Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Teen Wolf, Season 3, Episode 3: Fireflies

Some kids are out in the woods catching fireflies… aww bless.

When they run into a werewolf who chases them – they run and hide in a flimsy tin shack. I think the werewolf is Boyd, does he have a can opener? He lifts the tin shack off them and they drop their fireflies – he’s so distracted by glow bugs, the kids manage to escape.

Damn, lucky thing he doesn’t have an advanced sense of smell that would let him track them ri- oh.

Scott calls Derek to tell him he’s lost Boyd – he had to because Boyd is just too fast, strong and angry. And he has the kids (Scott, no stealing Boyd’s snack – he’d probably share, but you can never just have one, right?).

Lydia, who has not had a good night we’ll remember, what with her random screaming, and she’s going out into the full moon to get some ibuprofen.

Scott and Derek keep running through the woods. They’d probably go faster if they didn’t deliberately aim for trees that let them be all impressively acrobatic. Unfortunately, Boyd and Cora are sticking together now – and Derek confirms that, yes, anyone they meet is snack food.

Lydia, who doesn’t seem to be all there, stops at the swimming pool. Even she seems confused as to why she’s there. She sees something – someone – floating in the water, face down. She approaches, desperately hoping they’re not dead. Good news! It’s just a dummy! Bad news – the lifeguard is totally dead and there’s a growing lake of blood under his seat from his slashed throat

All this action means we have to spend some time with Allison moping over Scott’s revelation – Mummy Argent tried to kill him. This would be because your whole family is evil Allison. You included. Scott didn’t want to tell her that her mother was an evil murderer because he didn’t want to ruin her last memory of her. Silly Scott, you almost let Allison believe her mother was the outsider – now she has confirmation her mother was just as evil as the rest of the clan. She angstily fiddles with one of her arrowheads.

Meanwhile, in these very very very busy woods, a couple of women are camping and, after one deftly avoids the snake trying to drag her into Mordor (her words, confirming that she is probably super awesome and deserving of permanent character status) gets in the tent and they start making out (first romantic/sexual contact between a same-sex couple in Teen Wolf!) when Emily screams because the tent is covered in a blanket of bugs. She runs, screaming, covered in bugs, trips and they catch up with her. Cover her. Consume her. Ok that’s new

The other woman nearly gets nommed by Cora but Scott, Isaac and Derek drive Cora off – Scott tells the woman to get out of the woods. It’s at this point that Stile arrives to see Lydia, she called him for support, though he’s horrified that she called the police first (much to her snarky objection). Stiles calls Scott and tells him they have a body with its throat ripped out. Scott wants him to get closer to find out “if it’s them” who ripped out the throat. Now Stiles asks “who else is ripping throats out” but the fact I don’t know “them” in this sentence means the Alphas or Stiles or Cora (or freaky bug thing) should tell you how silly that question is. Stiles sees that the man is wearing a purity ring.

In the woods Scott’s all “they killed someone” but Derek isn’t sure – not unless they’ve learned how to teleport (“they” being Boyd and Cora). Scott wants to know how they’re going to stop them given how fast and strong they are – and even if they catch them, what do they do? Kill them? Hold them down until sunrise? No, they need the help of a werewolf hunter

Oh dear gods, tell me I didn’t hear that? The Argents? Well I suppose there’s a vague chance I’ll get to see another Argent killed, that’s always fun.

Elsewhere in the woods, Sherriff Stilinski interviews Caitlin, the surviving woman. Her tale of a woman with glowing eyes and fangs doesn’t have a lot of credence since she took some drugs earlier, but Stilinksi still wants to find Emily – and doesn’t entirely dismiss Caitlin, saying she saw “something” not “someone.”

Scott goes to see Daddy Argent who just dropped his shopping bag full of eggs, so I can totally understand not being in a good mood, but pointing a gun at Scott seems a little extreme. From a car at some distance Isaac and Derek watch Scott expecting failure. And Isaac asks about Derek’s sister – he gets a look and decides to ask later. And gets another look. Later like never. Meanwhile Argent doesn’t know Boyd (his second name apparently, it’s Vernon Boyd). Argent says he saw Scott’s world decimate his family, his wife, his sister, his father and brainwash his daughter – he doesn’t want to step foot in it again

Point of order Argent, your family was decimated not by werewolves but because they were sadistic monstrous killers seeking power, unable to deal with their victims engaging in self-defence, and massacring entire families. Just saying.

Scott tricks Argent to go to the crime scene and the wave of guilt/pity whatever prompts him to help. So he takes them in the woods and, I kid you not, tells them to stop tracking footprints when they don’t know how and concentrate on their sense of smell instead.

Ok, he’s right that they’re trying to suppress their wolfiness under the full moon, but 3 werewolves just had to be told to use their sense of smell by a human. These wolves fail at werewolfdom.

He adds that hunters use scent to lead werewolves into a trap (at least, werewolves who REMEMBER they have super noses), since a werewolf can track a smell for 2 miles (and we see Allison putting her blood onto some leaves – Boyd smelling it. Could Allison get eaten?) More usefully, werewolves run hot so you can spot them with infra-red. He hands out goggles but Derek doesn’t need them – his eyes glowing red. He adds a warning that, even suppressed, they still have a human side and are still intelligent

Argent adds that Boyd and Cora are killing for fun so may go on killing all night and the gang decides to trap Boyd and Cora in the school – because it wasn’t wrecked enough last year. They could trap them in the Boiler Room – and everyone’s sure the school is empty. So we pan to new teacher Ms. Blake who is working late. Of course.

Daddy Argent has some other tools – ultrasonic emitters only werewolves can hear that drives them in a direction – which the wolfy boys don’t appreciate, but they can use them to drive Boyd and Cora to the school. Time for dramatic placing of spiky things! Seriously, planting an oversized tent peg does not require backflips, I’m pretty sure.

Time for Stiles and Lydia break – with lots of Stiles babble and Lydia snark. Lydia doesn’t know how she found the body – she didn’t even know where she was until she got out of the car. And the last time that happened was when she was possessed by Peter.

Who just joined Derek at the wolf hunt. “Cora’s alive!” “I heard, let’s throw the reunion party when she’s not an unstoppable killing machine.” He may be evil but he does have some of the best lines. Peter thinks this is Deucalion’s plan, kill off Boyd and Cora so Derek has less ties and is more willing to join the Alpha pack – and adds how little he cares about the people Cora and Boyd kill, and drops in that even killing Boyd and Cora, Derek is an Alpha, he can always make more werewolves.

Melissa McCall calls in Stiles to the hospital because there’s something else on the body (she threatens Stiles with painful death if he tells anyone – I don’t know why, Melissa is the only medical professional we see at that hospital. She quits, they’re screwed). The body was strangled with a cord – which isn’t really a werewolf thing. And he was clubbed in the back of the head hard enough to show brain matter. He has quite a few lethal injuries, someone was being very thorough. And there’s a girl with the exact same injuries as well, a double murder.

Break in the werewolf hunt for an entomology lesson; Daddy Argent points to a glowing firefly and tells Scott that Californian fireflies don’t glow. To which Scott asks exactly why this is relevant? And do you know what else doesn’t glow? Rabid werewolves! Rabid annoying werewolves who decide to jump over the school rather than go through it

Melissa shows Stiles the second body, a girl who was garrotted, then realises Stiles is tearing up. He knows her – it’s Heather. And Stiles makes a leap of logic – Heather wanted to lose her virginity and the guy was wearing a purity ring – they’re both virgins. Stiles asks if anyone else has been brought in and Melissa tells Stiles about Caitlin and the disappearing Emily. He says he has to speak to Caitlin because he thinks he knows what’s happening.

Stiles speaks to Caitlin, they’d gone to the woods for a romantic setting because she wanted it to be special – being Emily’s first time.

At the school, Allison uses flares from her arrows to drive Boyd and Cora inside. Once in, Scott and Derek lead the two rabid wolves into the boiler room then spray them with steam (causing cat noises? That was a cat noise), run past them and out – securing the door behind them. Plan worked!

Almost – because Scott can hear heartbeats inside. All 3 of them. Oops. Yes Ms Blake is picking up paper supplies that happened to be stored in the boiler room.

Derek decides to go in alone and tells Scott to close the door behind him. Scott says they’ll kill him or he’ll kill them and he tells Scott that’s why he’s going in alone. Inside, he fights Boyd and Cora. He succeeds in holding them both back, but he can’t control their arms and they slash him repeatedly as he collapses from blood loss, not realising that simply holding on to the mincing machines is a bad idea.

The sun comes up and Isaac and Scott burst into the boiler room. They find Boyd and Cora, still on the floor and Derek on his knees, covered in wounds but alive and conscious. He tells Isaac and Scott to get Boyd and Cora out of there while he takes care of Ms. Bates.

To the sound of dramatic music, he goes to her and holds out his hand to her, shaking, she takes it and he helps her to her feet. She gives him a tremulous smile. And lo, Derek got himself a love interest.

In the hospital, Stiles explains things to Scott and says he wishes Boyd and Cora had killed the guy. Because now they’re going to find Emily (cut to the police lead by Sheriff Stilinski finding Emily’s body strung to a tree by her neck). They’re all going to have the same 3 injuries – strangled, throat slashed, head bashed in. Stiles calls it the threefold death and says they’re sacrifices.

I kind of want a school PSA announcement “all students, for your own safety we advise you all start fucking. Condoms are at the front desk.”

First lesbian/bi women on Teen Wolf. One is eaten by bugs within seconds of meeting her. At least they got more action in their 10 seconds of appearance than Danny has managed in 3 seasons.

Tell me again about the joyful gay friendliness of Teen Wolf, please do.

So we have human sacrifice of virgins and random bugs – the plots certainly thickening here, especially with the threads from last week as well. And Boyd survived, I was so sure he was going to die.

I honestly have no idea where this show is going - but I like it and I’m intrigued.