So, to carry on from last week – NO DUKE NOOOOO! Post sex
talk between Duke and Mara discussing finding the Aethur, fixing Duke and Mara
trying to convince him she cares.
Nathan and Vince meet, Vince is still super suspicious of
the very suspicious Charlotte while Nathan is now softening in her because
Audrey is sick and in Nathan’s world, Audrey > everything else. Nathan also
tells Vince about the Aethur being stolen by one of the Guard.
After investigating, Nathan and Dwight conclude the
Aethur thief is Kirk (finally confirmed his name) who has the suffocation
Trouble (I saw it was him from the CCTV pictures. I’d be smug but that would
just make me more competent than Nathan and Dwight but that’s hardly something
to be proud of).
Dwight goes to see Charlotte and tells her all about Duke’s
Trouble because he loves to share.
Speaking of, Suspicious Charlotte warns Audrey she’s
getting worse and asks more questions about Audrey’s uniqueness (to
go with her creepy stalker file). Charlotte continues to be concerned about
how very bad Audrey is and Audrey grows more upset and angsty. Vince arrives to
rifle through Charlotte’s things and tell Audrey his suspicions – and finds and
shows Audrey Charlotte’s Audrey/Mara/Lucy/Sarah stalker file. Might want to
hide that a bit better Charlotte. Vince takes hurried copies on his phone. Back
to Vince’s office where they discuss what Charlotte could possibly want and Vince
points out that the photos suggests Audrey doesn’t age – definitely a plus.
Audrey tells Nathan about Charlotte’s suspiciousness
(what will he do now? On the one hand he’s healing Audrey, the centre of his
existence, but now Audrey, blessed be her name, is having doubts!) Nathan
realises Charlotte is studying her, and Audrey then confesses just how sick she
is. Nathan overcomes his quandary by getting mad at Duke instead. Nathan
decides to get the Aethur from Kirk and use it to lure Mara out (risking Mara
getting Aethur for the sake of Audrey? Of course!)
Which is when Duke gets a call from Mara telling him
someone is breaking in – he hears her scream and fight on the phone. When he
gets there, the room is trashed, there’s some dramatic blood staining and Mara
is gone. I’m going to bet on a secret Mara ploy, personally. Duke does find a
button in the wreckage.
Dwight goes to a bar to talk to some guy about how he’s
falling for Charlotte – what, in case we missed it?
And Duke goes to see Gloria who is surprisingly gentle in telling him how wrong he is. Anyway she uses her computer to identify Mara’s kidnapper – Kirk. How did Kirk even know where Duke and Mara were? Anyway Duke arrives at Kirk’s at the same time as Nathan so they both get to snarl at each other. Nathan can’t believe Duke is trusting Mara (nor can I), Duke thinks Mara will help him save the town (which I don’t believe Nathan cares about). The two struggle – and find a pair of clippers with blood and hair on them: it looks like Mara’s hair. Nathan doesn’t care if Mara has been tortured (so long as she can help Audrey – note the town is not mentioned). Duke knocks Nathan unconscious and steals the Clue he found.
That clue takes him to where Kirk is and he starts questioning
him about Mara – only his rough (ish
honestly this is the least menacing menace that has ever been attempted)
handling gets some Troubled blood on Duke’s hands which turns him into his
usual silver-eyed super-strong killing machine. An anxious Kirk turns on his
suffocation Trouble which doesn’t work on the Silver eyed (is that new? Was he
always immune?) Duke breaks Kirk’s neck. Oopsie
Nathan, now conscious, arrives to find Kirk’s body.
Nathan calls Audrey and she tries to make Nathan and Duke play nice
Duke goes to try and intimidate Benny, one of Kirk’s
friends – and Benny and his gun wielding friends hide when Duke’s eyes turn
silver. No blood has touched him, the silver eye thing just happened. Everyone
in the caravan with Benny starts suffocating – Duke just gave Benny Kirk’s
Trouble. Well, that’s new.
Vince and Audrey confront Charlotte and she pulls out an
explanation of researching a reincarnation Trouble – they don’t get to pursue
further because Dwight arrives and takes her away all temper tantrummy because
Vince dares to check up on his precious Charlotte. Charlotte and Dwight go to
store room to make out and have sex.
Vince is still investigating and finds that Charlotte’s
DNA doesn’t actually match the DNA sample the Pentagon has on file. Audrey
realises they have to convince Dwight so they need Charlotte’s real identity –
to that toughest of government agencies: the DMV! (Audrey’s FBI background
confirms that vehicle paperwork is actually really hard to fake)
This involves Vince pretending to have a heart attack
(seriously are there no doctors in this town?) which she sees through quite
easily. Still he gets her keys and Audrey and Vince sneak into her car where
everything seems to confirm Charlotte’s identity. Vince still isn’t convinced
but then they find a ring – a ring that is identical to a ring Lucy (previous
Audrey) gave Nathan’s father and the ring Audrey got from Vince who in turn got
it from Sarah (previous Audrey).
Nathan and Duke meet, being all peaceful for once, and
Duke tells Nathan what has been happening with his weird Trouble. While he’s
there Duke gets a special delivery – a canister that contained the Aethur,
inside which is a toe which Duke recognises as Mara’s by the nail polish. Duke
remembers back to when he threatened to do that to Mara when she was his
prisoner (I say again, this is a Mara ploy). They agree to work together for the
sake of Duke’s health and Audrey’s.
Mara calls Duke and, yes, I’m right this is all an evil
Mara ploy – Kirk stole the Aethur for her – though she did actually cut off her
own toe…which is a level of gaaaaaaaah, what, no aaaaaaaarghle. She taunts Duke
until he loses his temper – his eyes go black and he starts crying black goo.
All this manipulation was part of Mara’s master plan. Duke’s black tears float
to his hand and are absorbed by his skin. That is probably a bad thing
Audrey and Nathan go to confront Vince and Charlotte
about her lies and deceptions so Dwight decides to spill all of Audrey’s
secrets to Charlotte because he is that kind of clever. After which Charlotte
admits that Audrey is clever like Mara; she promises to tell them everything if
she gets her ring back. Charlotte takes the ring from Nathan explaining that
every member of her family has one – and Nathan reveals he can feel Charlotte.
Charlotte is Audrey’s mother
Wait. What where why how?!
Nathan and Duke both frustrate me. Audrey/Mara completely
replace common sense for them. Nathan became Team!Charlotte because Audrey –
and I can’t even begin to unpack the hot mess of Duke deciding everyone hates
him so he’s going to throw in his lot with the villain. And then there’s Dwight
who thinks sunshine emanates from Charlotte’s nethers and finds even the most
reasonable suspicion to be completely unacceptable.
I am tired of the men on this show deciding they need to grow antlers and drive off everyone else for the sake of their women. I’m tired of their libido destroying any pretence of common sense and I kind of want the whole town to be washed into the sea and make Troubled lobsters.
Y’know, when I was thinking of the problems that Haven
had in previous seasons, “not enough straight romance plot lines” was not on
the list.
Meanwhile, I’m having real trouble not just being Team
Mara because she is considerably more crafty than the rest of the cast
together. But then, so are those aforementioned lobsters.
I also see Haven is doing its standard tactic of finally revealing plot points 2 episodes before the season finale.
