Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Warehouse 13, Season 4, Episode 9: The Ones You Love

Evil brother Adrian has infiltrated the Warehouse again – oh will someone please kill him! he’s arrived to deliver more ominous threats – honestly I don’t get Artie’s shock and horror. I mean, ominous threats and warnings are pretty much how Evil Brother Adrian says hello.

His latest plot? To send Artefacts to Pete’s ex-wife, Claudia’s brother and Myka’s pregnant sister.

Pete’s ex-wife Amanda, at least, knows the big secret after her wedding and the bee hives (old Artefact). She’s burning up and feeling awful – and her touch boils water. She has received a package in the post – but all it is is an empty leather box. She collapses and they rush her to hospital where she and Pete have a touching moment (not that kind of touching). As she burns up he finds a tattoo on her back – he touches that and it leaps to him, giving Pete his obligatory shirtless scene, and passing the burning-up to him. Contacting Artie, it seems the tattoo is of Russian terrorist, Kotik, history’s first suicide bomber who used kerosene to try and kill the Tsar. Because he’s interrupted by Brother Adrian, all Artie can tell him is to get the tattoo off his body – cut it off if he has to.

Pete gives Amanda a scalpel and they attempt the desperate act of cutting it off – but it moves before she can touch his skin with the knife. Then the radiation detector goes off. They hurry him to a bomb shelter to contain any blast – and there’s a touching and funny good bye moment that makes me wonder if Amanda is going to re-become Pete’s love interest

He calls Myka to say goodbye as he burns up and the radiation meter keeps beeping (the bunker keeps out telephones but not Artefact communication). She asks for a resume and points out the box is leather- leather is skin, possibly even the skin of Kotik. To transfer it, he needs to push the box against the tattoo. Awkward because of where it’s placed, but he manages and just before he explodes, the tattoo moves to the box. Clever, I like it. Time for Pete to taunt Amanda with what she said when she was all sad and thought he was going to die.

At Myka’s sister’s, Tracy, they meet joyfully – and Tracy’s eyes glow green. Apparently the hyper squealing is nothing to do with an Artefact and how these 2 are supposed to act. Unfortunately, with the new kid on the way they have received 101 new items, gifts et al – the Artefact could be anything. And her eyes keep glowing green. And Myka gets purple, staining goop on the gifts trying to de-Artefact them – then spreads it around in a desperate attempt to clean them. While her sister, green eyes and all, pours poison into Myka’s tea. Ah, sibling rivalry. Myka has a great excuse for ruining the gift and accidentally knocks over her tear – which burns through the carpet.

Then Tracy finds a knife and the fight is on – except, as Myka points out, she’s a trained Secret Service Agent, despite this there is an actual fight and lots of sisterly sniping as Myka ties Tracy up with kids’ toys. Pete arrives in time to see Tracy beginning to feel ill and her heart giving out – time for a massive trawl through everything – including the wrapping, until they find the Artefact. Day is saved. Time for awkward explanations.

Claudia finds her brother Joshua encased in amber. She calls Leena and they brainstorm what it could be – a tiny scroll belonging to Pliny the Elder – which is in Joshua’s hand. Inside the amber. She takes a blow torch to it, heats it up, then ices it – causing the amber to shatter and letting her clear out the scroll. It seems that Artie was the one who sent Joshua to California in the first place.

Mrs. Frederick and Jinks are off to speak to a priest about the Brotherhood of the Black Diamond (at least Brother Adrian belongs to a secret organisation that has a cool name and good bling) and look at the secret Vatican library. Jinks is there for protection with the weapon Mrs. Frederick smuggled in because no-one, absolutely no-one, messes with Mrs. Frederick’s purse. In the secret room it’s clear it’s been abandoned in a hurry.

They search for secret panels (and Mrs. Frederick continues to be awesome) and Jinks gets sucked into a painting. She sees this and quietly and efficiently fixes it (I love while everyone else is panicking around Artefacts, she just calmly resolves the matter). The frame for the painting is made from the Tree of Life and can capture living people inside it. By unframing it, she releases Jinks – and then the Brotherhood who Adrian also imprisoned in the picture. One by one they come out, are outraged by their presence in the library and Jink teslas them out.

Finally able to talk to them, they tell the Brotherhood about Brother Adrian’s actions… and then Brother Adrian appears from the painting as well. The real Brother Adrian

A quick consultation between Claudia, Pete and Myka and they think something is wrong with Artie – he said the database is down but Claudia said it wasn’t, he hung up on Pete when he was in trouble and he sent Joshua to California without telling them or seeming to know about it.

At the Warehouse, Leena catches Artie loading a gun – he’s ready to shoot Evil Brother Adrian should he re-appear (good!). And re-appear he does – shoot him! Go Artie. He catches up to brother Adrian and, without pre-amble, shoots him (excellent) in the shoulder (you missed!). Because he’s not a murderer (is he just going to shoot bits off until he’s very sorry? Because I’m good with that too). He takes Evil Brother Adrian to the bronzer – and has him bronzed. That seems like a good idea too.

Except it doesn’t stick – the bronze statue disappears and Evil Brother Adrian suddenly appears next to the Bronzer – unbronzed. Leena arrives to see what’s happening – and Evil Brother Adrian starts laughing while Artie all but looses it. Leena begs Artie to stop – there’s no-one there, there is no Evil Brother Adrian, Artie is hallucinating. Artie grows even more unstable and panicked by this and Mrs. Frederick calls Leena. Artie becomes more panicked, breaking in a truly superb bit of acting, looking back at all the times he thought he faced Brother Adrian and realising it was false. Mrs. Frederick tells Leena to leave the Warehouse. She doesn’t she wants to help.

Artie stands up, calm, level and collected, and talks about the Dark Vault. This is Evil Artie. He turns to Leena and says she’s in his way. When next we see her, she’s dead on the floor.

I’m looking back because I’m sure not everything’s explainable by Artie hallucinating and having black outs and multiple personalities. Maybe… but then, when Jinks and Claudia saw Brother Adrian they saw him disguised as Artie using Harriet Tubman’s Thimble… so could just as easily have been Artie disguising himself as Brother Adrian. Oh, I take off my hat and give a round of applause, that is clever, that is very clever. I’m impressed and genuinely shocked.

But they cannot cannot cannot kill Leena – no way, that can’t stand. Apart from the fact the character has never been developed, there’s not nearly enough inclusion on this programme to kill her off.