read them and join in the conversation.

 

3/12-10/12: Hunted by the Others by Jess Haines

10/12-17/12: The Turning by Jennifer Armintrout

17/12-7/1/2013: Touch of the Demon by Diana Rowland

7/1/-14/1/2013: The Awakening by LJ Smith

14/1-21/1/2013: Grave Memory by Kalayna Price

We will have a hiatus over the Holiday season, so there will be no podcast on the 24th or 31st of December.

 

We will discuss each book on the latter date – so on the 17th December, we will discuss The Turning by Jennifer Armintrout

We will post a new list every Monday with any changes or new books.

Switch, Season 1, Episode 1

 4 women are gathered around preparing one of their number to go off traveling – with many dos and don’ts and lots of promises to stay in touch. Which cumulates in a magical ritual invoking the 4 elements which is extremely impressive and looks pretty damn awesome. Though, as one of them observers in the aftermath, they should really start using none stick. Then her phone rings – her taxi’s here.

Now there’s an excellent introduction.

7 months later, Stella is sobbing after a panic attack. With an apology, she sends a text to Hannah. Hannah is traveling, she’s meditating in a room full of South Asian men also meditating – when her phone goes off. She scrabbles for it while everyone gives her the death glare. The message is one word “Switch”. She hurries off.

Jude, in a shop with her friend and co-worker, Aaron pause in checking out another, very hot co-worker, Miles when she gets the same text – “Switch”. She leaves mid conversation.

Grace is flirting, rather awkwardly, with a guy in a café when she gets a message “Switch! Now! Timmy’s dead!” She leaves, the guy she’s with left talking to empty air.

At the flat Grace and Jude gleefully greet Hannah after so long apart and Hannah asks what happened. The still upset Stella tells her the body’s in the other room. Hannah goes through sees it and expresses her annoyance. “You made me get an 11 hour flight back from India because you killed a cat.” Yes, Timmy is a cat. Turns out Stella, while trying to warm up her coffee, accidentally microwaved her boss’s cat. She needs a way to bring the cat back to life or she won’t be able to cover the rent – including Jude’s rent and Hannah’s.

Speaking of, her boss, Janet arrives looking for her cat. They quickly cobble together a ritual (massacring a potted plant for earth, fighting to light something for fire – it’s gloriously ad hoc) while the boss waits in the next room. She comes in wondering what’s going on – but her cat is alive which pleases her.

It’s the only thing that pleases her. She spends the rest of the time before she leaves lacing into Stella, nagging her, attacking her, blaming her for a difficult PR account (they’re in advertising) and generally treating her like shit. Which is exactly what the other witches say when Janet leaves. Stella tries to deflect blame on Grace’s mother ringing constantly but Jude drops in a solid realisation: Grace takes shit from her mum, Stella takes shit from her boss, no difference. Stella stomps off in a huff and Grace remarks that, sometimes, when she comes home she knows Stella has been crying.

The next day everyone’s much happier as the juggle getting ready for the day (it says all you need to know about these 4 that they have a sofa in the bathroom so they can talk to the girl brushing her teeth or doing her hair). Stella and Grace are practicing for Stella standing up to her boss, Janet and Grace drops the gentle hints that she wants Hannah to hang around, especially since their spells require all of them. They discuss Hannah’s traveling and Jude adds that if Hannah is going to go away, she’d like to do another switch (spell) before she does. An enchantment. An enchantment for Jude to get the hot co-worker to look at her (she tries to play the “it’s for a friend” first but is quickly seen through)

At work Aaron leaves to angst in a corner and Miles comes in. She puts on the enchanted brooch and he’s utterly enthralled and they end up making out by the till. Much to the shock of her friend.

At work, Stella tries to stand up to Janet who constantly speaks over here and insults her until she snaps and tells Janet to fuck off. She’s fired.

Hannah, at home is trying to block out the sound of extremely loud sex coming from Jude’s room, she’s inside with Miles (coupled with the walls shaking and furniture moving) when she gets a text from Stella – Switch again. She knocks on the door until she can get Jude to see the message.

Haven, Season 3, Episode 11: Last Goodbye

Having found the Bolt Gun Killer’s lair and realised that the Bolt Gun killer is wearing people’s skin, Audrey and Nathan have to be careful who they trust – so they bring in Claire, the Teagues and Duke to view the grisly remains – people they can trust when it comes to Troubles shenanigans (or an excuse to skimp on paying extras). In a leap of pure retcon, Audrey points out that Tommy made several rookie mistakes which makes it clear that he wasn’t a trained cop – so the Bolt Gun killer can look like the people he skins, but that doesn’t mean he knows what they know. So they can find out who the Bolt Gun killer is by questioning people on insider knowledge.

And, surprise, that begins now. The Bolt Gun killer picked Tommy to get into Audrey’s circle and because he wanted to know more about her. It makes sense that someone else in her circle – like the Teagues, Duke, Nathan or Claire – may be the next person he targeted.

Outside the pathologist and some more trusted folk are digging in the ground and finding many many bodies – his dumping ground for the victims he kills for parts.

Audrey continues to have angst about leaving and all the things left unsaid between her and Nathan. They resolve to talk at some point, but not over the phone (all the better to drag it out). Audrey’s worry about disappearing is definitely catching up on her.

The next day Audrey starts to drive to work and finds her way blocked by a man unconscious in his car. He doesn’t wake up but as she calls 911 she sees more people unconscious on the road, in the park – everywhere (that’s what comes of her arranging to have a talk with Nathan, a Trouble intervenes). Everyone’s unconscious – except Audrey.

At the police station everyone is unconscious again, including Nathan. All breathing – but all asleep.

Switching back to yesterday (I hate it when they do this cutting back and forth) Nathan and Audrey examine the body bit and find that all the women had a different body part removed – like the killer’s trying to create a new woman from the custom pieces. Audrey can’t imagine what that would look like. Audrey needs to watch more Frankenstein films. They think by IDing all the victims they can make a composite of the woman he’s making and then figure out who she is – and then who he is. There’s some decent portrayal of just how horrific the scale of deaths is, which also gives Audrey chance to draw attention to the totally-not-relevant-honest puffin earring one of the women was wearing.

Back to today, Audrey wanders the empty streets until she meets a man who is still conscious. With only one shoe and complete amnesia and no ID (and not very good acting – “come to think of it, I don’t know who I am.” Really, Haven?  Really?) He takes Audrey to the place where he woke up and find a crashed ambulance – with his second shoe in the back, chances are he was in it on the way to the hospital

Audrey then gets to explain the Troubles to Amnesia Guy and her theory that he was traumatised and then his Trouble kicked in, sending the town to sleep and healing him. Needless to say, he’s not receptive to this theory.

Back to Yesterday (did I mention how much I hate this TV gimmick? Because I do) Audrey tests Claire at the police station (and is tested back) and both have close knowledge of the other making it clear neither is the Skin Walker Bolt Gun Killer. More psychotherapy about Audrey having chance to say goodbye before she disappears.