Once Upon a Time, Season 5, Episode 23: An Untold Story

Hyde’s steampunk world looks kind of awesome, to be honest. I want to see a lot more of its shininess. This is apparently a world where all the lost stories play out.

Jekyll isn’t entirely defeated, or so it seems, he may have lost the wand but he does still dare to try and release the Charmings, Killian and Zelena so they can help him make a potion. One that will finally separate him from Hyde.

And it works. Because Hyde wants it to. He quite likes the idea of being separate from Jekyll all the time and not being suppressed – especially since he’s super strong and highly magically resistant. The good guys have to run and still have no way to return home

In New York, Emma and Regina have discovered that the inept foursome have been sucked into another world

Emma: My Parents, Hook and Zelena got pulled into a portal!

Regina: Again?!

That’s some quality 4^th wall scratching snark there Regina.

So they need a plan – especially since, with Gold having the crystal, they have no magic. Unless they work with him; which is what Regina tries to do, portraying her recent tragedy as having pushed her back over the edge to full blown evil queen mode.

Gold doesn’t buy it. Nicely skewering everything Regina said last episode, he says she has changed too much, become too good a person to slide back into evil queen-ness. Her Redemption Train is too complete. And he plans to kill them all

Except Henry and his anti-grail he happened to just run across with which he sucks up all the magic. Which means no death. But it also means no way to open a portal. Now what are they going to do?

See an Asian stereotype of course! A man called The Dragon who came straight out of central-casting for Enigmatic Asian Mystic is duly cryptic and vague in advising them that there is magic in the world if they just believe

It comes to something when even Once Upon a Time where everyone, his dog and his puppet has magic, still has to resort to POC-woo-woo to help the predominantly white cast.

This inspiring vagueness and a little CGI with a terribly rendered flower now puts Henry back on team Magic (I know teenagers are supposed to have mood swings but c’mon!) and he’s willing to open a portal to a completely unknown realm by convincing a crowd of New Yorkers to believe in magic next to a wishing well

Once Upon a Time, Season 5, Episode 22: Only You

Regina is having the worst day ever. The love of her life is dead and at her funeral she has to enduring the sappiness of the Charmings and then her lover’s rapist trying to comfort her

All it needs now is Emma Swan to arrive with her love magically resurrected from the dead appearing and… oh hi there Emma and Killian

Regina, if you want to curse this town again I’d totally understand.

But Regina stays on team good guy if nothing else because Gold is pulling some shenanigans with the Olympian crystal he took and everyone would rather they didn’t. He’s linking all of the town’s magic to the crystal in order to try and get Belle back – considering he already has the power of all the Dark Ones and the power of the Olympian crystal, adding more is… worrisome. Unfortunately Emma is still suspicious of Regina going all dark again so we have several arguments and Regina, rightfully, being rather angry that a grieving Emma can drag them all into the underworld while Regina has to go to her room.

Seeing his mothers’ fighting pushes Henry over the edge and he and Violet decide to end all magic  he blames magic (not entirely inaccurately) for all the misfortune in his life. And he still has the magical ace in the hole – the author’s pen. I’m not sure why he can’t just use the pen to write magic out of existence – but he can use it to steal the crystal. Which he then intends to destroy – but going to New York

His logic for this is his dad, Neal, also wanted to destroy magic… except… that’s not quite right. His dad wanted to flee to a land without magic (and wanted Gold to come with him). And he succeeded. Why would New York City have ANYTHING magical in there, let alone a magic-destroying trinket? It makes little sense

Game of Thrones, Season 6, Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

We start at the Wall, where Sansa and Brienne have finally arrived. Before Jon Snow left

Yes, I completely expected Jon to have left before Sansa arrived and poor Sansa to spend yet more episodes lost and hopeless. So I was happy to see this

I’m also really happy to see that Sansa is the one showing steel here. While Jon Snow is tired of fighting and just can’t do it any more, Sansa who has been through as much or more than Jon Snow, is determined to fight.  She’s not stopping. She’s not letting her home be occupied by Ramsay

And when Ramsay sends a menacing letter which Jon deems far too nasty for Sansa to read, she insists on reading it aloud. She is not the child she once was (and she apologises for how she treated Jon, her illegitimate half brother), there’s a lot more steel to her and she’s determined to get Jon to rally the wildlings and the lords of the North. Especially when they learn Ramsay has Rickon

Brief interlude with Ramsay who is still terrible and kills Osha. Gah, you bring her back to sacrifice her so casually? Game of Thrones Osha could have been an interesting character. And you’re making Ramsay boring – he always does the worst thing no matter what it is.

Help may be coming from an unexpected quarter – to the joy of no-one, Petyr Baelish is back, manipulating Lord Robin. I don’t think “manipulating” even counts her. Really, Baelish’s talents are wasted on this kid. Anyway, Baelish wants the knights of the Vale to bring down Ramsay because Baelish has finally realised that Ramsay is a feral dog that needs to be put down. Really, considing he’s such a genius manipulator he should have known better. How did he miss this?

The Vale was maybe the one kingdom who had avoided all these shenanigans.

At the capital of the shenanigans, Margaery is still imprisoned but she’s certainly not breaking no matter how many redemption stories the High Sparrow tells. Unlike her brother who is a quivering broken wreck because of course he is. You wouldn’t think he was a skilled warrior and war veteran or anything would you?

Cersei and Jaime have finally got the Small Council to listen, working around Tommen because Tommen is still too worried about Margaery and the High Sparrow. She goes to Olenna and under the threat of Margaery having to endure what Cersei did, Cersei has a plan: the Tyrells (with the second largest army in the Seven Kingdoms) bring their soldiers to town and thoroughly murder the High Sparrow

It’s not a complex plan. It also smells like a plot to get the Tyrells to take the backlash. C’mon Olenna, you’re more cunning than this.

Fear The Walking Dead, Season Two, Episode Six: Sicut Cervus

Parishioners are gathered in what appears to be a small Mexican church.  The boys choir sings and something about it all is dark and foreboding.  The Padre gives a small ministration about keeping faith and then offers holy communion.  The group heads outside only be met by Tom, who begs them not to fight because they are all out gunned.  It seems that the threat the congregation were intending to fight is not the dead but the living.  Suddenly, the parishioners and the priest begin to bleed from their eyes because they have been poisoned.

Aboard The Abigail, Travis and Chris sit to have a little chat about what happened to Reed.  Travis tries to be cautious as he mentions that the crew doesn't believe that Chris shot Reed because he was turning.  Chris doesn't mince words and quickly accuses Madison; however, Madison never once claimed that she believed his little story.  In fact, last week, Madison was so clearly trying to soothe Chris to keep him from going over the edge even further.

The conversation is cut short when two ships begin to approach The Abigail, forcing Strand to order everyone to head below deck.  This is the confrontation Luis feared, having not brought with him the appropriate fare to enter the supposed promised land.  A struggle ensues and Luis is shot in the stomach but together, he and Strand manage to kill the men who have boarded the ship.  Strand aims The Abigail towards land and Salazaar stabs the dead in the head.  When Salazaar gets to Luis, he's still alive and begs not to be stabbed.  It's Ofelia who stays her father's hand, as Luis calls out for his mother.  Luis holds up a coin, (which Salazaar clearly recognises though pretend he has no idea what it signifies) and asks for it to be given to his mother.  Luis coughs out his last breath, and Daniel tosses the coin in the ocean.

The Abigail is making it's way toward land and though it is being pursued, it's not being attacked. Hmmm could it be that the soldiers don't think the crew of The Abigail can survive what is on land? Naturally, they make their way to the church which opened up the episode and Strand begins to panic when he finds Tom's truck but no sign of Tom.  It's not long before the parishioners who are now zombies make their appearance.  Everyone grabs weapons and begins to fight.  When Madison slips and a zombie lands on top of her, Chris sees but he just stands and watches.  It's Alicia who has to come to her mother's rescue.  Daniel and Nick both have trouble taking out zombie children, with Daniel in particular flashing back to another child who he held by the throat.

By truck they make their way to the community that Tom set up and are welcomed in by Celia but immediately told that they must give up their weapons. Strand takes the time to inform Celia of Luis's death The only one to hesitate on giving up his weapon is Daniel, who rightfully feels that there's always a need for weapons. I don't know why this didn't raise Strand's suspicions, given that he isn't on the best of terms with Celia.

Strand is taken to see Thomas and discovers that Tom has been bitten and is dying.  The love and care between the two men is obvious.  Tears roll down Strand's face and this is absolutely the most human that we've seen him so far.  Strand picks up his lover and gently carries him to bed where the two men hold each other.

Alicia jumps on the first chance for normalcy she has had in quite some time by sitting on a couch, wrapped in a blanket and watching television.  Alicia doesn't get to enjoy it for long because she is joined by Chris, who wants to know if she is mad at him. Yes, Chris has gone super creepy.  Alicia quickly calls him out on watching as Madison struggled with a zombie but Chris claims that he simply froze and that Alicia didn't see what she thought she saw.  Chris then doubles down on the creepy and actually threatens to harm Alicia if she tells anyone of her suspicions, claiming that this would destroy the family.  Yes, Chris has officially turned into the Shane of Fear the Walking Dead.

Despite Chris's creepy claim of not wanting to hurt anyone, Alicia tells Madison about the incident. Madison then confronts Travis about his creepy ass son. Travis quickly changes the conversation to Madison not being there enough for him, reminding her of how many holes he crawled into to get Nick. Travis absolutely doesn't want to see how sick Chris is and instead hides behind this fact saying that Chris needs help. Umm, this is a zombie apocalypse, there's no therapist on standby. Madison refuses to be guilted and the two end up going their separate ways to spend time with their children.

Travis is not the only one guilty of some parenting fail.  I think if Madison could, she'd wrap Nick up in a protective bubble and never let him see the outside world.  Nick makes his way to the kitchen where Celia gives him some food. Celia reveals that she thinks that the dead have always walked among them and that this time they can see them. Yeah, Celia is creepy. Celia can see the pain behind Nicks' smile and he talks about how the killing is getting to him. Madison interrupts the conversation and sends Nick for a shower.  In Nick's absence, Madison makes it clear that Nick is young and impressionable and clearly warns Celia to keep her distance.

Three Slices. Anthology by Kevin Hearne, Delilah S Dawson and Chuck Wendig

These collection of three short stories have two themes:

One is Tyromancy. The ancient art of predicting the future using cheese (traditionally by cheese making) beyond just “we’re going to have something tasty to eat.” This is actually a thing and our ancestors were odd odd people. I do appreciate this rather unique little twist uniting them,

The second is the old Polish saying “Not My Circus, Not my Monkeys.” A saying basically saying (simplistically) “not my problem.

This is most excellently done in Prelude to War from the IronDruid Chronicles a story between Shattered and Staked which nicely fits into the main plot line of the series, filling in some gaps and expanding on some points. In fact, if I have any criticism about this short story at all it fails one of my tests for a short story: it’s probably pretty incompressible if you don’t follow the main series of books. Since I do, I loved it because it excellently added to that main series, showing how Atticus got the information he needed to track down what he finds in the next book

I also always appreciate Kevin Hearne’s dedication to research – as while the other authors have come up with their own ideas for what Tyromancy involves, Hearne has actually gone to the original definition and method.

The “not our circus” comes in when he finds – and learns she “betrayed him”. A definition she gloriously rejects by pointing out she doesn’t owe him anything. He bought services from her once. He is now buying services from her again. She didn’t swear loyalty. She isn’t his friend. She doesn’t owe him anything – she certainly isn’t required to risk her life or die for the sake of protecting Atticus or helping in a fight or war that doesn’t remotely involve her. I appreciate this even more since Mekera is a Black woman – and a Lesbian or bisexual woman. This genre – and the media in general – is absolutely full of minorities being sidekicks for straight white men, serving straight white men and, of course, sacrificing for straight white men that having Mekera declare firmly that she didn’t sign up for any of that, she isn’t responsible for any of that and Atticus has no damn right to expect that from her is a wonderful subversion of that continued expectation. This isn’t her circus. These aren’t her monkeys. She isn’t involved and she doesn’t want to be and won’t be shamed into it or feel guilty because her loyalty was expected

The story also nicely touches on her last relationship – a deep and abiding love that led her to seek isolation when her lover died which is a nice element of character building I appreciated along with examination of her ethnicity and history. It’s a short story and she’s a briefly appearing character, I could understand her not being well developed. I like that some effort was made to make her more than just the woman who tells the future using cheese.

Vampire Diaries, Season 7, Episode 22: Gods & Monsters

So Bonnie is going to kill everyone, starting with Matta and then just massacring everyone. Death death death death to all, it’s going to be amazing

Oh, wait, we’re trying to stop her killing everyone? Really?

Can we not?

No?

Please?

Ok, fine. The plan is now to break into the Armoury which is full of a big bad mystery something in order to kill the last eternal which is powering Bonnie’s murdering spree

Y’know, letting Bonnie kill everyone would be much simpler. Or at least Matt, c’mon a little Matt death? It’s the second to last season, you can’t give me this?

Apparently not. So after many failed attempts they do break into the armoury using Caroline and Alaric’s little siphon-y kiddies (they’d use Valerie but she’s run off to the plot box and decided not to leave her number because using kids allows for more family angst)

Oh, hey, does this mean that Alex had Mary Louise and Nora locked in the Armoury for 3 years and didn’t use either of them to siphon open the Vault despite being desperate to do so? Why yes yes it does. I would say this is a glaring mangling of the storyline but it fades next to the whole Rayna hunter rules changing AGAIN. See, before killing the last Eternal would not only kill Rayna but also everyone she marked with her sword. So killing the last eternal should kill Bonnie, Stefan, Caroline and Enzo. Now it doesn’t. Because. Reasons.

So having used the little kiddies to open the door, Damon decides to go in while Enzo leads Bonnie on a wild goose chase

Bonnie has long since managed to free herself from the useless Matt. She hasn’t killed him, alas. She does have a lot of excellent portrayals of the fear and grief that she’s going to kill everyone she cares about even though they all totally deserve it. Embrace your inner mass murderer Bonnie, make with the killing!

Bonnie chases down Enzo who didn’t have the good sense to fill up with petrol first (don’t let him plan your road trips) so he decides to cook her dinner instead. Enzo, you need something better than a risotto to stop murder – did you at least stock a good wine? Things go badly very quickly as poor Bonnie desperately tries not to kill the guy she loves who she is way way too good for

The Originals, Season Three, Episode Twenty-One: Give 'Em Hell Kid

The center of this story is the Original family.  Though they have all had their many jealousies, betrayals and angst, the Mikaelsons put one thing above everything else and that is each other.  We have seen time and time again the collateral damage around them pile up but it's always in the name of the supposed greater good - keeping a member of the family safe. For someone like Marcel, who has almost always been on the periphery of the Mikaelson family, this poses a troubling question.  Has he been around long enough to truly be considered one them, or will he be disposed of at the slightest threat.

It has become far too common in this genre, to use the death of women to motivate men.  In this case, The Originals has chosen to use the death of Davina (who I'll never miss) and Cami.  Davina's sparsely attended funeral is held in the morning with Marcel, Kol, Vincent and Josh (remember him?) at the graveside.  Cami's much larger funeral, is in the afternoon and it is followed by a full on Irish wake. Marcel shows up long enough at Cami's wake to place a flower and for Klaus to see that things are not good between the Mikaelsons and Marcel.

The only person to attend neither funeral is Freya, who keeps busy trying to find out if they have at last put the prophesy to bed.  It's not long before Freya realises that the threat has moved onto Marcel and that he will bring blood and destruction in his wake.  When Freya realises that the potion which Vincent took from Aurora's heart is missing, what happened becomes all to clear.  Since they cannot get in touch with Klaus, Elijah goes in search of his younger brother.

Klaus is completely unaware of the threat that Marcel poses and actually seems to want to make things right between them.  Klaus takes Marcel to a bridge they visited hundreds of years ago to spread the ashes of Marcel's father.  Klaus repeatedly tells Marcel that he views him as a son but it all very much reads like a well intentioned White Man's Burden speech.  Rudyard Kipling would be so very proud. It's all about how Klaus saved Marcel from slavery and essentially gave him the life that he has today.

All of this is a problem because since season one, Marcel has been cast as the uppity negro who just doesn't know his place.  Klaus even goes so far as to admit that he started becoming abusive because of his fear that Marcel would surpass him.  I couldn't help but wonder at that point, if The Originals had even one writer in the room who was capable of seeing the horrible racial dynamic that they created in this scene? Sure, they kept framing it around whether or not Klaus and Marcel could consider each other family but what I saw is White supremacy's fear that POC would one day throw off our shackles and treat White people as we have been treated.  What I saw was fear of vengeance and our desire for justice.   Marcel goes as far as to say that he only ever wanted equality with Klaus.

Grimm, Season Five, Episode Twenty: Bad Night

"We have to distrust each other.

It is our only defense against betrayal."

Essentially, the purpose of Bad Night, is to move the pieces into place for the big finale. Nick arrives home to find his worst nightmare - Adalind is gone and she has taken baby Kelly.  At this point, Nick is so enraged that he heads straight over to Renard's flat only to find that it is now empty. Unable to get a hold of Hank, Nick heads to see Rosealee and Monroe. Nick's first instinct is to kill Renard, and who can blame him? Rosealee and Monroe actually do a good job of talking Nick down by showing him just how limited his options really are.  With nothing left to lose, they decide to head to Hardrian's Wall, after of course, killing the two Wesen who are trailing Nick.

Nick was unable to get a hold of Hank because he's at Zuri's for a late night rendezvous.  Zuri gets out of bed and lets a member of Black Claw into her home, so that he can steal Hank's phone and download all of the information.  When Zuri returns to bed, Hank is up and she explains her absence by saying that she went to turn up the heat.  It's all well and good until the man enters the home again, this time to return Hank's phone.  Hank must be one light sleeper because he confronts the intruder and quickly takes him out.  Later, in a search of the intruders vehicle, Hank finds a computer and takes it to be looked at by tech.

Adalind has arrived at Black Claw to find Renard waiting for her. When Renard says that he would have sent a car, Adalind makes it clear that she is not going to lead them to where Nick lives. Renard snarks back that they can call the cab company and so Adlind asks what makes them think she only took one cab. Their daughter arrives shortly afterwards and it quickly becomes clear that Adalind may love Diana but she doesn't trust her around Kelly.  Renard and Adalind put Diana to bed and outside of her bedroom, Diana uses his power to make her parents hold hands.  It's perfectly normal for a child to want their parents to be together and form a cohesive family unit but it's also clear that anyone Diana perceives to be a danger to this is going to have problems.  Renard follows Adalind to her room trying to get a bit of action and Adalind makes it clear that this will not be happening.  Renard questions if Adalind fell in love with Nick. Adalind may be there because Black Claw has Diana but she is most certainly not going to betray Nick.

Wu is still very freaked out by what he has become and he keeps having flashbacks to his attack and the Wesen he killed. Finally, Wu decides that he has to see exactly what he has become and thus, pushes himself into a rage to start the transformation.  Wu begins to change and rushes to a mirror to look at himself.  Wu begins to tell himself that he is in control and slowly the transformation stops. It looks like Wu might just get a handle on things.

At Hadrian's Wall, no one has much to offer Nick in the way of help at this point.  They don't think that it's a good idea to go after Renard and point out just how much security he will have around him right now. Nick is unwilling to give up because Black Claw has his son.

A frustrated Nick heads home and Truble quickly arrives.  How does one prove one's loyalty? Why, offering to kill someone of course.  Truble is all team Nick and is completely down with killing Renard on Nick's say so.  Nick however feels that this will put Kelly in jeopardy.  The conversation is cut short when Nick receives a call from Renard of all people, asking to meet at the station.  Once again, Truble offers to kill Renard, saying that she could make it look like an accident in the parking lot. Yeah, I'm all about Truble at this point.  Nick however decides to go this one alone and asks Truble to wait for him.

At the station, Renard tries to recruit Nick. Damn it. I had so hoped that Renard was playing a long game which wasn't evident and hadn't gone all true believer because this puts him squarely at odds with Nick. Renard suggests that sometimes the best thing one can do for one's family is to let them go, reminding Nick that he had little choice but to give up Diana.  Nick counters that he wasn't offered a choice when it came to Kelly.  The conversation ends with both men at odds which makes me wonder if Renard is a dead man walking? Please don't let it be so because Grimm needs more shirtless Renard.