Thursday, March 6, 2014

Beauty and the Beast, Season 2, Episode 15: Catch Me If You Can

Vincent has apparently spent all night camping at JT’s scanning his really creepy facial recognition software to try and find Sam – and he’s eating gummy worms. Is it wrong of me to forgive so much because of gummy worms? JT has a brief panic at the illegality of it all before it’s quickly brushed under the rug. Also more repetition of Vincent’s plan to be human and not use beastliness so he can win Cat back.

Tess and Cat are having coffee – lots and lots of talk about men follow because Tess cannot possibly talk about anything else. Really, that sums up the entire conversation. Cat goes home to Gabe for a whole lot of recapping about Sam, his actions, their relationship issues with an addition that Gabe is semi-scrabbling to find legal grounds to arrest Sam on (Sam must be a person Cat has decided it’s immoral to kill – she can be quite random in deciding that).

Back to JT and Vincent on the street where the software saw Sam and JT convinces Vincent to use his beasty tracking powers. The legal issues may rise up because Vincent finds Sam – and puts him in the underground cage whereupon Sam (after his obligatory “they will pay for my son” reference since revenge is his motivation for making random beasties) taunts them for having no legal basis for holding him before lots more taunting about his beatiness. It gets a beasty response just as Cat and Gabe arrive

Of course they’re quite judgy about Vincent using his beasty abilities that they’ve been happy to use as a resource constantly for 2 seasons – but that was when Cat said so! They consider it a mess because they don’t have a legal case against Sam – except Gabe was just discussing said case. And they were trying to find Sam as well – they’re not even trying to make sense or be consistent any more.

Sam gives them another good reason why they should have been hunting him – he has his beast candidate chained and prepared already. Gabe claims he’s bluffing, Vincent’s lie detector beast senses say no – which Gabe and Cat ignore because we’re pretending Beast powers are useless and shameful now for REASONS. Gabe decides to let Sam go because it’s all Vincent’s fault…

It’s Vincent’s fault you’re letting him go? You wouldn’t even have him without Vincent?

So Sam returns to the victim he has chained up, Xavier is transforming into a beast and it seems the serum has also been changed to make him obedient (or “agreeable” as he puts it).

Vincent returns to his boat to find Gabe there saying how beastly he is and how he will never control it – he knows because he was an uncontrollable beast. Which is ridiculous because Gabe was precisely that – an uncontrollable beast, an early model, unlike Vincent.

So Vincent goes to JT to angst about how he can’t change and has to stay away from Cat – but now JT advises him to “be himself” both Beast and human. Between all this endless angst and pointlessness there is a gem of advice – start being who you want to be not who you think Cat wants you to be.

At the police station Tess has identified Xavier as missing and Cat says how much they need to keep Vincent out of it – because leaving a man imprisoned at the whims of someone experimenting on his body is necessary so Gabe can be smug (remember, Cat doesn’t really put too much premium on Beast lives) especially after the disaster that morning when Vincent… successfully tracked the man they were looking for. And Cat is totally in favour of following the law (this week. Next week… well it depends what’s convenient for Cat and whether following the law will save or harm people she considers worthy of saving). They quickly turn back to talking about men because Tess was beginning to show signs of withdrawal.

Vincent follows the trail of blood that Sam has deliberately left from Xavier (a trick he’s used before) and runs into Cat along the way who now decides Vincent needs to totally not be involved in the investigation at all. They talk and it becomes clear that Cat is focusing on stopping Sam and doesn’t give a damn about Xavier, while Vincent is focused on saving the innocent victim. It’s also apparent that Cat thinks Xavier is past saving since he’s been injected (beasts still not people in her eyes).

As they drive they discuss a possible trap – and a lorry hits the car. With Xavier driving. But after growling at them he runs off. This leaves them to struggle out of the car which, of course, means lots of pressing together. Vincent is about to use his beastiness to get free but of course this is forbidden now. Cat says so. And she blames Vincent for them being trapped – except she was ALSO in the area quite independent of Vincent, and it was her insistence they get in the car – if he had been walking he could have used his beastiness and dodged. Cat is stunning in her ridiculousness; she’s also horrified that Vincent may actually spare some time to think of Sam’s victims – after all, they’re only beasts.

Gabe texts with an address for Sam he’s pulled out of somewhere and of course is concerned that Cat and Vincent are close to each other. Anyway the address apparently leads to a CIA bunker

Where Xavier is being guided to a server by Sam - using his beasty powers which apparently include the ability to go without oxygen. At which point I check my cupboards to see if I have any booze left after Supernatural

Not nearly enough.

Cat and Vincent arrive to find unconscious guards and ripped metal doors and Vincent psychically knows where Xavier is (I’m not even going to pretend this is tracking any more). Vincent heads off after Xavier despite Cat’s protests – he’s doing this for him not her though, he’s not going to let Sam use another Beast. He enters the oxygen-free room and covers his mouth…



Why… so the oxygen free air will spawn oxygen on contact with your shirt sleeves? Oh I give up. Anyway, it seems Beasts do still actually need to breath and Xavier is passed out but he has already started the upload from the server to Sam’s computer. Cat bursts in on Sam to hold him at gun point and arrest him for… something, she doesn’t seem sure. But apparently he’s rigged Xavier up with C4 to blow up him and everyone around him.

Ok, so he has illegally entered a CIA base (or Cat teleported) behind him is a laptop downloading illegally acquired data from a CIA server that has been specially booby trapped (however Xavier could easily find the relevant files on a completely insecure server because… because) and he’s holding a detonator linked to bombs wrapped round a person on said secure CIA base. But he doubts Cat has reason to arrest him?

Arrest? “Arrest” will be considered a cute joke to the man introducing him to waterboarding.

Vincent, of course, is valiantly saving Xavier’s life. But Cat refuses to put down the gun because she can’t let Xavier and Vincent’s death stop her capturing Sam. Unlike earlier when Xavier being locked up by Sam was reason enough to let Sam go. That was because Vincent did it then, now she’s doing it – Cat logic!

He detonates the explosion just as Vincent gets into the lift (saaaaved) and then she and Sam start fighting. The oxygenless room produces a massive fireball because the writers don’t know how combustion works; Cat leaves Sam handcuffed in easy reach of his briefcase full of freedom tools while she goes looking for Vincent in the wreckage. She finds him alive and unscathed – and performing awful CPR on Xavier. Despite going at it for, maybe 20 seconds at most and having beast stamina, Cat puts a hand on his back to try and comfortingly get him to stop (seriously Cat? I know CPR has little chance of success but suffocation is actually one of the few times it could actually work - or keep the guy alive until an ambulance shows. You don’t give up after less than a minute)

Vincent succeeds in resuscitating Xavier. Cat hugs Vincent because he could have died – and Tess and Gabe have shown up in time to watch. I think near-death experiences are allowed a hug

Sam is taken to the police station and Gabe threatens to charge him with domestic terrorism. He plays the “I’ll tell about the beasts!” card (who would believe him?) The file is apparently encrypted (though how he found the right file remains a mystery) but Sam remains unbothered.

Cat and Gabe have a relationship moment about Vincent being so close to Cat in life and death moments.

JT tests Xavier and, of course, because he died and was resuscitated he’s fully human again because SCIENCE. He was saved by Vincent being a human and a beast and not trying to impress Cat, apparently

In prison, Sam coughs up the thing he swallowed from his briefcase.

Cat goes to see Vincent to say how she’s with Gabe and they cannot see each other in order for that to happen (personally, I think if your relationship will collapse if you so much as see your ex then your relationship is doomed anyway. I also think the only time Cat sees him is the case, random coincidence or her dropping in, since when do they spend friend time together?).

And they kiss. And he carries her to the bedroom. Yeah, bad sign as well. Also nocturnal visits to explain why you can’t be together also probably not a good idea.

The characterisation in this show is awful – we continually have nonsensical, hypocritical tirades that completely ignore what has happened in the past and everyone lets it go. No-one calls anyone out on their blatant hypocrisy, on Cat’s utterly self-serving morality and adherence to the law only when it suits her while still presuming to play moral guardian or the fact she blatantly doesn’t care if beasts live or die nor considers them worthy the same protections as people. Why would Vincent want to be with this woman?

Tess needs a topic that isn’t men and a life. Gabe needs to actually start making sense with his rants and figure out why the legal objections Sam raised only apply when Vincent is involved. Both Gabe and Cat could do to start caring about the victims.

The only thing worse is the story which is stuck in endless loop. Sam still wants revenge against mystery people for fairly vague reasons involving his son’s death. He is now doing stuff for that revenge, in the process throwing out random beasts to slow everyone down; while Vincent, Cat and Gabe have a boring love triangle of angst and hypocrisy.