Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Almighty Johnsons Season One, Episode Six: Goddesses, Axl, Come in All Forms

An old woman stands on her lawn looking up when she is suddenly struck by a meteorite. Olaf suddenly sits up in bed and groans.  The next day, Olaf shows the rest of the Johnsons the story in the paper about the death of the woman and as the brothers joke,  Olaf tells them that it's a sign of Frigg. The Goddesses see the story and Ingrid tells them that this is a sign. Apparently the woman's last name is Hensen and there were Hensens on board the ship that brought the Gods to New Zealand. Anders believes that the sign is telling them to go there and that they must go to the funeral to figure out what the sign means.  The Goddesses decide the same but when Stacey says taking anymore time off work is going to cost her her job, Agnetha is not impressed but agrees to send Michelle and Ingrid in her staid. Mike and Ty both agree to stay home.

At the office, Anders tells Dawn to reschedule his meetings and to tidy his apartment. Dawn is not impressed and tries to stop him from going but he breezes out, not listening to a word that she has to say.

Axel, Anders and Olaf head off in the car with Olaf saying that back in the day they would have tripped out on mushrooms before going into battle. Olaf is always about his drugs.

When Dawn walks into Anders apartment, it's absolutely disgusting and the fridge is on the fritz with everything rotting and draining on the floor.  She calls Ty to fix it and runs out to try on a bridesmaid dress.

When the Johnsons arrive at the funeral, they stand back and check out the women. The Goddesses and the Johnsons see each other at the same time. When Ingrid sees Axel, she remarks,"I thought he would be more Godly." She does have a point as it is hard to take Axel seriously as Odin because they give him few ass kicking moments and he constantly wears skinny jeans which do nothing for him. The Goddess march over to the Johnsons and Anders and Michell start verbal sparring immediately.  The sexual tension between them is great but I didn't not appreciate Anders using Michelle's bisexuality and her gender against her.  Yes, another moment of sexism on The Almighty Johnsons. Ingrid and Olaf hit it off and she admits that they are there to find Frigg.

When Dawn returns, Ty tells her that it would be cheaper for Anders to buy a new fridge than to fix it.  When she says she feels awful, Ty points out that it is not her responsibility and that they should drink Anders beer before it got warm.

During the funeral, Anders asks Axel if he is getting anything from Angelicka, the grandmother of the deceased. When she cries, Anders sees it as a sign until a bearded man goes up to comfort her catches their attention. Anders asks why the man is so important but he says it's all cloudy.  Anders asks about Angelicka and Olaf says she is not important but Anders feels that she is the one.  The Johnsons and the Goddess go to talk to her and she invites them to the farm for the wake.

At Anders, Dawn admits talks about the upcoming wedding and says that she loves the idea of a man and a woman, or two men and two women loving each other enough to publicly declare their love.  Considering the GLBT fails on The Almighty Johnsons to date this feels forced.  They could do so much more with good representation than lines of support. It rings false after having Anders attack Michelle for her bisexuality earlier in the episode. Ty makes a crack about Dawn always being a bridesmaid and she says she has to head back to the office.  

Ty goes to see Mike and asks how many female friends that he has. Mike says 4 or 5 and Ty asks how many are actually his friend and how many are Valarie's friends that he just happens to get along with. Ty says that he has 19 female friends who call him and have coffee with him. Mike suggests that maybe he is just one of those men who gets along with women.  Ty says that he has either tried to sleep with or has slept with all of those women and they are still friends with him because he is a great guy. Ty asks what happens if Axel actually finds Frigg and they become full Gods.  Since Ty is Höðr, God of all things cold and dark, he believes that things won't get any easier with women.  I have to admit that Ty has a point with this one. Mike suggests that he not think about it and live in the here and now.  Ty says that he doesn't want 20 female friends and so Mike tells him to do something about it. 

At the farm they notice a large man with his arm around Angelicka, but Anders says that he will deal with him. When Axel points out that they need to figure out what's up with big man barbecuing the meat, he says that he will deal with that as well. The man is hammering away at the meat and Ingrid approaches Olaf and says, "if what we're thinking is right, this could end very badly." Olaf approaches him asks if he is Thor and the man asks if he knows them.

Ingrid and Olaf steal Anders, Axel and Michelle away from Angelicka and her boyfriend to tell them that the big man is Thor, the God of war.  Anders is not concerned because Axel is Odin but Olaf says, "the thing about Thor is that usually, he's barking mad." Anders says that they can deal with it.  Thor approaches them with a meat hammer and they introduce themselves to him. When Axel says that he is Odin, Thor laughs until Olaf says, "seriously he is." Thor then gets down on one knee.

At Anders apartment Ty cooks dinner for Dawn, saying that he didn't want the food to go to waste. Dawn points out that when she looked in Anders freezer that there was nothing but vodka and Ty says that the food was behind the vodka.  He asks to see the bridesmaid dress and Dawn says that she will see how good his cooking is first. Considering that Ty can't taste anything, I don't see how his cooking could possibly be good.

At the picnic table the Gods gather around to talk about the prophesy.  When Anders asks about Angelicka, Thor tells them that she is not Frigg. Thor says that he is adopted and that he found out that he was a God from a guy in prison, though he claims that he is not barking mad.  Thor says that they are after his daughter and they turn to see Delphine. 

Later Anders, Olaf and Axel chat alone.  Anders tells him that no one ever said that when he found Frigg that she would be gorgeous but Axel tells him that he did. Olaf says that Goddesses come in all forms and that he needs to find the beauty within.  Anders tells him, "you need to do the business and get our powers back and then you can give her the flip because you're Odin." When they open the door Thor is waiting just outside the door.  He says that he needs Odin alone because a father needs to know his future son in law. When Anders tries to complain, Thor tells them that he booked them a room and sent the Goddesses up ahead to warm their beds. 

at Anders, Dawn puts on the most hideous bridesmaid dress. Ty says that the dress is awful and asks if Stuart, Dawn's ex has no problem marrying a woman with awful taste. He adds that she is lucky that he dumped her.  Dawn answers that he is the best friend a girl could have, causing Ty to grimace slightly. Dawn says she needs to get out of the dress and Ty says he needs to find Anders a new fridge.

At the hotel Anders sees Michelle and says, "shouldn't you be warming my bed?"  Michelle tells him that Thor is living proof why the Goddesses are trying to stop the Johnsons. Michelle doesn't think anything is going to happen because of Axel's reaction to Delphine.

Thor takes Axel out on the farm and asks him how can he know for sure that he is Odin.  He tosses a hammer and it kills a rabbit.  When they find the rabbit, Thor says, "before I grant you access to my daughters holy of hollies, I need to know that you are the real deal." Could Thor be anymore sexist? Shouldn't Delphine have a say in who she sleeps with?  Axl responds by picking up Thor's hammer throwing it and killing one of his goats.  When Thor sees the dead goat he says, "I doubted the word of Odin, I paid the price." He picks up the goat and says time to meat the daughter. Back at the house Thor pushes him into Delphine's room and says that he is making stew afterwards.

Delphine refers to Axel as my lord which irritates him and he tells her that his name is Axel and he doesn't want to be called my lord. This causes Delphine to break out in tears.  Back at the hotel, Ingrid knocks on Olaf's door to tell him that the lodge has a hot tub.  She points out that she has vodka.  

Delphine says apologizes to Axel saying that she is not normally a crier but that this is so important to Thor.  She says that Thor is awesome, to which Axel responds, "I pity any rabbit who crosses his path." Delphine points out that Axel is Odin and therefore more powerful than Thor. She says that she is Thor's special goddess and up until now she had no idea which goddess she was.  Axel tells her about the ceremony when he turned 21 and when he asks about her 21st birthday, Delphine says that she got drunk and felt a little dizzy and then she got pregnant. She asks if this will be a problem for them to hook up as God and Goddess. Axel says, "yeah I think it might be". Delphine starts to cry again.

At a bar, Michelle and Anders are flirting again.  He notices that people are keeping their distance and says that people sense he is a God. Michelle says that every stupid decision that got them where they are today - as far from Asgard as possible was made by the Gods." Michelle believes that if the Gods had worked together with the Goddesses even in the minor ones that thing would be very different. Anders responds, "the trouble with Goddesses is that you can't trust them."  In the hot tub, Ingrid and Olaf are getting shit faced talking about how difficult it is to be an oracle.  

Ty goes back to see Mike and he gives him tickets that were sent to him for sing-a-long Sound of Music.  Ty is not the least bit impressed and declares it the gayest thing ever. Mike says that maybe she likes that kind of thing to which Ty asks, "what makes her think that I would like this type of thing?" He is happy that Dawn wants to go out with him not to this. He wants to know what message she is sending. Ty asks if he has gone beyond being a friend and Mike finishes his statement to add gay friend. Ty wants to know how to broach this subject with a woman. Mike suggests that he just talk about it. Okay, this is yet another failure.  Just because a man is gay does not mean that he would be interested in this.  This whole conversation is about one ridiculous stereotype and it is not amusing, though it is being played for comedy.

In her room, Delphine tells Axel about the man who got her pregnant. Axel asks if Thor knows and Delphine says that if he knew that he would kill Ross first and then Delphine. She suggests that they tell Thor that the baby is Axel's but Axel reject the suggestion saying that he does not want to stay around and raise someone else's kid.  Delphine responds saying that she does not find him attractive. Axel asks which Goddess was Delphine's mother, and she tells him that her mother was not a God.  She asks him to play along until she and Ross can disappear together so that Thor doesn't kill Ross, Delphine or Axel.

Axel and Delphine approach Thor and he says he has been waiting and Axel announces that he and Delphine have decided to take things slowly. Thor says, "I've given you my permission.You can do whatever you want with the girl as long as it gets us our powers back." Uh huh more sexism.  Axel says that it doesn't work like that.  Thor suggests that if Thor were a true God that he would have sex with Delphine on top of the table and he tells Axel that he is not leaving.

Ty is dropping off the fish when Dawn shows up and asks if he got the the tickets. She asks if he is already going and Ty asks why the play would be his thing. Apparently Anders told her that Ty is gay.  Ty says that he isn't gay and that Anders said that because he knows that Dawn is a woman that he could fall for in a very big way and that Anders wants her all to himself.  Dawn says that she has to go and has a wedding dinner.

Anders continues to flirt with Michelle when his phone rings.  Ty is pissed and wants to know why Anders told Dawn that he's gay.  Anders says that he might as well be for all the use that he is to women. Ty says that he has no right interfering in his life and Anders says he does it because he cares and because it's fun. Dawn comes back in and Ty asserts again that he is not gay.  She asks if what he said about her being the one he could fall for was in the heat of the moment. She admits that she figured out awhile ago that he was special to.  Ty tells Dawn that he doesn't want to be her friend and they kiss. 

When Michelle and Anders return to the hotel, they learn that Ingrid and Olaf's naked dancing got them all thrown out of the hotel.  Axel calls Anders and says that they have got to get him out of there and that Delphine is not the Frigg and that Thor is a mad man who wants to kill him.  Michelle gathers Ingrid up and says oh dear, a wild goose chase and takes off.

Back at the farm, Thor asks what the real problem is. Axel tells Thor that he is not a Goddess but Thor does not care because she is the daughter of a God.  Axel says that he and Delphine hooking up is not going to get him his powers back and he says that Thor is out of his head.  Thor picks up his hammer pissed off as Anders arrives outside.  Anders grabs the surf board as Axel comes running out.  Thor throws the hammer and it gets stuck in the surf board. Anders tries to interject saying that killing Odin is a bad idea, but Thor simply punches him in the nose. Axl tells Thor to leave Anders alone and reminds him that he is Odin.  He says that Delphine is a nice girl but she is not Frigg. He adds that Thor need to stop trying to give her to other Gods because she is mortal, and need a mortal guy. Finally, finally someone said it but it would have been nice if it was said before it became common knowledge that Delphine was not Frigg. Axel brings up Ross, but when Thor calls him a simpleton, Delphine protests that Ross is a good man, that she loves him and is going to have his baby. Thor is angry, and Odin says, "that's a great thing right." Thor says that it's a good thing because he never thought that she would meet anyone.  Axel announces that he and Anders are leaving and that he will be back to check up on him. Thor answers, "Odin's got some balls after all." 

The next morning, when Dawn wakes, Ty is not in bed with her.  She discovers that the fish are dead and Ty admits that he killed them. He promises to replace them and offers her some coffee to warm up.  Dawn says that she is not cold and hardly ever gets cold.  We get a flashback to the night before of Ty getting out of bed and wrapping her in a blanket because she is shivering.  Dawn asks Ty to be her date to the wedding and he says yes.

When Anders gets home, he finds a box of fish sticks in his aquarium and a bar fridge instead of his regular fridge. I guess the brothers are even now. 

Okay, I would be lying if I didn't say that this show is my guilty pleasure. In so many ways it's sexist and homophobic but yet I keep being drawn in.