Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Vampire Diaries, Season 5, Episode 15: Gone Girl

Nadia was bitten last week- that means she’s near death which means we get some angsty flashbacks about a character who is pretty irrelevant to the story, oh yay.

We open in “Northern Europe” in 1520 and Nadia’s centuries long quest to find Katherine. Katherine is by her bedside and barely even trying to pretend to care. She hasn’t called Klaus (whose blood cures werewolf bites) because she doesn’t want to expose herself and Klaus doesn’t care about Katherine anyway – instead she’s called evil Dr. Wes because he likes to study ucky supernatural fluids. Katherine also swears to be a better mother, which, tbh isn’t going to be all that difficult, she’s kind of set the bar awfully low.

Meanwhile, Stefan and Caroline spread the word that Katherine is possessing Elena (Damon takes It in his stride even when Stefan tries to rub some salt in the wound of him being manipulated by Katherine. Again). Caroline, Matt and Tyler are more surprised they didn’t figure it out (me too since she was awful at keeping the secret – so the answer is probably “shoddy writing”. That’s kind of my answer for everything that happens on this show). Jeremy and Bonnie (hey she climbed out of the plotbox!) face the master manipulation of Katherine actually realising letting Jeremy die would be out of character

So what’s the master plan to exposing Katherine and dragging her away from her dying daughter so they can stab her with the Traveller Banishing Knife (hereby known as the TBK or magic stabby thing depending on how much this episode drives me to drink) – throw a party.

Of course it is. The solution to everything in Mystical Falls is a party, parade, ball or other grand social event. Bonnie’s surprise Birthday party.

Caroline and Bonnie both try to convince Katherine to come out and play but she dodges them. Suspicious by the sudden clinginess she calls Damon and offers to come over – and he accepts. Since Damon tried to kill her not so long ago, she knows there’s no way Damon would risk precious Elena’s life by allowing her near him – she rumbles the trap (that’s actually pretty good logic. I’m impressed Vampire Diaries); in turn Stefan and Damon realise the only reason Katherine would volunteer to leave when she’s been dodging meetings is if she suspects.

So now everyone knows that everyone knows that Katherine is Elena. Time for a Nadia flashback to France, 1720 (France? Wow did someone find a map? Wouldn’t “western Europe” have been sufficient?) Anyway, present day Katherine has dragged sickly Nadia out to the car and is now on the run. We also have another flashback dream to Nadia meeting Matt and even that was apparently part of her quest to find Katherine

Which means, per Damon’s suggestion, they need a witch to do a finder spell. Calling on Liv, the inexperienced witch. Unfortunately the string of common sense ends because they decide to leave Tyler to guard Damon (he needs a guard?) and Damon taunts him until he comes within arm’s reach. Tasty snacky hybrid! Damon is now free.

The finding spell involves lots of Liv flirting with Jeremy in front of Bonnie which is just tacky. And Damon catches up to Dr. Wes to express his… unhappiness with the man who tortured him for years and then turned him into a ripper. It’s a very very very unpleasant death for Wes, and richly deserved. This concerns Katherine because she was relying on the now dead and mutilated Wes to produce a cure. To make things worse, Stefan has found Nadia and calls Katherine to give her her choices – run or come home and see her daughter before she dies.

Matt gets a moment with Nadia and Bonnie comforts her, as the Anchor, before Katherine arrives to say her goodbyes – and tacitly apologise for being selfish and not reaching out to Klaus for the cure (to be fair, I do think Klaus’s answer would have been either “screw you Katherine” or “sorry, too busy in a war against witches and my own family.”). They have a really beautiful goodbye scene. Nadia dies and Bonnie passes her to the Other Side.

Katherine tries to make a run for it – but Damon comes in at that moment. Katherine makes her snarky goodbyes to everyone, to see who will be the one to do the stabbing – and her proclamation of love for Stefan, who is the one to finally do the deed.

Matt takes care of Nadia’s body and Stefan and Damon talk

Caroline and Tyler talk and Caroline thinks it’s unfair that no-one is blaming him for his lethal hybrid bite while Caroline is getting grief from him for sleeping with Klaus (um… what? Is this even a comparison? Nadia was about to kill Caroline and Tyler jumped in and saved her, in the process of which he bit Nadia. Is that even remotely comparable to Caroline sleeping with Tyler’s mother’s murderer?) She has a big rant about how unfair it all is and how she refuses to feel guilty any more and he just needs to get over her sleeping with his mum’s murderer.

….I have no words, really?

And Bonnie meets up with Katherine’s spirit who gave up because she had nothing left to live for – no Stefan, no Nadia. But she’s really bitter about Elena getting all the good stuff. So before she died she injected herself with the Ripper virus – enhanced with werewolf venom. With that bit of vindictiveness explains she touches Bonnie in preparation to go to the Other side. It doesn’t work. Instead the wind rises, darkness falls and something drags her backwards, screaming into the dark

Looks like there’s more than one option for the afterlife.

Oh words cannot describe how much I snarked. Everyone gathering around to say how masterful Katherine’s imitation of Elena was when it was so poor was just laughable (“she realised Elena wouldn’t let Jeremy die! SUCH AMAZING INSIGHT GUYS!!!”) Made even more comic by the conclusion of “we’re terrible friends, we don’t pay enough attention to Elena!” Hah, the whole cast CENTRES on Elena so much that I think she has her own gravitational field!

Bonnie’s surprise Birthday party – which she doesn’t want and is just being used to further the cause of Elena. See, this is the problem with Bonnie’s character – she disappears for episode after episode then is dragged out of the box only when she is useful to the other cast. She has no storylines of her own that, again, aren’t part of serving the rest of the cast. Even her death and resurrection couldn’t be about her. Even the problem with being the Anchor – finally being talked about – is only raised as a ploy to lure Katherine to benefit Elena. Even the introduction of Liv – a clear tool – is Bonnie’s contact but not Bonnie’s tool since she doesn’t use magic for Bonnie’s benefit – she is a way of giving Bonnie back the skills that made her such a useful tool, while denying her the power.

All that said, Katherine and Nadia’s death bed scene was very well done and beautiful to see. And I am extremely glad to see the end of Wes, Katherine and Nadia. Past time to prune some storylines!