Monday, May 21, 2012

Face Off: The Men Sookie Broke

'Foto: True Blood' photo (c) 2010, Cristian Krause - license:
Now, if you’ve been strong (or masochistic) enough to continue reading the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris, you  know that when it comes to love, Sookie has an almost magical effect. She ruins men for all other women. Yes, when a man has lain with the Sook-eh no other women will do - indeed, in Deadlocked, Quinn rang Sookie for no other reason than to remind us how much every one of Sookie’s lovers pines for her forever more.

Because of this, Sookie naturally can pick and choose between these men (forever marked as hers), so, if you were in Sookie’s shoes, which one would you choose?

Bill Compton

Bill was turned at the end of the civil war and was 30 years old when he became a vampire.  Despite the passage of time, he still has an antebellum sensibility in his attitude.  He is secretive and has a history of lying to Sookie.  Much of the time, he frames his dishonesty as attempting to keep her safe.  

Though he is now Sookie’s ex boyfriend, he continues to moon over her and confess his love for her constantly.  Her best interest and her safety are always uppermost in his mind and if that means lying to her, so be it.

Alcide Herveux

He’s big, he’s manly and he’s head of the local werewolf pack. Alcide has never actually been with Sookie, but he did masquerade as her boyfriend once- and that was enough, he’s now hooked in and branded. He has had a series of girlfriends who were, of course, infinitely inferior to Sookie (as all women seem to be) but were also vicious killers as well. This means Alcide has had practice dealing with dangerous and difficult relationships which should prepare him for the Spunkiness that Sookie throws at him. He’s already well practiced in following Sookie’s every whim, so he’s clearly training for the job


Quinn is a weretiger whom Sookie met during the struggle for Alpha of Alcide’s pack.  He functioned as a sort of rebound man in between Bill and Eric.  Quinn and Sookie didn’t actually make love, but they spent quite a bit of time groping each other.  In the end, Quinn was handed his walking papers because Sookie felt that he would always be more devoted to his mother and his sister than her.  The lesson in this of course is that Sookie must come first.  Could Sookie ever be with a man who actually cared about his family and her at the same time?

Eric Northman

Like many men around Sookie, the ancient, sexy, well-endowed (as we’re repeatedly told) viking vampire Eric was quickly drawn to her Spunky charms. Sookie, however, resisted stoically for a very long time (though she did invite him to an orgy once) as Eric repeatedly stalks and harrasses her. She eventually caved when Eric had his entire personality stripped, his memories erased and was reduced to a level of almost child-like trust - then, damaged, vulnerable man to play with, Sookie was in there! Which was totally not creepy, honest. Mutual harassment?

Despite having a relationship with Eric and even marrying him according to vampire traditions, trouble quickly shook their relationship in Deadlocked because... because... actually I have no idea why. Because Sookie said so. Still, even though Eric is being shipped off to a new Queen, the pull of Sookie could surely bring him back (or he will spend the rest of eternity appropriately mooning after her).


The spaniel. Sam is another one of those men who has always pined after Sookie but never actually been together with her. But his persistent faithfulness may finally be paying off. After loyally sticking with her through thick and thin, keeping her job open no matter how much time she takes off and now even giving Sookie a slice of his bar - and let her begin rearranging things. He even encouraged Sookie to read his mind, so eager was he to be her perfect man

Yes, the ultimate “nice guy”, Sam has been holding a torch for Sookie since book 1. As a bonus, like Alcide he has experience with difficult women (awful, mean women who hated Sookie. But then, that’s almost a prerequisite for any woman who dares look at one of Sookie’s men). Sam is well prepared to live a life of Spunkiness - have mercy on him.