Thursday, July 9, 2015

Atlantis, season 2, episode 9: The Gorgon's Gaze

Oracle #2 is now restored to her role – where she instantly condemns everyone with her new holy authority. Hah, no.  Absolutely no-one comments on the fact she just disappeared for several days and how having an Oracle around would have been quite useful when trying to find the truth of who killed the last one (actually, that’s a lie, Oracle #1’s predications have always been so supremely useless).

She gets a vision – or maybe she’s just slightly more adept than… well… anyone on this show. She says that the gods are furious and are going to rage righteous destruction down on them because the rightful heir

Oh Pasiphae, someone wasn’t worthy.

Pasiphae decides to have the Oracle taken away by the guards.  Cilix desperately tries to spin the result and decides that Ariadne must renounce her throne in favour of Pasiphae which will make her the rightful heir.

Y’know, gaming prophecy is all well and good when Melas is your mouthpiece. But if you keep looking for loopholes, Oracle #2 can keep “clarifying”

Pasiphae goes to Ariadne who tells her where Ariadne doesn’t want to play along – so she takes Delmos away for a round of torture. Nah he’s too new for us to care that much about. Pasiphae begins her brutal reign of terror over the city but she has a loyal soldier she sends for Jason

Jason & co have left the city. Again. This city actually has walls. No really, actual huge walls and gates and everything – we know because they always reference them on how dangerous it will be to get back into the city despite it never ever being a problem.

Pythagoras reassures Jason and promises an actual plan (plan? What is this strange plan thing of which you speak?) He then goes to comfort Medusa who, rather understandably, has a rather epic case of the guilts and also doesn’t want to confide in Hercules since it will only make him feel worse

Hercules works on an epic reassuring speech to try and get Jason back in the game. And the soldier arrives to tell them all everything relies on Jason. Oh how screwed they are. Medusa decides that telling Jason that Ariadne may be being abused is a bad idea as it will make his already appalling decision making even worse. She has a plan

Well it can’t be worse than everyone else’s. Which involves Pythagoras returning to the city. Hugs all round and off he goes. Seriously they need to just install turnstiles in those walls and have done with it. He reaches his friends Daedalus and his son Icarus who tell him the army has sided with Pasiphae (for… reasons. Actually that’s a lie, there are no reasons on this show.) He wants their help to break into the Temple and steal Pandora’s box. Daedalus really likes this idea.

The plan is to sneak in among a crowd of lepers, with Daedalus scoffing at Icharus’s fear of the lepers (rightly pointing out leprosy is not actually very contagious).

Elsewhere in the city Melas goes to where the Oracle is being held in a cell (which everyone is now quite ok with) and tell her to be Pasiphae’s servant even though her woo-woo forces her to tell the truth. She points out that his asking her to hedge the truth is basically blasphemy (lots of this going round). Melas realises he’s done a bad thing. His tears impress me not one iota. But she’s sure the gods will understand

Uh… have you read Greek Mythology? The Greek gods are not known for their mercy, compassion and understanding. She also tell him to practice what he preaches – but puts it a bit nicer than that.

Plan B is to have Medea use magic to break Ariadne.

Delmos is still being tortured but he makes Ariadne promise not to give in. She does. Lady doesn’t even hesitate, you could at least pretend it’s a hard choice, Ariadne.  Pasiphae threatens to kill Delmos is Ariadne doesn’t give up – which certainly isn’t happening. Delmos is dead. I’m kind of amused by how non-torn Ariadne is about this but also happy she isn’t guilt-weaseling.

Through potting, Pythagoras is sneaked into the temple where he is seen by Melas – he appeals to Melas’s not-even-close-to-sufficient guilt. Melas decides to lead him out of the temple as if it would come close to making up for the evil. Pythagoras returns to the forest with the box to meet with Medusa who again asks for her super-secret plan to be kept a secret.

Medusa and Hercules continue to be tragically adorable together as she drugs his food. When he’s asleep Medusa and Pythagoras reveal their plan to Jason – turn Medusa back into a Gorgon, a being which an army cannot possibly defeat. Jason protests how Medusa would suffer under such a curse again – but Medusa says she is cursed now, cursed with guilt over what she’s done. And they need Jason to be part of this as he’s the only one immune to a Gorgon’s gaze. Jason argues against it but she insists

And when he goes out to meet her she has used Pandora’s box to become a Gorgon again. He does what she asks – and cuts off her head to use as a weapon.

Poor Pythagoras is left behind to explain everything to Hercules when he wakes. Hercules’s grief is overwhelming

Jason goes to Atlantis and unleashes snakey stone death on any soldiers that stop him. When Pasiphae hears of this she calls her soldiers back and intends to deal with it by herself but she doesn’t look confident. But she is also immune to the gorgon’s gaze

Which makes it a sword fight. Which Jason wins in milliseconds. Pasiphae begs for her life and Jason cannot kill her as she invokes motherhood to save herself. He knocks her unconscious. And still doesn’t kill her.

Damn it Jason, Medusa’s sacrifice deserves better than this! She died for you to defeat Pasiphae and save the city!

Medea arrives to exposition – Jason is touched by the gods through Pasipahe, which is why he’s immune to gorgons and has amazing fighting skills and why he and Medea feel so much for each other – Jason ignores that and tells her he only feels hatred for her

But doesn’t kill her either. Seriously Jason?!

He does rescue Ariadne. So they can escape together. Rather than kill the usurper and reclaim the throne.

It’s appropriate that Poseidon is the god of Atlantis and his symbol is the bull – because the great steaming piles of bullshit being scattered around is incredible.

The council, the guards, the whole city collectively lost their shit at Ariadne because of her protecting of Jason who was accused of killing the Oracle. But Pasiphae turns around, not 1 day afterwards and has those same guards drag the new Oracle away?! How can she even do that without them turning round and giving her an “oh hell no!?” in epic surround sound? Her leverage over Melas is the only thing that got her the throne in the first place and now she’s spitting on that as well.

I take it back, Pasiphae isn’t a more intelligent ruler than Ariadne and Jason. The whole royal family has the collective intelligence of a cabbage. A single cabbage. Multiple cabbages would be too smart.

Over the last season and a half, exactly what has Pasiphae achieved that would in any way shape or form win the loyalty of even one person in Atlantis? Just one person? Let alone the entire army!

Medusa and her excellent acting and conflict is wasted on this trainwreck of a storyline. And to lose her over it! And can I add yet again that it is outrageous that Medusa sacrificed herself, her life, her future and embraced a horror she’d only just escaped for the sake of the city and then Jason utterly fails to deliver it! If Pasiphae were dead then Ariadne would be undisputed Queen, again – especially with the new Oracle to hail her and with Melas out from under the thumb. One sword stroke! And don’t claim moral highground – the man just gorgoned a regiment of soldiers! Moral highground he does not have!