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Wednesday, October 14, 2015
The Last Man on Earth, Season Two, Episode Three: Dead Man Walking
Phil, or rather Tandy, watches from a distance as the group participates in a funeral for Gordon. Carol, who only knew Gordon long enough to scare him to death interrupts the funeral to wish Gordon a smooth journey to heaven or to hell. Carol adds that by now they are so used to death but Gordon will be missed. Todd starts to sing, "Time in a Bottle" but barely gets through the first few lines before tearing up. With the group distracted, Carol shoots a thumbs up sign at Tandy.
Tandy is dealing with his boredom by doing batting practice in the RV when Carol shows up to check up on him. Carol explains that she has to get back for Gordon's wake. Phil asks if Carol brought him up and Carol explains that with Gordon's death, there's been a lot to think about. Phil naturally denies that he cares about the group and assures Carol that she should take her time.
Melissa takes Carol on a short tour of Gordon's mansion. The two women express how much they've missed each other and Melissa asks what happened to make Carol leave with Tandy. Carol fakes spilling a hot drink on herself and excuses herself to get cleaned up. Phil approaches Carol, who is cleaning up in the bathroom and reminds her that the last time they were together, they were making love. Carol apologises for leaving Tuscon without saying goodbye to him. Their brief reunion is interrupted by Erica, who takes the opportunity to stake her claim on Phil. It seems that in Carol's absence, Phil and Erica became a couple. Erica leaves the room shooting Carol a nasty look.
In the solarium, the group is gathered to remember Gordon. Gail and Gordon were lovers and so she begins to list Gordon's many faults which include: sexism, racism and body odor. Wow, Gordon was a real winner eh? Melissa changes the topic by asking the group to welcome Carol back. Todd, asks Carol what happened to her because the last time he saw her, she was headed out to the desert to give Tandy some supplies. Carol admits that she chose to stay with Tandy and the entire group expresses thanks that Tandy didn't return with Carol. When they ask where Tandy is now, Carol decides to tell the group that Tandy is dead.
Back in the RV, Tandy is not impressed that Carol told the group that Tandy is dead. Carol assures Phil that it's going to be fine because people always remember the dead fondly. Carol assures Tandy with a little bit of time and the right PR, Tandy will be the next Michael Jackson. Carol is surprised that the first thing that Phil remembers about Michael Jackson is molestation charge. Tandy wonders whether Phil is over Carol now and she tells him about Phil's relationship with Erica. Tandy then asks about Todd and Melissa, and Carol tells Tandy that Todd is gay. Tandy's response is to say, "I knew it," excitedly. Carol points out that for someone who claims to have no interest in the group, he has a lot of curiosity. Phil claims that he is fine in the RV alone but Carol says that has come up with the perfect noble death for Phil.
Carol shows Melissa and Todd the pictures she has drawn to illustrate Tandy's death. Carol tells them that she decided to a hand stand on the rim of the Grand Canyon and just as she was about to plummet to her death, Tandy apparently grabbed her but in the process fell over the cliff himself. Tandy's fake last words were, "no regrets". She highlights her tale by showing them drawings of a dead Tandy. Todd starts to cry and Carol assumes that Todd is sad about Tandy but it seems that he is still mourning Gordon. When the group look out at the beach, they see Gail in a black mourning dress repeatedly writing Gordon's name in the sand and allowing the waves to wash it away. For Gail, it's a form of spiritual healing.
Naturally, Carol has to take to the beach and imitate Gail. From a distance, Todd and Melissa observe and when they express pity for Carol, Erica is not the least bit impressed. Erica says that she is not willing to welcome back with open arms. Melissa assumes that Erica is upset about Tandy and points out that none of Tandy's B.S. was Carol's fault. Erica is not interested and says that she is still going to pass.
Phil joins Carol on the beach to tell her that he hates seeing her sad like this. Phil tells Carol that he is there for her and Carol advises that he do everything he can to make sure that Erica is happy because life is so short. This is the reason Phil gives for breaking up with Erica, shocking Carol. Phil declares that he wants to spend his life with Carol and then lifts her veil and attempts to kiss her. Carol backs away, lowers her veil and claims that she is not wearing any sunscreen.
Alone in the RV, Phil is about to look through Carol's sketchbook when Carol arrives. Carol tells Tandy that Phil broke up with Erica and kissed her on the beach and this is why she has decided to skip to the final phase of her plans. Carol has decided to bring Tandy back to life today and hands Tandy a walkie talkie so that he can join her when she gives the signal. Carol promises that if this doesn't work out that the two of them can go back to Tuscon. Carol orders Tandy to go get spruced up for the big reveal.
Gail is trying to give the group a lecture on how to perform CPR but collapses crying when she realises that she dressed the dummy in Gordon's clothing. Carol intervenes to offer an apology for scaring Gordon to death. Carol suggests that it's too bad that Tandy couldn't be here because he was an expert on CPR. Carol claims that Tandy learned CPR, so that Carol would know that she's safe. Carol then asks to go around the group and share one memory about Tandy. Todd brings up Tandy's attempt to kill him, Phil brings up Tandy's threat to kill him, Melissa brings up Tandy's repeated attempts to trick her into having sex with him, Erica brings up the fact that Tandy lied about the group existing so that Tandy could have sex with her and Gail and Gail finishes off by calling Tandy a "God forsaken tool." Carol then gives the signal for Tandy to come out of the bushes. The group immediately stands up and leaves.
Back in the RV, surrounded by his balls, Tandy has a freak out. Later that night, Carol says that she and Tandy are going back to Tuscon. Carol explains that even after burning down Tandy's house and leaving a letter implying bodily harm against Tandy, he still insisted that they come to Malibu for her sake. Carol declares that Tandy really has changed. Carol tells the group that she forgave Tandy and was hoping that the group would do the same, before standing up to leave. Melissa asks if Tandy really has changed and Carol assures her that Tandy has really changed.
Back in the RV, Tandy is busy throwing himself a pity party saying that if the group would listen, they would know how very sorry he is. When next we see Tandy, he charges into the house pointing a gun at everyone. Tandy explains that he just came to say that he is sorry and that the only reason he has a gun is to force everyone to listen to him. At gunpoint he personally apologises to each member of the group, promising that he is different now. Carol finally cuts Phil off by telling him that the group had decided to forgive him before he busted in there with a gun.
Okay...what is there to say about this hot mess? I suppose we should at least talk about Tandy's excitement about the possibility that Todd is gay. First, this is the second season and there are no gay characters and yet the first time gay people are brought up, it's a joke. Thanks for that Last Man on Earth.
The Last Man on Earth is absolutely is the story of a manchild. There isn't a single likable character on the entire show. Even the title isn't accurate. I blame Sparky. Why are we watching this show again? It's absolutely horrible.
Then there's Melissa's comment that Tandy tried to trick her into sex. Yes she was angry about this but I still think the show could have done a better job explaining how predatory what he tried to do was.
At this point, I still don't understand why the group is forgiving Tandy. There's nothing redeemable about this man but I suppose if they didn't forgive him, the show would have to come to an end.