Tuesday, June 24, 2014

True Blood, Season 7, Episode 1: Just Gonna Be Here

Continuing right where we left off with a horde of infected vampires attacking the little party between humans and prospective uninfected vampire guards.

Lots of fighting, some brief reminders of Sookie’s oh-so-special fae blood. Lots of blood, lots of death. In the battle Nicole is kidnapped and Sam in dog form chases after her. Holly and Arlene are also kidnapped. A whistle calls all the infected vampires away mid carnage.

Lettie May cradles the remains of a vampire gasping that they killed Tara. Tara is dead…

Andy leaves Adilyn under Jessica’s protection (and under strict instructions not to invite Jessica in). She calls the newly recast James to check on him but he’s worried she’s not eating. Sookie reels around the aftermath at the bar, hearing everyone’s thoughts including everyone deciding to mentally call Sookie a slut while cradling their dead and dying loved ones. Really? Because Sookie would really be the top of everyone’s priority list right now? Even Alcide gets in a round of “evil vampire sexing” aimed at Sookie.

Sookie decides to storm off alone (right after Bill told Andy he couldn’t go off without a vampire bodyguard to keep him safe, so Sookie is still making good decisions here).

One of the many people, his opposition candidate for mayor no less, sees Sam return to the bar – and sees him shift. He, Vince, confronts Sam about it but Sam says now is really not the time for the exposition about shapeshifters. Every human is assigned a vampire to get him home safe (James goes with Lafayette). Including Sam because he can hardly duck out of his own plan

Back to Sookie and her damn plot armour – she refuses to answer her phone from Alcide and has a tantrum and throws it away. So she’s walking alone in the vampire haunted night, on a forested road and now she doesn’t have a phone either. She also trips over a body.

…and yet it’s TARA who dies?!

To Pam who is in Marrakesh playing Russian Roulette for… reasons. She’s all angsty and full of pain. She’s chasing clues to find Eric. One of her contacts offers his daughter to feed on because only kids have clean blood in North Africa, for REASONS. Pam declines.

Back in Bon Temps, Adilyn opens a window to talk to Jessica about her whole sister slaughter and her addictive blood and Jessica’s boyfriend James (and Adilyn has a crush on her step-brother because why not). An infected vampire arrives looking to nom on the tasty Adilyn so Jessica decides to take a break and have Adilyn drink her blood so Jessica can always find her. Which is a great idea I’m sure.

To Sookie (awww, do we have to) who managed to make it home alive (whyyyyy?) and argues with Alcide about his blamey-thoughts which goes round in circles because she knows it’s unfair to judge people for every random thought but that doesn’t make it any less painful. Anyway, they make up when they go to bed

Jason and Violet return home to find a group of people with stakes trying to hunt down diseased vamps – he tries to encourage them to leave the hunting to the authorities but no-one is exactly impressed by the Bon Temps PD. Violet speaks up to protect him as they get more aggressive, rather dramatically threatening them into retreating. They leave but Jason objects to her speaking for him. He has a full blown temper tantrum for making him feel all emasculated – on top of their whole odd sex life which is limited to him giving her oral sex. He goes all cave man on her “I’m going to fuck you, you’re going to fuck me back, you hear me woman.” Which apparently pushes all of Violet’s buttons, exactly what she has been waiting for and they have sex on a police car.

James and Lafayette get to Lafayette’s place and reach for the bong; James commiserates with Tara’s death before talking about all his dead friends he lost in Viet Nam (he was a pacifist). He talks about an awkward-pause-friend who died and his dad who called James a f@ggot and tried to beat James to death with it when a vampire turned him. This long story is all James’s convoluted lesson on grieving. Lafayette gives James his blood.
Over to Lettie Mae who deals with Tara’s death by deciding Tara is talking to her while Rev Daniels tries to calm her down. Wila is their guard-vamps. Willa realises with Tara gone, Pam out roaming and Eric vanished she has nowhere to go – Rev Daniels offers her the basement of the church to sleep in

Bill and Andy find and investigate the nest of infected vampires – and find several bodies strung up and bled out. They also find Vince and his merry band of hunters, Vince quickly blaming Andy and Sam for the whole teaming vampires up with humans. There’s some talking back and forth, Andy pretends to be on their side so they give him a gun (y’know, after 7 seasons I have to conclude that the people of Bon Temps just aren’t all that bright) and pulls out levels of badass you never knew Andy had. Bill tries to make nice to Andy for being so awesome but Andy is really not up to making friends with Bill after the slaughter of his daughters

All of the kidnapped people are held in Fangtasia in Shreveport and the policeman among them loses his shit while Holly holds everything together. The useless policeman gets chewed on next – that’s several seasons past time.

As the sun rises, Jessica and the Infected vamp who wants to eat Adilyn play daylight chicken (whyyyy?! Infectivamp can’t get inside? Will no-one in this episode make sense!?). Adilyn, worried about all this, invites Jessica in.


There’s something in the water of this damn town. There must be. Lead I think. Maybe mercury.

Jessica comes in, nearly eats Adilyn but resists, and flees to the attic with the infectivamp gets chomped.

Daylight and the church is full for Rev’s rousing speech. And Lettie Mae decides to blame Sookie for Tara’s death, joined by a full cerebral choir of people judging Sookie. Because Sookie is the centre of everyone’s attention right now. She stands up and has a great big speech all about her.

So. Much. Fail.

They killed Tara.

Seriously? Off-screen? She has been a constant on this show for 7 seasons and she gets killed off in a random freaking encounter in the first episode and we don’t even see it? No, no no there are NO excuses for this bullshit – after the way she has been treated throughout, we end it here?!

No, tell me the off-screen bullshit is just a way for her to not be really dead but make us think she’s dead. It’s not the first time they’ve played the “TARA IS DEAD – ha ha just kidding” card! And I kind of want a more reliable witness than Lettie May who firmly holds the “comic relief” spot.

And Pam – that whole relationship that was finally building between her and Tara? Well not only is Tare freaking DEAD, but Pam has decided to go running around the world looking for Eric who completely abandoned her (AGAIN – how far does Pam stand in Eric’s priorities? 7th? 8th?)

And Tara died.

Let’s also throw in North Africa where parents sell their children to be eaten by vampires – because the only clean blood is child blood in North Africa. Unlike in the US where the bottles are made and the infection started, because REASONS… And you’ve got to love how Pam is the one taking the moral high ground here

Sookie is still too damn foolish to live. Everything is still about her even when it goes against all reason that it would be remotely about her. Blame Sam? I can see it. Blame Bill? Yup. Blame the governor and his toxic virus? Sure. Blame Sookie and her dirty dirty dirty sexing? Really?

And all this “my telepathy is overwhelming” would have been a great plot point – in season 1. The last 3 seasons or so we’ve almost forgotten Sookie is a telepath.

Yet it’s Tara who dies.

And Adilyn’s becoming all friendly with the vampire who killed all her sisters and may eat her as well. As a bonus, Jessica can now track her anyway. Of course

Yet it’s Tara who dies?

Did we throw in an anti-gay slur for funsies or is this foreshadowing of James and Lafayette? (I’m assuming that if James is gay or bi he will end up with Lafayette. LGB characters on TV tend to exert a gravitational pull on each other – if there are 2, they will nearly always be a couple).

And Violet – this ancient, might, powerful, dominant woman who has been in control for so long and ruled the roost at the prison? She just needs a man to take charge! Of course she bloody does. Ugh this show…

And Tara is freaking DEAD.

I have a feeling this is going to be a truly memorable season. That is not necessarily a good thing